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For a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” use the PayPal link on my home page or mail a check for $25 to:
Woody Woodburn
400 Roosevelt Court
Ventura, CA 93003
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Rants and Raves About This and That
If you were expecting 600 words of nice this morning, put down the newspaper and go phone your grandma. I’m in an annoyed I-stubbed-my-toe kind of mood.
But I do love being able to wear flip-flops in November.
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I get annoyed by the early darkness and wish we could keep Daylight Saving Time year-round.
I love that the clocks on my cell phone, cable box and GPS watch “fall back” automatically and I don’t have to reset them.
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I get annoyed that anyone in America has to wait in line for two or three hours, some even longer, to cast a ballot. As the 49-year-old saying goes, If we can put a man on the moon . . . we should be able to get everyone in-and-out of the voting booth in under an hour.
I still love our election system, messy-as-a-baby-eating-spaghetti-by-herself that it is.
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I get annoyed by political yard signs that remain out long after the election is over. I say politicians should be fined $1 per sign left out, per day, after a 48-hour grace period.
I love this election-inspired lyric from “Belief” by John Mayer: “Is there anyone who ever remembers / Changing their mind from the paint on a sign?”
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I get annoyed that Christmas advertising now begins before Halloween. The day is coming when Americans will return from trick-or-treating and sit down to eat huge turkey dinners with all the fixings and then open presents the next morning.
I love giving out candy, giving thanks, and giving gifts.
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I get annoyed by leaf blowers that simply move the mess into the street or neighboring yard.
I love seeing a pile of raked leaves – especially if kids are busy making a mess of it.
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It annoys me that dangerous, and senseless, “targeting” continues to happen in football. I say instead of ejection from a game, the first time a player uses his helmet as a weapon he should thereafter be forced to play in a bygone-era leather helmet. There won’t be a need for any second penalties.
I love high school and college marching bands.
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It annoys me when the salsa is gone before the tortilla chips are.
I love the rare times the chips and salsa come out even.
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I get annoyed by all the mixed signals about flu shots – “You must get it; no, you shouldn’t; this year’s vaccine will be a good match for circulating viruses; no, it never is.”
In the end – but in the arm – I always get the shot and I love it when, because of it or not, I don’t get the flu.
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I get annoyed when I see someone toss litter out a car window.
I love seeing Good Samaritans picking up selfish people’s litter.
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I am annoyed that Clayton Kershaw, who has 9 wins against 10 losses in postseason career play, was rewarded with an extra year worth $28 million on top of the $65 million the Dodgers already owed him for 2019 and 2020. As Lee Trevino used to say, “You drive for show and putt for dough.” The regular season is for show, postseason is for dough.
I love that his organization “Kershaw’s Challenge: Strikeout to Serve” donates millions of dollars to help others.
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It annoys me when people complain seriously about minor annoyances.
I love this wisdom from Dick Dodd, a 90-year-old Venturan and longtime volunteer: “You gotta go to bed liking yourself, and the only way to do that is by helping somebody else.”
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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.
Check out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …
- Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com