Is your Club or Group looking for an inspiring guest speaker or do you want to host a book signing? . . . Contact Woody today!

* * *

For a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” use the PayPal link on my home page or mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

 *  *  *

Rants and Raves About This and That

If you were expecting 600 words of nice this morning, put down the newspaper and go phone your grandma. I’m in an annoyed I-stubbed-my-toe kind of mood.

But I do love being able to wear flip-flops in November.

*

            I get annoyed by the early darkness and wish we could keep Daylight Saving Time year-round.

I love that the clocks on my cell phone, cable box and GPS watch “fall back” automatically and I don’t have to reset them.

*

            I get annoyed that anyone in America has to wait in line for two or three hours, some even longer, to cast a ballot. As the 49-year-old saying goes, If we can put a man on the moon . . . we should be able to get everyone in-and-out of the voting booth in under an hour.

I still love our election system, messy-as-a-baby-eating-spaghetti-by-herself that it is.

*

            I get annoyed by political yard signs that remain out long after the election is over. I say politicians should be fined $1 per sign left out, per day, after a 48-hour grace period.

I love this election-inspired lyric from “Belief” by John Mayer: “Is there anyone who ever remembers / Changing their mind from the paint on a sign?”

*

            I get annoyed that Christmas advertising now begins before Halloween. The day is coming when Americans will return from trick-or-treating and sit down to eat huge turkey dinners with all the fixings and then open presents the next morning.

I love giving out candy, giving thanks, and giving gifts.

*

I get annoyed by leaf blowers that simply move the mess into the street or neighboring yard.

I love seeing a pile of raked leaves – especially if kids are busy making a mess of it.

*

            It annoys me that dangerous, and senseless, “targeting” continues to happen in football. I say instead of ejection from a game, the first time a player uses his helmet as a weapon he should thereafter be forced to play in a bygone-era leather helmet. There won’t be a need for any second penalties.

I love high school and college marching bands.

*

            It annoys me when the salsa is gone before the tortilla chips are.

I love the rare times the chips and salsa come out even.

*

            I get annoyed by all the mixed signals about flu shots – “You must get it; no, you shouldn’t; this year’s vaccine will be a good match for circulating viruses; no, it never is.”

In the end – but in the arm – I always get the shot and I love it when, because of it or not, I don’t get the flu.

*

I get annoyed when I see someone toss litter out a car window.

I love seeing Good Samaritans picking up selfish people’s litter.

*

            I am annoyed that Clayton Kershaw, who has 9 wins against 10 losses in postseason career play, was rewarded with an extra year worth $28 million on top of the $65 million the Dodgers already owed him for 2019 and 2020. As Lee Trevino used to say, “You drive for show and putt for dough.” The regular season is for show, postseason is for dough.

I love that his organization “Kershaw’s Challenge: Strikeout to Serve” donates millions of dollars to help others.

*

            It annoys me when people complain seriously about minor annoyances.

I love this wisdom from Dick Dodd, a 90-year-old Venturan and longtime volunteer: “You gotta go to bed liking yourself, and the only way to do that is by helping somebody else.”

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Check out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

• Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

Is your Club or Group looking for an inspiring guest speaker or do you want to host a book signing? . . . Contact Woody today!

* * *

For a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” use the PayPal link on my home page or mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

*

Early Christmas for 2018 Ball Drive

In my boyhood, I fondly remember picking wild blackberries and raspberries on humid summer days spent at a weekend cabin retreat in rural Ohio. My three siblings and I literally filled pail after pail with ripe berries despite the fact that nearly as many went directly into our mouths.

Despite their ready abundance, these gathered berries – and store-bought strawberries as well – in summertime were always a delicious treat. Too, an expected one.

Some of last year’s gift balls for disadvantaged kids.

Berries in the wintertime, in the Midwest, however, are something I cannot recall from my youth. I am sure they were available at the supermarket in the 1960s for a premium, but Mom never brought them home.

So it was a magical winter indeed when my family took a Christmas vacation to Ventura in 1971. I had never before seen the ocean in person, much less bodysurfed and built sandcastles; explored tidal pools at low tide and chased a “grunion run” under a full moon’s high tide.

And here is something else new and magical: fresh strawberries in wintertime. Instead of by the bucketful as with Ohio blackberries, we enjoyed Ventura County strawberries by the overflowing “flat.”

The following summer we moved from Columbus to Ventura and plump strawberries became year-round fare. Still, in my mind, “strawberries in wintertime” has remained synonymous for an unexpected treat.

I received such a treat this summer in an email from John Knittle. More accurately, I guess, it proved to be “Christmas in June.”

Knittle is a member of the Camarillo-Somis Lions Club and they wanted to learn more about my annual holiday sports ball drive. I came to a meeting and shared how it started . . .

About 20 years ago, I was at a local youth basketball clinic when NBA All-Star Cedric Ceballos presented autographed basketballs to a handful of lucky attendees.

Leaving the gym afterward, I happened upon a 10-year-old boy who won one of the prized keepsakes – which he was dribbling on the rough blacktop outdoor court, and shooting baskets with, while perhaps imagining he was Ceballos.

Meanwhile, the real Ceballos’ Sharpie signature was wearing off.

Curious why the boy had not carefully carried the trophy basketball home and put it safely on a bookshelf, I interrupted his playing to ask.

“I’ve never had my own basketball,” he answered matter-of-factly between shots.

That Christmastime, thinking of that boy – and other boys and girls who do not have their own basketball to shoot, soccer ball to kick, football to throw – Woody’s Holiday Ball Drive was born.

Shortly after my visit to the Lions, president Russ White informed me the club had decided to throw in its support. And so, even before officially kicking off this year’s annual campaign with today’s column, already 100 local disadvantaged youth are guaranteed to receive a brand new basketball thanks to the Lions’ generosity.

Once again, I am encouraging you dear readers to join in by dropping off a new sports ball – or balls – at any local Boys & Girls Club, YMCA, youth club or church and they will find a worthy young recipient.

Or drop balls off (weekdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. through Dec. 21) at Jensen Design & Survey at 1672 Donlon St. (near Target on Telephone Road in Ventura) and I will take it from there. Or have online orders shipped to the same address.

Also, please email me about your gift at woodywriter@gmail.com so I can add your generosity to this year’s tally.

Together, we can metaphorically fill a fruit flat to overflowing with sports balls and give a lot of kids “strawberries in wintertime” joy.

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Check out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

• Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

Is your Club or Group looking for an inspiring guest speaker or do you want to host a book signing? . . . Contact Woody today!

* * *

For a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” use the PayPal link on my home page or mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

A “Multiplier” Without Math Skills

With civil discord seeming to multiply daily as Tuesday’s elections near, it’s heartening to consider a different kind of “multiplier” as described by Helen Yunker, a Ventura community leader and generous benefactor who passed away this summer at age 96:

“By helping and sharing with others, you multiply your own happiness and blessings many times over.”

*

In response to my series of columns about “Mrs. Figs’ Bookworm,” and the old-fashioned manual typewriter on display that patrons are encouraged to use, Shirley Koval typed a new-fashioned email:

“Loved to see this quaint bookstore and owner Connie Halpern you wrote about. I like to go there and browse and discuss books, etc.

“However, you didn’t mention what “Mrs. Figs” stands for – “Faith In God Shows.” It does show when you visit that unique store!”

*

Reminiscing with an amusing story that has a fortuitous twist, Dick Pillow wrote: “I read with nostalgia and pleasure your column on old-fashioned typewriters.

“I am an old-timer who was talked into an elective class in high school by my buddy Waylon to take ‘Typewriting 1’. I objected by saying that it was just girls in there – and he said, that was the point . . . lots of contacts. So, I relented and we learned on manual Remingtons.

“We were indeed the only males in the class. The girls and lady instructor at first were shocked, but ended up treating us kindly when they found out we were actually interested and challenged to learn this skill.

“So we buckled down and did everything the instructor required of us, and did our very best to obtain the magic number of 55 words a minute. It was a half-semester class and I did get to 51, but could never make it to the 55.

“Anyway, we had such a good time, that we took ‘Typewriting 2’ the next semester to attempt to ‘break’ our records. This was in 1956, by the way, and after about the first couple of weeks, guess what showed up? Beautiful Olivettis, which were ELECTRIC – thank you, Lord!

“By the end of the semester I was at 64 words, I believe, and Waylon, who was always better than me, made it over the 70-mark easily. We both earned good grades and did indeed end up dating a couple of the girls in the class.

“I never realized how important this training was to me until I joined the Navy and after boot camp went to Great Lakes Ill., for electronic school. Before the school was to start, in about six weeks, there were about 180 of us assembled by a grizzled old Chief Petty Officer to be assigned temporary jobs until our schools began.

“He started out by asking if any of us could type and I believe only

four of us raised our hands. He said, ‘Move over here – you will go work in the 9th Naval District Legal Offices as typists. All the rest of you guys will do duty as mess-cooks (same as KP in Army).’

“Our duty in the Legal Dept. was easy with liberty every night and all our weekends free. So I hold dear my time learning to use the typewriter for sure!”

*

In closing, what a lovely tribute in a single sentence by the Rev. Lonnie McCowan at the memorial service for Bedford Pinkard, who died two weeks ago at age 88 and whose impact extended far beyond being an Oxnard councilman:

“We’re not here because he died, we’re here because he lived.”

And how he lived – as a “multiplier.”

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Check out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

• Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

Is your Club or Group looking for an inspiring guest speaker or do you want to host a book signing? . . . Contact Woody today!

* * *

For a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

* * *

Serendipitous Menu Item in Montreal

It was the best of times, not the worst of times, as my wife and I strolled the Old Port streets of Montreal recently.

Celebrating our 36th wedding anniversary, we were at the launching point of a cruise that would take us to four more Canadian port cities before a stop in Bar Harbor, Maine, and ending in Boston.

The cherry on top of our travels, for me, would be a post-cruise visit to Mark Twain’s House & Museum in Hartford, Connecticut. As I’ve chronicled previously, I collect visits to famous writer’s homes the way others collect antique clocks or baseball cards.

Author Charles Dickens

Touring where Samuel Clemens penned some of his most important works – including “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn”, “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer” and “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court” – promised to be well worth a three-hour drive each way from Boston.

In Old Montreal, in a restaurant we stumbled upon while looking for another, serendipity winked and whispered: “Follow me across the room, Woody, and add another gem to your collection right now.”

The wink. At the bottom left corner on the front of the menu at L’usine De Spaghetti appeared this small headline: “DICKENS GRIFFONNE.”

The whisper. “In May of 1842, Charles Dickens visited Montreal and wrote the notes for A Tale of Two Cities in the back room of this very restaurant.”

When our waiter arrived, instead of inquiring about the specials of the evening, I asked: “Is the back room still around?”

“Oui,” came the answer and he pointed me in the right direction.

Instantly, I excused myself and less than 30 paces away arrived at a stone wall bearing a wooden plaque reading “PLACE DICKENS.” Nearby was a gild-framed portrait of the wild-bearded author.

The serendipitous item on the menu.

Through connecting the doorway awaited a pub-like room that also had the feel of a library thanks to numerous built-in bookcases filled with leather-bound volumes. While the tables and booths were too crowded for me to peruse the specific titles, a waitress assured me the shelves included a copy of “A Tale of Two Cities.”

What a perfect place, a distant cousin to a modern coffee shop, for a writer to write. In my mind’s eye, in the corner booth in the far rear, I could see Dickens working on his most famous masterpiece.

Already well known for penning “The Pickwick Papers” and “Oliver Twist,” in the late spring of 1842 the literary Londoner traveled to Niagara Falls, Toronto and Queenston before spending two weeks in Montreal.

At that time, this back room actually comprised the entire restaurant. Dickens, meanwhile, was staying next door at Rasco’s Inn, which he called “the worst hotel in the whole wide world.”

Is it possible this lovely pub and loathsome inn inspired the famous opening line, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times . . . ”? It is pleasing to think so.

On the other hand, because “A Tale of Two Cities” was not published until 1859 – nearly two decades after Dickens’ Montreal visit – assertions of the novel’s origins reaching back to this room could be seen as a fanciful “George Washington Slept Here” claim.

No matter, I choose to believe.

I also choose to add Charles Dickens to my writerly collection. Technically, of course, the back room of L’usine De Spaghetti was not his home. Also, he purportedly only wrote the notes for “A Tale of Two Cities” here, not the full manuscript. All the same, with an asterisk, I am counting it.

My tale of six cities will continue next week.

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Check out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

• Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com
• Unsigned paperbacks or Kindle ebook can be purchased here at Amazon