Tag Archives: Twain

Sharing a Collection of Last Lines

by Woody

A while back, while browsing a second-hand bookshop, specifically our local treasure Bank of Books – by the way, is any perfume more lovely than the musty-woodsy-vanilla-fresh-rain scent that wafts up from the open pages of an old book?—I came upon a copy of “Anna Karenina.”

I have long meant to tackle this classic tome by Mr. Tolstoy, long being the operative word for it is pushing 600 pages, and on this encounter I simply read the opening sentence—“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way”—and then flipped to the ending: “My life now, my whole life, regardless of all that may happen to me, every minute of it, is not only not meaningless, as it was before, but has the unquestionable meaning of the good which it is in my power to put into it!”

And so began my habit of wandering through bookstores and partaking of the first and last lines, or paragraphs, of novels—ones I have already read and also those I wish to one day do so in full.

Just for fun, and to give myself the day off from writing my own last line for this column, here are some endings I have jotted down in my collection…

From “Where the Wild Things Are,” the first book I remember checking out of the library as a kid, the last page reads: “and it was still hot.”

“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows”: “The scar had not pained Harry for 19 years. All was well.”

“The Catcher in the Rye”: “It’s funny. Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.”

“A Prayer for Owen Meany”: “Oh God—please give him back! I shall keep asking You.”

“Beloved” concludes powerfully and unforgettably with simply the novel’s title: “Beloved.”

Two more succinct endings are “I’ll pray, and then I’ll sleep” from “Gilead” and “Are there any questions?” from “The Handmaid’s Tale.”

“To Kill a Mockingbird” closes: “He turned out the light and went into Jem’s room. He would be there all night, and he would be there when Jem waked up in the morning.”

“The Great Gatsby” famously ends: “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

No title is needed to identify this couplet finale: “For never was a story of more woe / Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.”

From “The Road” comes this poetic prose: “In the deep glens where they lived all things were older than man and they hummed of mystery.”

“The Green Mile” ends: “We each owe a death, there are no exceptions, I know that, but sometimes, oh God, the Green Mile is so long.”

Death, the narrator of “The Book Thief,” concludes: “A LAST NOTE FROM YOUR NARRATOR. I am haunted by humans.”

“Adventures of Huckleberry Finn”: “I got to light out for the territory ahead of the rest, because Aunt Sally she’s going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can’t stand it. I been there before.”

“The Sun Also Rises”: “ ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Isn’t it pretty to think so?’ ”

“The Grapes of Wrath” closes with this indelible image: “She looked up across the barn, and her lips came together and smiled mysteriously.”

“Travels with Charley”: “And that’s how the traveler came home again.”

And in “brown girl dreaming” Jacqueline Woodson ends with this verse: “gather into one world / called You / where You decide / what each world / each story / and each ending / will finally be.”

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Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Devilish and Sweet Typewriter Tales

by Woody

Although it will go widely unrecognized, today is an important date in history for it was on June 23, 1868, that Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for the typewriter.           

Three years later, Mark Twain saw one of these newfangled machines in a store window, in Boston; in he walked and out he came having paid a whopping $125 – equivalent to about $3,000 today – for a Remington model.

It proved to be a love-hate relationship for at one point Twain insisted Remington, which originated the QWERTY keyboard layout, cease and desist mentioning him in its advertisements, writing: “Please do not use my name in any way. I don’t want people to know I own this curiosity-breeding little joker.”

Mr. Twain on my Olivetti Lettera 32 model favored by Cormac McCarthy.

Twain also claimed these new typing machines were “full of caprices, full of defects – devilish ones.”

And yet, according to literary scholars, Twain was the first author to submit a typewritten manuscript – “Life on the Mississippi” – to a publisher in 1883.

In honor of today being National Typewriter Day, I would like to share the story of another QWERTY machine, this one bought not brand new for a princely sum, but secondhand at a pawnshop for $50. Even back in 1963 that was bargain for a top-of-the-line Olivetti Lettera 32 portable model.

The purchaser was Cormac McCarthy, legendary author of “The Road” and “All The Pretty Horses” and “Blood Meridian” and a long shelf of other best-seller page-turners, who died earlier this month at age 89.

McCarthy banged away on the black keys of that blue-bodied typewriter for nearly a half-century until the Italian-made machine wore out beyond repair. No small wonder it finally became roadkill considering the Pulitzer Prize-winner estimated he had put about 5 million words on its odometer.

Here is where McCarthy’s typewriter story gets even better, in three ways.

One. Whereas Twain surely would have tried out the caprices, defects and devilishness of a computer, McCarthy remained true to Christopher Latham Sholes’ invention.

Two. McCarthy, despite his fame and riches, did not buy a typewriter restored to mint condition for the burgeoning collector’s market that now sees machines priced as high as MacBooks. Rather, a friend gave him a replacement, another blue Olivetti Lettera 32, for which he paid all of $11 and which McCarthy used for his next million words.

Three. In 2009, McCarthy, who wrote in an authentication letter, “I have typed on this typewriter every book I have written including three not yet published,” put his original Olivetti up for auction.

The pre-bid estimate of $20,000 proved wildly wrong as an anonymous collector paid an eye-popping $254,500 with the proceeds, in a rare happy ending for a McCarthy tale, going to a non-profit organization.

I am happy to say that the entire handful of typewriters I have accumulated cost well below $254,500. This includes a blue Olivetti Lettera 32 identical to McCarthy’s, albeit a 1969 model with about four million fewer words of wear on its typebars and no New York Times Best Sellers to its credit.

Like McCarthy’s replacement Lettera 32, mine was a gift, not from a friend but from my little sister a couple years ago. For writing notes and letters it has the most pleasant touch and action of all my typing machines.

Even so, I dare say it is not the sweetest typewriter I own. That honor goes to another one My Li’l Sis gave me last month for my birthday, a replica of a Hermes Baby used by John Steinbeck, or so it seems, as it is quite small…

…and made of gourmet chocolate.

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Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Rubicon is a Local Pearl

by Woody

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM: @woodywoodburn

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Pearl Shines Brightly

Under Stage Lights

From the Ventura Pier up to Two Trees and back down to the San Buenaventura Mission, we have more local treasures than could be strung on a necklace. One of these pearls, I was reminded last Saturday night, is The Rubicon Theatre Company.

“World-class artistry, small-town hospitality” is more than a slogan, it is true. At the Rubicon’s Will Call, no ID is required. In the intimate 185 seats, or the long lines at intermission for the two small restrooms, you are likely to see a friend, neighbor or co-worker.

As for big-time artistry, consider David Aron Damane, who recently played Jim in the musical “Big River: The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.” His resume is nearly as long as the mighty Mississippi.

(While “Big River” has now run its course at the Rubicon, “Forever Plaid: Plaid Tidings” followed by “Forever Motown” are next up.)

A take-a-deep-breath summary of Damane’s credits features a handful of Broadway plays, including “The Book of Mormon” and “Riverdance; national tours of “The Color Purple” and “The Who’s Tommy” among many others; performing in Shakespeare’s “Macbeth” and “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”; and guest-starring on enough hit TV shows to fill up a DVR’s memory.

Exceptional as Damane is, his performing experience is not the exception for the professional talent the Rubicon regularly attracts. Importantly, the Rubicon also nurtures emerging local talent. For example, Cheyenne Green, who played a slave (and was also understudy for Alice and Alice’s daughter) in her Rubicon debut in “Big River”, was raised in Simi Valley.

Furthermore, as a community pearl, the Rubicon further nurtures the performing arts with after-school, weekend and summer programs for kids as young as age 5. Too, it offers opportunities for students to experience everything from playwriting and acting to directing and design.

Among the big-time artistry the Rubicon has offered in its 21 years to date, I have been fortunate to see more than a dozen of its plays. These memorably include “Our Town” by Thornton Wilder, “The Diary of Anne Frank” and Arthur Miller’s “All My Sons.” I dare say “Big River” is my favorite. More accurately, it affected me the most, and isn’t that the highest calling of art?

Written 136 years ago, the themes of “Big River” – prejudice, injustice, cruelty, heartbreak – remain timeless and relevant, now perhaps as greatly as ever. Critically, the decision was made by the Rubicon to keep in the ugliest language from Twain’s masterpiece. These dark words and moments were powerfully enlightening.

As I mentioned, Damane’s performance was masterful. The handful of times I have read “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” my mind’s eye saw Jim as slim and rawboned. On my next future rereading, however, I will envision the runaway slave in the mold of a football linebacker because Damane appears to have stepped onstage straight from an NFL field. Indeed, Twain’s Jim, the Rubicon’s Jim, is now my Jim.

To see Jim under a stage spotlight, so near and so real, shackled in iron chains made my heart figuratively weep as reading the novel never has. Moreover, my eyes literally began to well up during the play’s scene where Jim shares with Huck the time his young daughter, Lizabeth, ignored his order to close an open door.

When Lizabeth disobeyed the repeated command, Jim slapped her hard in reprimand. Suddenly, a gust of wind slammed the door shut directly behind Lizabeth – yet she did not even flinch. Jim painfully realized that scarlet fever has left his daughter deaf.

As Jim wept with self-torment in the retelling, my tears flowed like a Big River.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Check out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

 

National Book Month In One Day

by Woody

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM: @woodywoodburn

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National Book Month

List In One Day

Well, this isn’t the first time I’ve been late to a party. October is National Book Month and a friend invited me to join a 31-day challenge. Below, in one day, is my full month of answers.

Had I replied to the prompts yesterday, there’s a good chance half my answers might be different; tomorrow, perhaps the other half would change. I hope you are inspired you to come up with your own list.

Day 1 – The Best Book You’ve Read This Year: Tie between “The Nickel Boys” by Colson Whitehead and “This Tender Land” by William Kent Krueger.

Day 2 – A Book That You’ve Read More than Three Times: “The Old Man and the Sea” by Ernest Hemingway.

Day 3 – Your Favorite Series: “The Famous Bedtime Story Books” by Thornton Burgess.

Day 4 – Favorite Book of Your Favorite Series: “The Adventures of Buster Bear.”

Day 5 – A Book That Makes You Happy: Most any Dr. Seuss book.

Day 6 – A Book That Makes You Sad: “Old Yeller” by Fred Gipson.

Day 7 – Most Underrated Book: “Sweet Tuesdays” by John Steinbeck.

Day 8 – Most Overrated Book: I don’t think a book can be overrated, but Ann Patchett’s new offering, “The Dutch House”, didn’t lived up to the hype for me.

Day 9 – A Book You Thought You Wouldn’t Like But Ended Up Loving: “Lincoln in the Bardo” by George Saunders.

Day 10 – Favorite Classic Book: “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” by some fella named Mark Twain.

Day 11 – A Book You Hated: Knowing the effort every writer puts into a book, my lips are sealed.

Day 12 – A Book You Used to Love But Don’t Anymore: My crushes all remain intact.

Day 13 – Your Favorite Writer: John Steinbeck is a close second behind my daughter Dallas Woodburn.

Day 14 – Book From Your Favorite Writer: “The Grapes of Wrath” by Steinbeck and “Woman, Running Late, In A Dress” by Woodburn.

Day 15 – Favorite Male Character: Atticus Finch (I have not read “Go Set a Watchman.”)

Day 16 – Favorite Female Character: Charlotte A. Cavatica.

Day 17 – Favorite Quote: “Isn’t it pretty to think so?” Final line of “The Son Also Rises” by Hemingway.

Day 18 – First “Chapter Book” You Can Remember Reading As A Child: “Charlotte’s Web.”

Day 19 – Favorite Book Turned Into A Movie (I’ll add the stipulation “good” movie): The Harry Potter series.

Day 20 – Book That Makes You Laugh Out Loud: “A Walk In The Woods” by Bill Bryson.

Day 21 – Favorite Book From Your Childhood: “Where the Wild Things Are” by Maurice Sendak.

Day 22 – Book You’re Currently Reading: “Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore” by Robin Sloan and halfway through, I’m loving it.

Day 23 – Your Guilty Pleasure: Anything by Robert Fulghum.

Day 24 – A Book You Wish More People Would Read: “Fog” by Ken McAlpine; “We Stood Upon Stars” by Roger W. Thompson; and “Wooden & Me” by me!

Day 25 – Favorite Book You Read In School: “To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee.

Day 26 – Favorite Autobiography: “They Call Me Coach” by John Wooden.

Day 27 – The Most Surprising Plot Twist or Ending: “Life of Pi” by Yann Martel.

Day 28 – Favorite Title: “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” by Judi Barrett.

Day 29 – A Book Few Have Heard Of That You Loved: “The Snow Goose” by Paul Gallico.

Day 30 – Book on the top of your To Read Next Pile: “The Goldfinch” by Donna Tartt.

Day 31 – Favorite Book: Impossible! But if I must try, a tie between Hemingway’s “The Old Man and the Sea” and “Travels with Charley” by Steinbeck.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Check out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

Part 2: Twain and Muir’s Meeting

by Woody

Part 2: Twain and Muir’s Meeting

Except for a story believed to be apocryphal, Mark Twain and John Muir, separated by only three years in age, never met. The two famous writers did, however, cross paths astrologically on April 21 – Muir born on the date in 1838 and Twain dying on it in 1910.

Following is Part 2 of how I imagine their conversation, using their own written words, might have gone had they shared a campfire in Yosemite.

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Muir: “A slight sprinkle of rain – large drops far apart, falling with hearty pat and plash on leaves and stones and into the mouths of the flowers.”

Twain: “A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”

Muir, laughing: “Wash your spirit clean. Keep close to Nature’s heart – and break clear away, once in awhile, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Between every two pine trees there is a door leading to a new way of life.”

Twain: “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

Muir: “As age comes on, one source of enjoyment after another is closed, but nature’s sources never fail.”

Twain: “Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher.”

Muir: “Any fool can destroy trees. They cannot run away.”

Twain: “If all the fools in this world should die, lordly God how lonely I should be.”

Muir: “Most people are on the world, not in it. In every walk with Nature one receives far more than he seeks.”

Twain: “There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.”

Muir: “I only went out for a walk, and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.”

Twain: “Now, the true charm of pedestrianism does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking. The walking is good to time the movement of the tongue by, and to keep the blood and the brain stirred up and active; the scenery and the woodsy smells are good to bear in upon a man an unconscious and unobtrusive charm and solace to eye and soul and sense; but the supreme pleasure comes from the talk. It is no matter whether one talks wisdom or nonsense, the case is the same, the bulk of the enjoyment lies in the wagging of the gladsome jaw and the flapping of the sympathetic ear.”

Muir: “Only by going alone in silence, without baggage, can one truly get into the heart of the wilderness. All other travel is mere dust and hotels and baggage and chatter.”

Twain: “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.”

Muir: “Going to the mountains is going home.”

Twain: “There is nothing more satisfying than that sense of being completely ‘at home’ in your own skin.”

Muir: “The mountains are calling and I must go.”

Twain: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Muir: “The world is big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark.”

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   Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at woodywoodburn. His books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Check out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

If Ever Twain And Muir Had Met

by Woody

If Ever Twain And Muir Had Met

Sunday past, a special literary date passed by, as it does annually, once again as unnoticed by most people as a wildflower in the woods. John Muir was born in 1838 on April 21 and 72 years to the day later, in 1910, Mark Twain died.

Except for a story believed to be apocryphal of the two famous writers attending a dinner party hosted by Robert Underwood Johnson, a New York editor, there is no account of Twain and Muir having met. Below, using their own written words, is how I imagine the conversation might have gone had they shared a campfire in Yosemite.

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Muir: “Another glorious day, the air as delicious to the lungs as nectar to the tongue.”

Twain: “Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.”

Muir: “One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.”

Twain: “The laws of Nature take precedence of all human laws. The purpose of all human laws is one – to defeat the laws of Nature.”

Muir: “God never made an ugly landscape. All that the sun shines on is beautiful, so long as it is wild.”

Twain: “Architects cannot teach nature anything.”

Muir: “Compared with the intense purity and cordiality and beauty of Nature, the most delicate refinements and cultures of civilization are gross barbarisms.”

Twain: “Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.”

Muir: “No synonym for God is so perfect as Beauty. Whether as seen carving the lines of the mountains with glaciers, or gathering matter into stars, or planning the movements of water, or gardening – still all is Beauty!”

Twain: “One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains.”

Muir: “Climb the mountains and get their good tidings, Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.”

Twain: “There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp; but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it.”

Muir: “One day’s exposure to mountains is better than a cartload of books. See how willingly Nature poses herself upon photographers’ plates. No earthly chemicals are so sensitive as those of the human soul.”

Twain: “Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

Muir: “Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul alike.”

Twain, bombastically: “When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.”

Muir: “Handle a book as a bee does a flower, extract its sweetness but do not damage it.”

Twain: “The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”

Muir: “The power of imagination makes us infinite.”

Twain: “You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”

Muir: “The snow is melting into music.”

Twain: “Ah, that shows you the power of music.”

Muir: “I had nothing to do but look and listen and join the trees in their hymns and prayers. In our best times everything turns into religion, all the world seems a church and the mountains altars.”

Twain: “I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”

The two wordsmiths’ conversation concludes next week in this space.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Check out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

Advice: Chase Butterflies

by Woody

STRAW_CoverWoody’s new book STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter is available for Pre-Order HERE NOW! In time for the holidays!

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My Your Heart Go Aflutter in New Year

Chase butterflies.

When asked recently to write a brief essay on the topic of “A Letter Of Advice To My 21-Year-Old Self,” that was my answer in a nutshell. Chase butterflies.

I will soon explain more fully.1butterfly

But first let me say that chasing butterflies also seems timely advice, for anyone of any age, as we begin our 2016 journey around the sun.

Even though spring is yet a far ways off, the turning of the calendar pages from the old year to the new always brings to my mind a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. The caterpillar’s past has been shed and left behind; the world is anew and bright and full of promise.

Moreover, most butterflies emerge in the morning – again, the image of a new year’s fresh beginning. Indeed, New Year resolutions are goals for a personal metamorphosis of sorts.

But my advice to chase butterflies is more than metaphorical.

Remember in your youth when you raced after Monarchs with a butterfly net? There are few images of girlhood or boyhood more carefree.

Perhaps you did not even catch any butterflies. That didn’t even matter because the joy was in the running, in the sport of it, in the zig-zagging through a field until you were out of breath – the breathlessness, in part, from laughing at your “failure” to catch the elusive fluttering prey.

Lesson from the child: when is the last time as an adult you didn’t let “failure” get you down and instead happily laughed it off?

Yes, we would all do well to pursue our adult passions with this same sense of joy and play as we did racing barefooted in the grass with a cheesecloth net-on-a-stick in our hands.

Chasing butterflies also means embracing things that scare you – things that make your stomach flutter with nervousness.

As I wrote in that letter to my 21-year-old college self: “Remember the swarm of butterflies doing cartwheels in your stomach the first time you asked out that gorgeous girl you are now dating? Spoiler alert, Woody, that works out marvelously even 34 years later!”

The butterflies of trying new things and taking chances should not be avoided. The riskier thing, truly, is to remain inside a safe cocoon. As the Roman poet Virgil noted, “Fortune favors the bold.”

Fortune favors butterfly chasers, I say.

Or as Mark Twain so wisely put it: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

And, he might have well added, do things that make the butterflies in your belly dance.

Eleanor Roosevelt knew this, famously advising: “Do one thing every day that scares you.”1Bold

If the word “scares” scares you, keep in mind that “frightening” is a close cousin of “exciting.” So when a new challenge or unchartered adventure or out-of-your-comfort-zone opportunity gives you butterflies, run (BEGINITAL)towards(ENDITAL) it not from it!

Throw off your bowlines and learn a new language. Take guitar lessons. Or golf lessons. Enroll in a painting class. Sign up for volunteer work.

Train for a marathon. Learn to surf. Climb Mount Whitney.

Start writing that novel you have long felt you had inside you. Ask someone on a date – or accept the invite.

Join Toastmasters and tackle your fear of public speaking. Tackle a career change from the safe job you have, but doesn’t excite you, to the one of your dreams.

Travel. Explore. Go sailing. Go for it!

I closed my letter to my younger self with John Wooden’s “7-Point Creed,” which I consider to be concise wisdom of great breadth and depth:

Be true to yourself.

Make each day your masterpiece.

Help others.

Drink deeply from good books.

Make friendship a fine art.

Build a shelter against a rainy day.

Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day.

And, I concluded, add this eighth point: Chase butterflies.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden&Me_cover_PRCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

 

Column: New Mount Rushmores

by Woody

We’re Going To Need More Granite

 

Eighty years ago the sculpture on steroids known as Mount Rushmore had the face of its first rock star dedicated in ceremony. Three years later in 1936 Thomas Jefferson joined George Washington followed by Abraham Lincoln’s face in 1937. Lastly, in 1939, Theodore Roosevelt’s spectacled countenance completed the famous presidential quartet.

 

RushmoreIn honor of the 75th anniversary, I thought it would be fun to consider some other Mount Rushmores. Certainly you will not agree with all – or perhaps even many – of my suggestions, but that’s part of the fun.

 

Likely, one’s own age and biases will blur their vision.

 

And, hopefully, good-natured arguments will ensue which is fine because these are not written in stone – oh, wait, yes they are!

 

Let’s put the boxing gloves on and begin.

 

The Mount Rushmore of Boxing – Jack Johnson, Joe Louis, Muhammad Ali and Rocky Balboa.

 

The Mount Rushmore of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Models – Surely dating myself, I’ll go with chiseling in granite these – um – busts: Cheryl Tiegs, Kathy Ireland, Elle Macpherson and Christie Brinkley.

 

The Mount Rushmore of American Writers (Male) – Hemingway, Twain, Steinbeck and, since this is my list, Jim Murray.

 

The Mount Rushmore of Writers (Female) – Emily Dickinson, Harper Lee (I know, I know, she only wrote one book but “To Kill A Mockingbird” is THAT great!), J.K. Rowling (conversely for her series of books and their impact on young readers), and Maya Angelou (for her voice aloud as well as on the written page).

 

The Mount Rushmore of Athletic Shoes – PF Flyers, Chuck Taylor Converse High-Tops, Adidas Superstars and Nike Air Jordans.

 

The Mount Rushmore of Stadiums – Since there are far more great stadiums than great presidents, I’m breaking this into categories:

 

Baseball – Yankee Stadium, Fenway Park, Dodger Stadium and (sorry Wrigley Field) the tiny Field of Dreams.

 

Football/Track – The Colosseum (in Rome),The Coliseum (Los Angeles Memorial, host of two Olympics and two Super Bowls including the first), The Rose Bowl (framed by the San Gabriel Mountains) and (sorry Lambeau Stadium, Notre Dame Stadium, Ohio Stadium, Soldier Field and others) The Astrodome (for good reason called in 1965 “The Eighth Wonder of the World”).

 

            Arenas – The original Madison Square Garden, the original Boston Garden, The “Fabulous” Forum and Pauley Pavilion because championship banners matter.

 

The Mount Rushmore of Cold Cereals – Corn Flakes, Rice Krispies, Raisin Bran and Wheaties.

 

My Personal Boyhood Mount Rushmore of Sugar For Breakfast – Froot Loops, Super Sugar Crisp, Alpha-Bits and Tony The Tiger’s “They’re Grrreat!” Frosted Flakes.

 

The Mount Rushmore of Candy Bars – Hershey, Milky Way, Snickers and 3 Musketeers.

 

The Mount Rushmore of Basketball – James Naismith (The Inventor), John Wooden (The Wizard), Phil Jackson (The Zen Master) and Jerry West (The NBA’s Logo and thus represents all the hardwood greats).

 

The Mount Rushmore of Quarterbacks – Johnny Unitas, Otto Graham (seven pro championships in 10 title games in his 10-year-career), Joe Montana and I’ll have to get back to you on the fourth.

 

The Mount Rushmore of Tennis (Men) – Remember this is my monument: Rod Laver, Bjorn Borg, and Mike and Bob Bryan (unlike the greatest singles player in history, there is no debate over the greatest doubles tandem ever).

 

The Mount Rushmore of Tennis (Women) – Billie Jean King, Chris Evert, Martina Navratilova and Steffi Graf.

 

The Mount Rushmore of Superheroes (Comics) – Batman, Superman, (Comics), Spider-Man and (my monument) Mighty Mouse.

 

The Mount Rushmore of Superheroes (Film) – John Wayne (almost every role), James Bond, Atticus Finch and James Bailey.

 

The Mount Rushmore of Female Vocalists – Aretha Franklin, Ella Fitzgerald, Janis Joplin and Whitney Houston.

 

The Mount Rushmore of Male Vocalists – I’m not even going to try.

 

The Mount Rushmore of Movies – Impossible, but here goes: The Jazz Singer (first talkie), Casablanca (first on many people’s list), Star Wars (hey, its my list) and just to make my Pops happy, his boyhood version of Star Wars and all-time favorite movie to this day, The Adventures of Robin Hood starring Errol Flynn and Olivia de Havilland.

 

The Mount Rushmore of Rock ’n’ Roll – In another impossible category, I choose to have George, Thomas, Abe and Teddy joined by John, Paul, George and Ringo.

 

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

 

Check out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”