Masterpiece Friends Elevate Us

June 22, 2019June 24, 2019 by Woody

Masterpiece Friends Elevate

Us To The Clouds

“A friend,” Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, and wisely, “may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.”

One such masterpiece in my life celebrates a milestone birthday today, having completed 60 voyages around the sun. Thinking of My Masterpiece Friend brings also to mind my first best friend throughout childhood.

Dan and my relationship got off to an odd start a year before starting kindergarten together when our moms, who were in the same bowling league, set up an introductory play date.

When Mrs. Means – parents did not have first names in the 1960s – called out for Dan to come into the family room to meet me, he did not appear. She tried again, slightly louder. Again, Dan did not show up or answer. Not one to yell, Mrs. Means directed me down the hallway to the last door on the right.

I found Dan’s room, but not Dan. From beneath the bed, however, came a soft rustling noise. I crept over, dropped to my hands and knees, and lifted the hanging bedspread. Hiding like a fox in a den, Dan was playing with G.I. Joes.

Dan gave me a Cold War reception, like I was G.I. Vladimir, and refused to come out. Meanwhile, I dared not crawl into G.I. Dan’s foxhole. Instead, my mental Kodachrome footage shows the strangest thing: I started doing pushups, counting aloud, “One, two, three … ten!”

Why in the world would I act like a mini-Jack LaLanne? I have no idea other than I was trying to impress Dan in the same manner I sometimes reacted when my two older brothers told me I was too puny to join their activities.

Dan eventually Army-crawled out from his under-the-bed bunker and we played G.I. Joes. Next, we fed his two pet gerbils – “Bruce” and “Wayne” in honor of Batman’s true identity – and then headed to the basement to play with Hot Wheels.

Murray was a four-legged masterpiece friend.

Dan and I were fast friends indeed, literally so at a go-kart speedway once. More accurately, that day I was his fast-and-reckless friend. On the opening lap I bumped his wheels while trying to pass and sent us both spinning into the grass infield. We were instantly expelled from the track. Instead of being ticked off at me, Dan laughed like Muttley the cartoon dog having a loud asthma attack.

Fast forward four decades. I met My Masterpiece Friend in similar fashion to how I met Dan. Instead of two matchmaking moms, a shared acquaintance set up a play date of sorts to introduce us. This time, I did not do any impromptu calisthenics.

“Make friendship a fine art,” John Wooden advised and in this vein My Masterpiece Friend is a modern Rembrandt. One example may serve as well as 100. Recently, our nearly 13-year-old boxer grew gravely ill with cancer. The day arrived when the only humane recourse was to have a veterinarian come to our home to relieve Murray’s suffering through euthanasia.

The vet, who had the couch-side manner of an angel, needed help lifting Murray onto the stretcher afterward. I risked aggravating a recent injury, although that pain would be preferable to having my distraught wife do the morose task.

Not to worry because My Masterpiece Friend dropped everything and rushed over. What is even more, I knew he would.

“What wealth is it to have such friends that we cannot think of them without elevation!” wrote Emerson’s great friend, Henry David Thoreau. I can still envision Dan and me kicking the clouds with our toes while soaring on the playground swings, but My Masterpiece Friend elevates me higher still.

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at woodywoodburn. His books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Check out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

Advice From Dads for Father’s Day

June 15, 2019 by Woody

Dadvice for Father’s Day

Father’s Day cards will be opened tomorrow, so it seems apropos to begin today with a Hallmark-worthy thought from Mark Twain who famously observed: “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”

More recently, classical pianist Charles Wadworth expanded on Twain’s quip, noting: “By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”

Or a daughter.

My friend Barry Kibrick, host of the Emmy-winning PBS book-talk show “Between the Lines,” once told me of raising his two sons: “I never worried about over-praising them and building up their self-esteem too much because there are plenty of people in the world who will try to tear them down.”

Author Jan Hutchins had a similarly wise dad, sharing: “When I was a kid, my father told me every day, ‘You’re the most wonderful boy in the world, and you can do anything you want to.’ ”

Clarence Budington Kelland, a 20th century novelist who once described himself as “the best second-rate writer in America,” made a first-rate compliment about his own father: “He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.”

Best-selling essayist Robert Fulghum put it this way: “Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.”

American inventor Charles Kettering likewise advised, “Every father should remember one day his son will follow his example, not his advice.”

From attribution unknown comes this pearl: “One night a father overheard his son pray: ‘Dear God, Make me the kind of man my Daddy is.’ Later that night, the father prayed, ‘Dear God, Make me the kind of man my son wants me to be.’ ”

The rock band Yellowcard offers this lovely lyric about the power of a dad as a role model: “Father I will always be / that same boy who stood by the sea / and watched you tower over me / now I’m older I wanna be the same as you.”

Hall of Fame baseball player Harmon Killebrew apparently had a Hall of Fame Dad, the son recalling: “My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, ‘You’re tearing up the grass.’ Dad would reply, ‘We’re not raising grass – we’re raising boys.’ ”

A great attitude for dads of daughters as well, naturally.

Speaking of girls, John Mayer strikes the right chord with these lyrics: “Fathers, be good to your daughters. You are the god and the weight of her world.”

Getting further to the heart of the matter, John Wooden, who believed “love” is the most important word in the English language, said: “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”

From another basketball coach, the late Jim Valvano: “My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person – he believed in me.”

My friend and mentor Wayne Bryan, father of doubles legends Mike and Bob who are even better people than they are tennis players, advises parents: “Shout your praise to the rooftops and if you must criticize, drop it like a dandelion. On second thought, don’t criticize at all.”

In closing is a home-run thought from Hall of Fame singles hitter Wade Boggs: “Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.”

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

Words of Wisdom For Graduates

June 8, 2019 by Woody

Dear Class of 2019, In The Words Of . . .

Hello, Class of 2019. I am honored and humbled to address you on this milestone occasion today. As you turn the page to the next chapter in your lives, I offer the following advice.

“Good advice is always certain to be ignored, but that’s no reason not to give it.”(1) “My advice to you is not to inquire why or dither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it’s on your plate.”(2)

“There is absolutely no reason for being rushed along with the rush.”(3) “It does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop.”(4)

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”(5) “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” (6) “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”(7)

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”(8) “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ ”(9)

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”(10)

“Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don’t, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it’d be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.”(11)

“Nothing will work unless you do.”(12) “Gardens are not made by singing, ‘Oh, how beautiful,’ and sitting in the shade.”(13) “The one who plants trees, knowing that he will never sit under their shade, has at least started to understand the meaning of life.”(14)

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”(15) “One person can make a difference, and everyone should try.”(16) “If you don’t make an effort to help others less fortunate than you, then you’re just wasting your time on Earth.”(17)

“Never give up on a dream just because of the length of time it will take to accomplish. The time will pass anyway.”(18) “Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Try to be better than yourself.”(19)

“Don’t let making a living prevent you from making a life.”(20) “We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.”(21) “When you get, give; when you learn, teach.”(22) “Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.”(23) “I argue thee that love is life. And life hath immortality.”(24)

“The fireworks begin today. Each diploma is a lighted match. Each one of you is a fuse.”(25)

“ ‘Thank you’ is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding.”(26)

Thank you, and congratulations.

(1-Agatha Christie. 2-Thornton Wilder. 3-Robert Frost. 4-Confucius. 5-Arthur Ashe. 6-Mark Twain. 7-Henry David Thoreau. 8-E.E. Cummings. 9-Eleanor Roosevelt. 10-Mark Twain. 11-Bob Marley. 12-John Wooden. 13-Rudyard Kipling. 14-Rabindranath Tagore. 15-Ralph Waldo Emerson. 16-John F. Kennedy. 17-Wayne Bryan. 18-H. Jackson Brown. 19-John Steinbeck. 20-John Wooden. 21-Winston Churchill. 22-Maya Angelou. 23-Dalai Lama. 24-Emily Dickinson. 25-Edward Koch. 26-Alice Walker.

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Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

“Today Is The Only Day”

June 1, 2019 by Woody

Live Today, Not in the Past or Future

“Make each day your masterpiece” merits all the yellows in my rainbow of favorite John Wooden maxims, but it is a Woodenism in a neighboring shade of green, “Today is the only day – yesterday is gone,” that is on my mind at the moment.

Two months of todays past, I wrote a column about longtime Thousand Oaks resident Bob Fitch and his love of typewriters. More specifically, about how having learned to type in a high school class benefited him in the military in the 1950s.

Two weeks of todays after “Typing Out A Memorable Story” ran in this space, I received an email bearing a rainbow-eclipsing storm cloud. It was from Bob’s son, Dave, who wrote:

“Some sad news to share with you – my dad recently was checked into Los Robles Hospital. They determined his respiratory issues were due to a failing heart valve that had been replaced 10 years ago.

“Dad passed away on Monday. We were with him and he passed away peacefully. We are comforted and assured by God’s word, knowing he is in a far better place now. We had a lot of fun with him and we will miss him. Thanks for being a part of his life!”

After signing off, Dave added a kind postscript: “Oh, BTW – he did get to see your article and enjoyed it!”

By coincidence, serendipity, or perhaps fate, a symbiotic email arrived the very same day. This one was from my daughter, forwarding a blog of one of her favorite writers, Alexandra Franzen.

“My younger sister Olivia, my dad, and I all went out for dinner in New York City,” Franzen began. “I live in Hawaii (mostly) these days. Miss O is based in Colorado. Dad’s in California. It’s unusual that we’re together in the same location. I wanted to make the most of this rare, precious moment.”

A few paragraphs later: “I listened to my dad’s stories. I nodded when my sister spoke. I smiled when it was appropriate to smile. I politely thanked the waiter for each item. But, to be honest, I wasn’t completely in the room. My mind was only halfway present.”

After sharing a laundry list of her distractions, Franzen shared an epiphany moment: “While collecting our coats at the exit, the restaurant hostess smiled at me and said, ‘It’s wonderful that you got to have dinner with your dad tonight.’

“ ‘Yeah, uh huh, for sure,’ I said, or something to that effect. Only half-listening. In a thick fog. Rummaging around in my bag for a stick of gum.

“ ‘My dad died last year,’ the hostess added, very quietly. Her voice was so soft, nearly drowned out by the din of the bustling restaurant. ‘I miss him every day.’

“I looked up, meeting her eyes. ‘I’m so sorry.’

“I stepped outside and immediately linked elbows with my dad, holding him very, very close as we walked arm in arm back to the hotel. Sometimes, I fall asleep in the middle of my own life. Until something, or someone, reminds me to wake up.”

Franzen concluded with this sagacious advice: “If there’s something you want to do, do it now. If there’s something you want to say, say it now. If you’re reading this on a phone in your bed, put down your device and hold your partner instead. The emails can wait. One day, all of this ends. But for now, here we are. And today is not over yet.”

In other words, in John Wooden’s timeless words, “There is only today – yesterday is gone.”

And tomorrow is not promised.

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Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

Orange In My Rainbow Is For Joey

May 25, 2019 by Woody

Orange In My Rainbow Is For Joey

The greatest overworked word in the English language is “greatest.” Well, unless it is “best.” Or, perhaps, “favorite.”

The problem with this trio is these opinions tend to shift as surely as ocean sands. One day, for example, I might consider Rembrandt the greatest painter ever; the next day, van Gogh is the best of all time; yet another day, Michelangelo or Picasso or even Basquiat and his graffiti-inspired art is my favorite.

Best, favorite, greatest too often miss the mark. Better to imagine a rainbow and give the human gods each a color. Or, in the case above, a hue on the palette.

Likewise with authors. Instead of bestowing the crown of Favorite or Greatest or Best, far better to imagine a single shelf in a bookcase with room enough only for a narrow rainbow of volumes. Steinbeck, Hemingway, Twain and Shakespeare comprise my personal Mount Rushmore, but there is top-self space for Woolf, Austen, Angelou and Rowling as well.

Oh, yes, between the honorary bookends I have also inserted a few friendly hues largely unique to my elite shelf: Ken McAlpine, Jeff McElroy, Roger Thompson and, naturally, Dallas Woodburn.

That’s the beauty of my rainbow philosophy: there are always enough colors to satisfy the eye of each beholder. Furthermore, giving Bach a golden hue does not diminish Beethoven’s bright red, which in turn does not raise him above Mozart’s forest green.

Joey Ramirez, left, and Coach Phil Mathews, right.

Ask me to name my favorite/greatest/best athlete from my quarter century as a sports columnist and I would be flummoxed. My personal rainbow, however, comes into ready focus – albeit with all shades of blue going to my idol and mentor, John Wooden.

Magic Johnson, who I wrote more columns about during my span than any other athlete, gets the hue of Lakers gold. Arnold Palmer, who like Johnson always treated me like I wrote for the New York Times rather than a local paper, gets a Masters-jacket green shade.

And bright orange – the Ventura College Pirates’ shade – in my rainbow goes to Joey Ramirez. This selection will come as a surprise only to those who never watched No. 13 in stalwartly action. Under Joey’s leadership as star point guard during the 1992-93 and 1993-94 seasons, the Pirates had a combined record of 73-5 and played in back-to-back state championship games.

Joey exemplified Coach Phil Mathew’s “We Play Hard” motto. Not only did the Santa Paula native get floor burns diving for loose balls, he gave the hardwood skin-and-bone burns. And yet it wasn’t Joey’s fierceness and winning ways that painted him into my rainbow – it was his grace and character in defeat.

Especially, I remember the second state championship game loss by two points on a night the basket had a lid on it whenever Joey shot the ball. Listed on the roster at 5-foot-10, Joey stood tall as a center afterward despite his heartbreak.

Here’s some more that puts Joey in my rainbow: he was a standout college student; became a high school math teacher; and now, as head coach of the VC men’s basketball team, stresses education to his players. It is not lip service: Joey and his lovely wife Olivia’s three sons – Andrew, Marcos and Eric – are straight-A students on top of being exceptional athletes.

One more reason: hard as a gemstone externally, inside Joey can be a softie. This was on display last Sunday evening when he was inducted into the Ventura College Athletics Hall of Fame.

Truth is, Joey wasn’t the only one in attendance who teared up during his splendid acceptance speech – my rainbow briefly turned blurry.

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

Great effort spreading “Goodness”

May 18, 2019 by Woody

Great effort spreading “Goodness”

At first blush, it would seem impossible to answer with authority who was the biggest winner at the recently concluded 119th annual Ojai Tennis Tournament. After all, new champions in 25 different divisions joined a legendary roll call that includes Jack Kramer and Arthur Ashe, Billie Jean King and Tracy Austin, and five-time doubles champs Mike and Bob Bryan.

Upon further consideration, however, the biggest winners were a few draw sheets worth of kids who didn’t even play in the prestigious tournament. Specifically, disadvantaged youth from local programs taught by Walter Moody, as well as the Santa Paula High girls tennis team and Pacifica High’s boys team.

Judging from their smiles you would think each young player had just won match point upon receiving top-flight rackets, apparel and new shoes, and tennis balls.

The biggest champion of all, therefore, was Rhiannon Potkey. Her official nonprofit organization Goods4Greatness made the grateful smiles happen by collecting equipment donations from college teams and junior players at The Ojai.

If you are a local sports fan, Rhiannon’s name may ring familiar. She was a gifted sportswriter at The Star beginning as a night intern straight from high school graduation in 1998; as a stringer while attending UC Santa Barbara; and eventually joined the staff fulltime. In 2016, Rhi departed for stints at The Salt Lake Tribune and Knoxville News-Sentinel.

A year ago, Rhi took a brave leap from newspapers to freelance in order to have time to start Goods4Greatness.

“I reached a point,” the 39-year-old Knoxville resident notes, “where I needed to make a decision because my passion is helping others. I wanted to start this (G4G) for years and years, but needed to get to a point in my life and career when I could make the time to do it.”

Growing up, sports were Rhi’s life. She played on whichever club was in season, tennis year-round, and as a point guard at Ventura High made the All-County Team.

“I loved assisting others,” Rhi shares, an attitude that extended off the hardwood and planted the seeds for Goods4Greatness. “Seeing teammates who rarely could afford equipment, I always wanted to give them my ‘old’ stuff that was still in good condition.

“Then as I began reporting, I covered high schools from drastically different socioeconomic areas and wondered why I couldn’t just take some of the richer program’s equipment and bring it down to the less fortunate programs. I knew there was a void that needed to be filled.”

Rhi has made it her mission to help fill the void with all manner of sports equipment.

Some of the gear donated at The Ojai Tournament this year.

“I want every kid to get the experience I received without economics preventing them from playing,” she allows. “Every time I see a kid’s face light up is meaningful.”

An especially meaningful example: “I had a single mom start to cry because she wasn’t going to be able to afford to have her son play baseball, but the bat, helmet, pants and cleats I gave them enabled her to afford the registration fee.”

John McEnroe never threw as many tennis rackets in anger as players at The Ojai happily tossed to Rhi and the kids Goods4Greatness serves. Other benefactors made financial contributions, including a check from the Bryan Brothers so generous it gave Rhi “tears of joy.”

(Financial donations can be made at www.Goods4Greatness.org or checks payable to “Goods4Greatness” mailed to 312 Chestnut Oak Drive, Knoxville TN 37909.)

“There’s no better role models on and off the court in professional sports than the Bryans,” Rhiannon says of Mike and Bob. Rhi likewise is an exemplar of great goodness.

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

What is a Mom? Book Illustrates Poetically

May 12, 2019 by Woody

What is a Mom? Book Illustrates Poetically

With Mother’s Day arriving tomorrow, my 26th without my own mom, the poetic words of Maya Angelou again come to mind: “To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow.”

Expand Angelou’s 23-word quote into 62 oversized pages of poems, and rainbow artwork, and you have the newly published book “What is a Woman?” which could instead be titled “What is a Mother?” Indeed, this book was birthed by a high school club/nonprofit organization “Together to Empower” and is there a greater role any mom plays than to empower her children?

Club founder Michelle Qin, a Stanford-bound a senior at Dos Pueblos High who last year was named “1 of America’s Top 10 Youth Volunteers”, recently sent me a copy signed by 40 of its contributing writers and artists. Unsolicited books in my mailbox normally go directly into a box earmarked for The Ventura Friends of the Library, but this one caught my eye – and then captured heart.

“What a book!” is my reaction after perusing “What is a Woman?” From the front cover featuring the vibrant painting titled “Crescendo” by Cheryl Braganza to the back cover with her joyous-and-powerful painting “Women of the World Unite”, the pages between are meant to be viewed and read and savored.

To be sure, the combination of emotional poetry and short essays with amazing artwork makes “What is a Woman?” special. It is like having an art museum’s exclusive exhibit right at your fingertips.

The artwork is captivating: color paintings to black-and-white photos, realism to abstract. Furthermore, the art – and writing, as well – is arranged with deep thought, thus affording a powerful effect. For example, Lea Basile-Lazarus’s “The Silent Voice” showing a white silhouette of a woman with her fist raised in a crowd appears beside Jennifer Casselberry’s vivid portrait titled “Protest” of a solo woman with her arm also lifted high.

Another taste: Photographs of sculptures titled “Lotus” and “Tree” by Francine Kirsch, featuring two woman in yoga poses, appear next to the portrait “Dancer: Strong is the New Pretty” by Kate T. Parker.

Poetry highlights this strength-and-beauty theme on other pages, such as a work from Noël Russel that begins, “I am here because my mother dreamed that I could be” and, after describing an immigrant parent’s difficult life, concludes: “I am here because of a dreamer.”

On the eve of Mother’s Day, the painting “Daughter of August” by Laura Gonzalez on the closing page seems especially poignant. It features, faceless from behind so as to be a universal pairing, a young girl walking hand-in-hand with her mother through a long-grassed field. My interpretation: the girl is being empowered with each step to eventually pursue her dreams beyond the white fence in the distance.

The daughter could as well be a son.

“We are a movement comprised of girls and boys,” Michelle emphasizes, noting there are now club chapters on the east coast and in Vancouver. “Although our main goal is to empower girls, it is equally important to us to emphasize that we all have the power to make a change. After all, our world will only get stronger with girls and boys in the lead, together. That’s why we are called Together to Empower.”

Through the words and paintbrushes, sculptures and camera lenses, eyes and voices of empowered girls in elementary school through women of international fame, this book (available at www.togethertoempower.org) teaches us about true beauty, true strength, true feminism.

“What is a Woman?” answers its own question beautifully as a rainbow.

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

Part 2: Twain and Muir’s Meeting

May 4, 2019 by Woody

Part 2: Twain and Muir’s Meeting

Except for a story believed to be apocryphal, Mark Twain and John Muir, separated by only three years in age, never met. The two famous writers did, however, cross paths astrologically on April 21 – Muir born on the date in 1838 and Twain dying on it in 1910.

Following is Part 2 of how I imagine their conversation, using their own written words, might have gone had they shared a campfire in Yosemite.

Muir: “A slight sprinkle of rain – large drops far apart, falling with hearty pat and plash on leaves and stones and into the mouths of the flowers.”

Twain: “A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”

Muir, laughing: “Wash your spirit clean. Keep close to Nature’s heart – and break clear away, once in awhile, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Between every two pine trees there is a door leading to a new way of life.”

Twain: “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

Muir: “As age comes on, one source of enjoyment after another is closed, but nature’s sources never fail.”

Twain: “Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher.”

Muir: “Any fool can destroy trees. They cannot run away.”

Twain: “If all the fools in this world should die, lordly God how lonely I should be.”

Muir: “Most people are on the world, not in it. In every walk with Nature one receives far more than he seeks.”

Twain: “There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.”

Muir: “I only went out for a walk, and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.”

Twain: “Now, the true charm of pedestrianism does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking. The walking is good to time the movement of the tongue by, and to keep the blood and the brain stirred up and active; the scenery and the woodsy smells are good to bear in upon a man an unconscious and unobtrusive charm and solace to eye and soul and sense; but the supreme pleasure comes from the talk. It is no matter whether one talks wisdom or nonsense, the case is the same, the bulk of the enjoyment lies in the wagging of the gladsome jaw and the flapping of the sympathetic ear.”

Muir: “Only by going alone in silence, without baggage, can one truly get into the heart of the wilderness. All other travel is mere dust and hotels and baggage and chatter.”

Twain: “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.”

Muir: “Going to the mountains is going home.”

Twain: “There is nothing more satisfying than that sense of being completely ‘at home’ in your own skin.”

Muir: “The mountains are calling and I must go.”

Twain: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Muir: “The world is big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark.”

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

If Ever Twain And Muir Had Met

April 27, 2019April 28, 2019 by Woody

If Ever Twain And Muir Had Met

Sunday past, a special literary date passed by, as it does annually, once again as unnoticed by most people as a wildflower in the woods. John Muir was born in 1838 on April 21 and 72 years to the day later, in 1910, Mark Twain died.

Except for a story believed to be apocryphal of the two famous writers attending a dinner party hosted by Robert Underwood Johnson, a New York editor, there is no account of Twain and Muir having met. Below, using their own written words, is how I imagine the conversation might have gone had they shared a campfire in Yosemite.

Muir: “Another glorious day, the air as delicious to the lungs as nectar to the tongue.”

Twain: “Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.”

Muir: “One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.”

Twain: “The laws of Nature take precedence of all human laws. The purpose of all human laws is one – to defeat the laws of Nature.”

Muir: “God never made an ugly landscape. All that the sun shines on is beautiful, so long as it is wild.”

Twain: “Architects cannot teach nature anything.”

Muir: “Compared with the intense purity and cordiality and beauty of Nature, the most delicate refinements and cultures of civilization are gross barbarisms.”

Twain: “Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.”

Muir: “No synonym for God is so perfect as Beauty. Whether as seen carving the lines of the mountains with glaciers, or gathering matter into stars, or planning the movements of water, or gardening – still all is Beauty!”

Twain: “One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains.”

Muir: “Climb the mountains and get their good tidings, Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.”

Twain: “There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp; but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it.”

Muir: “One day’s exposure to mountains is better than a cartload of books. See how willingly Nature poses herself upon photographers’ plates. No earthly chemicals are so sensitive as those of the human soul.”

Twain: “Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

Muir: “Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul alike.”

Twain, bombastically: “When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.”

Muir: “Handle a book as a bee does a flower, extract its sweetness but do not damage it.”

Twain: “The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”

Muir: “The power of imagination makes us infinite.”

Twain: “You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”

Muir: “The snow is melting into music.”

Twain: “Ah, that shows you the power of music.”

Muir: “I had nothing to do but look and listen and join the trees in their hymns and prayers. In our best times everything turns into religion, all the world seems a church and the mountains altars.”

Twain: “I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”

The two wordsmiths’ conversation concludes next week in this space.

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

Friend in Deed is Friend Indeed

April 20, 2019 by Woody

For a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” use the PayPal link on my home page or mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

Friend in Deed is Friend Indeed

In an ironic turn of events, our microwave oven had its goose cooked the other day.

Finding a replacement of similar dimensions for the built-in spot proved to be a wild-goose chase. Four local stores, and an on-line search, all came up short – or, more accurately, came up too wide or too tall.

Unlike Goldilocks’ napping beds, none of the microwaves was “just right.” The best solution was to get a smaller model and add a shelf to position it suitably.

Alas, my last foray into woodworking was making a skateboard in eighth-grade shop class. I got at best a C-plus on the assignment – and a D-minus while on the skateboard.

Indeed, I’m a wordsmith, not a woodsmith (which isn’t a word, but should be). I can use a hammer and screwdriver and duct tape, but that’s about the extent of my This Old House-like skills. For me to invest in additional tools would make as much sense as buying surgical instruments. I’m handy only with my typing fingers.

Therefore, even for a simple shelf, I reached out for help. My first thought was to ask my friend, Mike Pederson, because he has the skills of Noah and MacGyver combined. I believe he fully remodeled his kitchen during halftime of an NFL game. More recently, he started rebuilding his mother’s garage that burned down in the Thomas Fire and will probably complete it before I finish writing this column.

Mike with wheelchair athlete and friend Alvin.

The reason I didn’t ask Mike, however, is because I embarrassingly still owe him a couple pints at a local micro brewery in payment for the last fix-it job he did for me.

Instead, I asked my Facebook friends if anyone could help me out with a piece of plywood measuring 23-1/4 inches by 15 inches. I promised that All-Thumbs Me could sand and paint it.

Two days later, my posted request far from mind, I was out for my daily run at Kimball Community Park. Rounding a corner on my familiar loop, I spotted a familiar Paul Bunyan-esque figure ahead, then a familiar face, finally a familiar smile.

I stopped to say “hi” and Mike greeted me by revealing from behind his back a shelf. Not a slab of plywood cut to needed size, mind you, but rather a finely sanded shelf complete with decorative front rail. It is so handsome that no painting by me was required. My old woodshop teacher would have graded it “A-plus.”

John Wooden would have loved Mike because he “makes friendship a fine art.” Mike also creates a lot of such “art.” As example, Mike has twice escorted our mutual friend Alvin Matthews, a wheelchair athlete, in the Los Angeles Marathon.

“As busy as he is with his own life and family’s, he always seems to find time for me,” Alvin says, noting further that Mike frequently drives him to training outings and assists him in and out of his missile-like racing chair; researched a beach-access wheelchair; and has been by his side in the hospital. “He’s top-notch as a friend!”

Given Mike’s giving nature, it seems fully appropriate he was born on Christmas Day. To be sure, he brings to mind the poem “On Friendship” penned by Coach Wooden:

“At times when I am feeling low, / I hear from a friend and then

“My worries start to go away / And I am on the mend

“No matter what the doctors say – / And their studies never end

“The best cure of all, when spirits fall, / Is a kind word from a friend”

Or, in Mike’s case, a kind deed.

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden & Me Kickstarter Front Photo Check out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

WOODY WOODBURN

Writer, "Streaker" & Speaker

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