Memories Tragically Go Unmade

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Buoyed in Boat Tragedy

by Two Uplifting Emails 

Making memories, that is what the 39 people aboard the Conception were doing.

Certainly most of the 33 passengers were off the Santa Cruz Island coast specifically to go diving, and the crew of six was on hand to give them the opportunity to do so, but above all they were all out there on our postcard waters to make memories.

In the aftermath of the tragic below-deck nighttime fire that claimed the lives of all 33 patrons and one crewmember, I was reminded by a reader of a recent column of mine that the trip to sea was about making memories.

Coincidentally, Sheila Kane McCollum wrote of our scenic underwaters:

“Tears streamed down my face this morning as I read about your ‘Daddy Dates’! Your recounting of your time with daughter Dallas brought to mind so many cherished memories of my own times with my wonderful dad.

“After my brothers (four and five years my senior) moved away, I took up scuba diving so Dad and I could have that to share. We spent many weekends out at Channel Islands exploring the reefs and searching for the elusive lobster.

“Because I had gone on a rafting adventure, my dad suggested we do a trip together. We drove up to Kern Valley and spent two days rafting and camping at night on some hard earth. I can’t say he loved the rafting as much as I, but we both thoroughly enjoyed our three days together, laughing and making these memories.

“Dad has been gone more than 20 years, but my memories bring him back with love, admiration and appreciation.”

When Sheila’s email arrived, a week before the stunning Conception catastrophe, it brought a smile to my heart. To figuratively see her take down a flowered box from the top shelf in her closet, set it on her bed and remove the lid, and unwrap the tissue paper that has kept safe these memories of her dad for two decades, is lovely.

Two weeks later, that image also makes the heart weep for all the memories of a dive trip that won’t be unwrapped and retold, smiled at and enjoyed, 20 years from now.

The grief, even for those of us who may never have heard one of those memories shared, is leaden. There have been far too many unbearable tragedies locally, from the Thomas Fire to the Borderline shooting to the Conception.

And yet another reader, also in a recent email, added some thoughts as a buoy. Responding to my column about playful kids at a summer camp, Diane Sweet wrote:

“I have enjoyed your columns for years and now look forward to my Saturday laugh or cry as I read your banter, philosophy, and encouragement. Today was exceptional as I was with you on the playground and talking to the kids – albeit I would not be running!

“I am celebrating my 70th birthday this week, and I totally agree with you and Walter Hagen, ‘Don’t hurry, don’t worry. You’re only here for a short visit. So don’t forget to stop and smell the roses.’

“I know 70 years sounds ‘old’, but it has gone quickly! I am continually trying to ‘enjoy the moments’. I have a beautiful and fragrant ‘Yves Piaget’ rosebush that I bought at a farm in Carpinteria that I just stop and smell whenever it’s in bloom. The sweet scent reminds me how precious and temporary life is and I don’t take it for granted.”

Perhaps that sentiment – and fond memories – is all we have to hang onto when our hearts collapse in sorrow.

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FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM: @woodywoodburn

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Check out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …