Friendships Reign in the Rain

The harder the recent rains fell, the greater became the flood of phone calls and voicemails and text messages from friends, far and farther, asking how I was doing on account of our coastal paradise making the national news.

I bet you had friends do likewise—or maybe you were one.

The atmospheric river may have been Man Bites Dog worthy news, but friends checking in on friends is as common as Dog Wags Tail. And yet such acts of friendship, and family-ship too, are worth acknowledging—no, worth celebrating!—and not taking for granted.

A week ago in this space I chronicled how a Good Samaritan took 20 minutes out of her day, and drove quite a few miles out of her way, to personally deliver a package that had mistakenly landed in her mailbox.

If a kind stranger will go to such lengths, one can only imagine the distances our friends and loved ones will travel. I didn’t have to imagine the other day when, as the deluge hit full force, I received the following text from a relatively new friend, but already a dear one for some friendships are as fast and hearty as instant oatmeal, who lives in Northern California:

“Hey Pal, just checkin’ in to see if you’re ok. I’m just hearing and reading horrific stuff, and they start talking about Montecito, SB, and Ventura. I think the worst is over for us up here, but if there’s anything I can do, it’s only a four-hour drive. There’s nothing on my plate that can’t be postponed. Let me know. Stay dry, my friend – dj”

Only a four-hour drive! That, in a nutshell, is friendship, where distance and time are no obstacles. As Abdu’l-Bahá eloquently put it: “Where there is love, nothing is too much trouble, and there is always time.”

This quote often makes me think of my friend Scott and his now-grown son, Justin. A ballpark figure for how many youth baseball games Justin played in is 1,500, but father and son can both tell you the exact the number Scott missed: three—two of them because of emergency surgery.

Another sporting example of love being blind to trouble and always finding time is my longtime, and now long-distance, friend Randy who checked in on me from New York during the heavy rainstorm. In turn, I asked how his son Charlie’s tennis season at Merrimack College is going.

In a word, and befitting rising floodwaters, swimmingly! As a junior, Charlie is a team co-captain playing No. 1 doubles and No. 3 singles. And here’s the Abdu’l-Bahá-like best part of the update: Randy and his wife Debby, despite an eight-hour roundtrip drive to home matches, have attended 80 percent of them, plus most road contests too.

One final vignette of love and friendship, which are one and the same, ignoring distance. Not long ago, my college buddy Mikey was in Italy, in the coastal paradise of Sorrento, in a marketplace alleyway where he saw a man sitting with a typewriter. Knowing my affection for QWERTY machines, Mikey investigated, learned Paolo Grasso was a street poet for hire and requested one honoring my 20-year consecutive day running streak.

Titled “The Runner,” the custom creation is typed in Italian on one side, translated into English on the other, and is lovely. Even lovelier, however, is that Mikey thought of me some 6,000 miles away.

The poem includes this beautiful stanza: “This continuous running / towards a goal / makes the moment precious.”

Friends, shine or rain, make the moment precious as well.

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Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Act of Giving Requires Two

STRAW_CoverWoody’s highly anticipated new book “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” is NOW available! Order your signed copy HERE!

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Act of Giving Requires the Gift of Receiving

The lovely music of a violin requires not just its strings but also a bow. A writer’s words are meaningless without a reader. It takes two hands, not one, to applaud.

And the act of giving is an empty gesture without someone on the receiving end. At times, however, we can become so focused on doing kind deeds that we forget this important truth.

I received a refreshing reminder last weekend.

1watercoldI am neither a mad dog nor Englishman, but I was out in the midday sun Saturday getting in my 4,829th consecutive daily run. Despite the mercury inching up toward triple-digits, causing a friend to shout out, perhaps accurately, “You’re crazy!” as he drove by, I stubbornly completed my planned 13-miler consisting of 26 laps around the perimeter of the three soccer fields at the southeast corner of the Kimball Aquatic Center Community Park.

As I was stretching and cooling down, that term being relative on this unseasonable and unreasonable autumn afternoon, I was approached and greeted by a burly man with a jet-black beard so long and thick it would make Edward Teach – aka Blackbeard the Pirate – envious.

It should not matter – and yet with racial tensions and tragedies making headlines daily, perhaps it does bear mention – that the bearded burly man and I are of different ethnicities.

“Do you want some water?” he asked.

“Thanks,” I answered, “but I’ve got a Gatorade in my car.”

After the man turned and walked away, I had second thoughts. While it was true I had a sports drink in my car, I suddenly realized this was beside the point.

What was important was John Wooden’s maxim: “There is great joy in helping others.” It now occurred to me that I had just denied this friendly man a slice of joy. Also, of course, I had denied myself the joy of receiving his kindness.

“Hey,” I called out while he was still within earshot. “I would like to take you up on that water.”

The man’s reaction reminded me of a scene in the movie “Wedding Crashers” when Owen Wilson’s character, John Beckwith, reconsiders after having earlier turned down an offer for meatloaf from Chaz, played by Will Ferrell.

“You know what,” John says, “I will have some meatloaf. Let’s have some meatloaf.”

“You want some?” Chaz says, excitedly. “Hey, Ma! The meatloaf! We want it now! The meatloaf!”

Hearing my change of mind, the man flashed a toothpaste-ad smile that burst through his beard like sunshine from behind a parting a cloud. He enthusiastically said: “You do? Great!”

With that he bolted off to the parking lot and from a cooler in the bed of his pickup truck pulled out not one, but two, bottles of ice-cold water.

“I’ve seen you running laps for close to two hours so you need to drink up,” he said, offering me both bottles as well a glucose tablet.

I chugged the first bottle of water about as fast as it would pour out, not only because I was parched but also in an attempt to truly show the man my appreciation in a way a mere “thank you” could not.

As we chatted briefly, I learned my Samaritan’s name is Eric and that he has coached youth soccer for nearly a decade. When I got home I understood why he was perhaps a little worried about me: my black running hat was stained half-white while my face was also heavily peppered with salt.

Too, a lingering smile was on my face because Eric had not only refreshed my body but also given my mind a refresher in this insight from British author Alexander McCall Smith:

“Gracious acceptance is an art – an art which most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving. Accepting another person’s gift is allowing him to express his feelings for you.”

Wise food – or rather, ice-cold water – for thought.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden&Me_cover_PRCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

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