“Today Is The Only Day”

*

Live Today, Not in the Past or Future

            “Make each day your masterpiece” merits all the yellows in my rainbow of favorite John Wooden maxims, but it is a Woodenism in a neighboring shade of green, “Today is the only day – yesterday is gone,” that is on my mind at the moment.

Two months of todays past, I wrote a column about longtime Thousand Oaks resident Bob Fitch and his love of typewriters. More specifically, about how having learned to type in a high school class benefited him in the military in the 1950s.

Two weeks of todays after “Typing Out A Memorable Story” ran in this space, I received an email bearing a rainbow-eclipsing storm cloud. It was from Bob’s son, Dave, who wrote:

“Some sad news to share with you – my dad recently was checked into Los Robles Hospital. They determined his respiratory issues were due to a failing heart valve that had been replaced 10 years ago.

“Dad passed away on Monday. We were with him and he passed away peacefully. We are comforted and assured by God’s word, knowing he is in a far better place now. We had a lot of fun with him and we will miss him. Thanks for being a part of his life!”

After signing off, Dave added a kind postscript: “Oh, BTW – he did get to see your article and enjoyed it!”

By coincidence, serendipity, or perhaps fate, a symbiotic email arrived the very same day. This one was from my daughter, forwarding a blog of one of her favorite writers, Alexandra Franzen.

“My younger sister Olivia, my dad, and I all went out for dinner in New York City,” Franzen began. “I live in Hawaii (mostly) these days. Miss O is based in Colorado. Dad’s in California. It’s unusual that we’re together in the same location. I wanted to make the most of this rare, precious moment.”

A few paragraphs later: “I listened to my dad’s stories. I nodded when my sister spoke. I smiled when it was appropriate to smile. I politely thanked the waiter for each item. But, to be honest, I wasn’t completely in the room. My mind was only halfway present.”

After sharing a laundry list of her distractions, Franzen shared an epiphany moment: “While collecting our coats at the exit, the restaurant hostess smiled at me and said, ‘It’s wonderful that you got to have dinner with your dad tonight.’

“ ‘Yeah, uh huh, for sure,’ I said, or something to that effect. Only half-listening. In a thick fog. Rummaging around in my bag for a stick of gum.

“ ‘My dad died last year,’ the hostess added, very quietly. Her voice was so soft, nearly drowned out by the din of the bustling restaurant. ‘I miss him every day.’

“I looked up, meeting her eyes. ‘I’m so sorry.’

“I stepped outside and immediately linked elbows with my dad, holding him very, very close as we walked arm in arm back to the hotel. Sometimes, I fall asleep in the middle of my own life. Until something, or someone, reminds me to wake up.”

Franzen concluded with this sagacious advice: “If there’s something you want to do, do it now. If there’s something you want to say, say it now. If you’re reading this on a phone in your bed, put down your device and hold your partner instead. The emails can wait. One day, all of this ends. But for now, here we are. And today is not over yet.”

In other words, in John Wooden’s timeless words, “There is only today – yesterday is gone.”

And tomorrow is not promised.

*   *   *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at woodywoodburn. His books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Check out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

 

“Second Scoreboard” Finishes First

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400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

“Second Scoreboard” Finishes First

Chuck Thomas, my former colleague and mentor, believed in taking a day off now and again and using someone else’s words to fill his column.

And so I do today, with an abridged version of a recent school assembly talk given by Thacher’s Athletic Director Pete Fagan. His wisdom on “The Second Scoreboard” echoes the teachings of another late mentor of mine, Coach John Wooden, and seems invaluable to one and all, on the court or off, as we travel through 2019.

*

“Hello and welcome back,” Fagan began.

“Before we left for vacation, we were entertained with a fun basketball game. Even though the boys didn’t win the game, it didn’t mean we weren’t winners that night. We were winners of the more important scoreboard – The Second Scoreboard.

“We’ve used the phase ‘The Second Scoreboard’ for many years on this campus. For the new people, this might be a new term to you. So what does it mean?

“On the surface, we kind of all know what it means – it implies that we worked hard to win, but didn’t. And regardless of the outcome of the games, we feel good about our performance. But there is more to The Second Scoreboard than just ‘trying your best.’

“The first scoreboard is what it implies: the final score of each contest, the simple outcome of either winning or losing.

“The Second Scoreboard is a different and more important measure of our success. Here’s how we win on The Second Scoreboard . . .

“Preparation. How you practice and prepare is a measure of The Second Scoreboard. Scoring points on The Second Scoreboard means intentness in your practice, giving it your all, recognizing and correcting your mistakes and listening to your teammates and coaches. There will be many people more talented than you, but there is no excuse for someone to work harder than you.

“The Second Scoreboard means you are practicing and playing with integrity. When you win, you do it with humility and when you lose, you lose with dignity. You play the game the way it is supposed to be played: with honor for yourself, your school, and your opponents. You hold fast to your principles and beliefs.

“Winning on The Second Scoreboard means you have confidence. You believe in yourself. It is the knowledge that your preparation is fully complete and that you are ready for competition. Your confidence is what happens when you’ve done the hard work that entitles you to succeed. Each time you play and face adversity, you gain strength, courage and confidence.

“The Second Scoreboard means you are resilient and determined. You bounce back and focus after failures and letdowns. You bring your best effort to the next play, practice, and contest. You are determined to do your absolute best, even on the lowest, most frustrating of days.

“The Second Scoreboard means cooperation, enthusiasm, initiative, loyalty, friendship, respect, commitment and team spirit.

“The Second Scoreboard is a measure of your character.

“And lastly, The Second Scoreboard means you are respectful. You act in a way that demonstrates appreciation of the game. You take time to appreciate your surroundings and the chance you have been given to participate. You are respectful to yourself, your teammates, coaches, opponents, officials and fans. You are a sportsman or sportswomen of the highest standard with no compromise.

Fittingly, Fagan concluded his talk by paraphrasing Wooden’s personal definition of success: “And focus with the peace of mind you will obtain through the self-satisfaction in knowing you made the best effort you are capable of.”

The Second Scoreboard is first-rate.

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden & Me Kickstarter Front PhotoCheck out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

 

Thoughts on This and That

STRAW_CoverWoody’s new book STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter is available for Pre-Order HERE NOW!

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This and That on a Lovely Morning

A smorgasbord served up in 700 words . . .

*

Jennifer Niven, author of the award-winning Young Adult novel “All The Bright Places,” believes “lovely” is a much-underused word.

I agree with my lovely friend.

*

In exchange for sharing some stories about John Wooden, which is always my great pleasure, I was recently treated to lunch by the Ventura MC Chapter of the P.E.O. Sisterhood, a service group that helps young women further their educations.

What made the afternoon especially lovely was the sisterhood itself, including three of my charming and vibrant tablemates who are ages 90, 92 and 93 – and make being a nonagenarian look like the new octogenarian.

All three still have their drivers licenses – one proudly shared she got a 100-percent on her most recent test – and can drive, although only the 92-year-old actually still does.

The very kind Aryls Tuttle

The very kind Aryls Tuttle

Arlys Tuttle, matriarch of the community treasure Tuttle family, gave me as kind an introduction as I think I have ever received, the loveliest part being when she said she saves my column each Saturday morning as her “breakfast dessert.”

I hope seeing her name here this morning is a lovely dollop of whipped cream for Arlys.

*

Speaking of Coach Wooden, his “7-Point Creed” is always worthy of sharing:

Be true to yourself.

Make each day your masterpiece.

Help others.

Drink deeply from good books.

Make friendship a fine art.

Build a shelter against a rainy day.

Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day.

*

I saw a post on Facebook that I think merits adding as an eighth point, echoing “Be true to yourself”:

“Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman – then always be Batman!”

*

Why do crunchy foods go stale and become soft while soft foods get stale and become crunchy?

*

Oh, boy, did I get out-haggled at a local farmers market the other day buying a bouquet of gorgeous sunflowers for my lovely wife.

1sunflowersI gave the lady, who I get flowers from fairly often, a $20-bill and she gave me back $15. However, I really did not think five bucks was a very fair price . . .

. . . so I handed her a $5-bill back. She looked confused. I smiled and said, “Keep it.”

She shook her head no: “They only cost five dollars.”

“Yes, but they’re so beautiful I want you to keep it,” I explained.

“That’s too much,” she replied and pushed the $5-bill back at me.

“OK,” I finally relented, but requested five singles as change.

This she did and I handed four of them back to her.

She smiled, kept one, and gave three of them back to me.

I gave her two back and tried to leave, but she forced one more back. And then, for my meager $2 tip total, she gave me a $10 hug.

Thinking about it as I write this, even after those sunflowers have lost their bloom, still brings a smile to my face.

I vow to redouble my haggling efforts with her next time!

*

This recently occurred to me: A good friend surprises you with a nice deed. A great and lovely friend does a nice deed that surprises you – until you think for a moment and realize you are not really surprised at all.

*

Like John Wooden’s “7-Point Creed,” this masterpiece quote from Albert Einstein seems worthy of sharing any day:

“Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: That we are here for the sake of others . . . for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day, I realize how much my outer and inner life is built upon the labors of people, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received.”

E=MC2 has been called elegant, but this wisdom is lovely.

*  *  *

Champagne for the Heart

 My new memoir WOODEN & ME is available here at Amazon

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Compliments Are Champagne for the Spirit

A short while ago, I wrote about a party for Laszlo Tabori in honor of history’s third four-minute mile he ran 60 years ago. The theme of that occasion, and my column, was exemplified by this old Irish proverb:

’Tis better to buy a small bouquet / And give to your friend this very day,

Than a bushel of roses white and red / To lay on his coffin after he’s dead.

1twaincomplimentWhile the anniversary party was a grand bouquet, I have personally witnessed how a single flower in the form of a few kind words can make a person feel as though champagne is flowing through his veins. Considering compliments cost nothing, it seems a shame we are oftentimes stingy dispensing them.

As my son puts it: “Giving compliments does a lot more good than taking out the trash, and should thus be done more than once a week.”

At the risk of appearing self-serving, I hope sharing a few compliments I have received recently will serve to inspire others to give their own friends, family, and even strangers, a verbal splash of champagne to lift some spirits before they next take out the trash.

*

Let me begin with the generous people who complimented me by responding to a request in this space a few weeks ago to sponsor sign-up fees, and buy new gift tennis rackets, for the USTA youth lessons program that began this week at Buena High School.

Led by a generous donation from Carolyn Hertel – who noted with her contribution, “Tennis is not only a sport for life, the people you meet are often friends forever” – readers served up more than $1,200 to give disadvantaged kids a better summer.

As program director Paul Olmsted told me: “Wow! With all the trouble in the world it is uplifting to know that there really are some generous people out there.”

*

Among of the nicest compliments I have received as a writer was when a man came up to me at a restaurant, pardoned himself for the interruption, and proceeded to show me one of my columns he keeps in his wallet. I have figuratively folded up the memory for my own safekeeping when I need a lift.

In a span of just a few days another reader came up to me at a “Wooden & Me” book signing and shared that she routinely displays my columns on her refrigerator; a teacher told me she occasionally reads and discusses my columns with her high school class; and a woman at a service group I was a guest speaker at showed me a thick folder of my columns she has clipped out, explaining through tears how my words have affected her life over the years.

As Paul Olmsted put it, “Wow!” Each encounter took only a brief moment from the giver, but I can assure you the good feelings in the receiver have been lasting.

*

Sometimes a first-rate compliment can be passed forward secondhand.

Larry Baratte, head swimming coach at Ventura College and a Ventura County Sports Hall of Fame inductee, attended the Southern California Sports Broadcasters Awards Luncheon as a guest two weeks past.

The event featured a Father’s Day theme and one of the speakers was John Wooden’s daughter, Nan. Larry had the opportunity to meet Nan and happened to mention me to her. This in itself was a kind thing to do, but even kinder was his reaching out to me afterwards with Nan’s immediate response: “Daddy loved Woody.”

Hearing those three words left me sitting speechless for five minutes, lost in memories with tears in my eyes but also champagne in my heart. Larry’s forwarded compliment not only made my day a masterpiece, to borrow one of my favorite Wooden-isms, it made my entire month a masterpiece.

Remarkably, despite my two-decade friendship with Coach and many visits in his home, I have never met Nan. This is something I must soon remedy. I need to find the right words, a small bouquet of a compliment, to put some bubbles of joy in her veins.

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

Help On Our Life Journeys

 My new memoir WOODEN & ME is available here at Amazon

*   *   *  

Having Help Along Our Journeys

In addition to offering kind words of congratulations, a number of people have requested I share in a column my induction speech from last Sunday’s Ventura County Sports Hall of Fame ceremony.

Their wish is my day off. Here, then, is an abridged version, picking up midway and including a brief tale I shared in this space a few years ago but warrants retelling.

My personal Hall of Famers -- Greg, Lisa, and Dallas.

My personal Hall of Famers — Greg, Lisa, and Dallas.

“Four score and seven years ago . . .” Oops, not my speech.

“Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth.” Oops again, wrong speech although the right sentiment.

OK, here we go:

I am confident finding the right words in a press box under deadline pressure, but even with lots of time to think about it, words escape me in adequately expressing the thrill of being here with fellow 2015 recipients George (Contreras), Jack (Kocur), Eric (Reynolds) and Roger (Evans) – and also joining the likes of Eric Turner, Mike Larrabee, Jamaal Wilkes, Mike and Bob Bryan, and on and on.

None of us being honored tonight, and this includes you remarkable high school and college student-athletes of the year, got here by ourselves. We all had help along the way from parents and siblings, friends and teachers, teammates and coaches, from spouses and an endless string of others.

An example I like to share is Roger Bannister breaking the 4-minute barrier in the mile. Running is a solitary sport – but success isn’t.

Bannister would not have made history without Chris Brasher pacing him through the first two laps and Chris Chataway sacrificing himself to lead Bannister through the third lap.

In life, we all have people blocking the headwind for us and pacing our way.

I’m here because as a kid I got hooked reading Jim Murray’s sports columns and in college had him answer a letter with advice and as a young sportswriter had my writing idol befriend me.

I’m here because of sports editors who believed in me; and copy editors who caught my mistakes and colleagues who inspired me; and athletes and coaches who gave me their time.

I’m here because of Wayne Bryan’s and Coach John Wooden’s mentorship.

And, of course, I’m here because of my wife, Lisa, and daughter, Dallas, and son, Greg.

Let me close with this brief story. It happened in a small farm town in Ohio where a young girl wandered away from home and got lost in the family’s wheat field that had grown taller than she was.

We all get lost in our own "wheat field challenges" and need a helping hand.

We all get lost in our own “wheat field challenges” and need a helping hand.

Her family called out her name and searched frantically, but could not find her. Soon neighbors joined in and eventually half the townspeople were running through the wheat field trying to find the little girl, but with no success. The field was simply too big.

Darkness fell and so did the temperatures. If not found soon, the little girl would surely die from the bitter cold.

Finally, the little girl’s father called everyone in from the wheat field. No, he was not giving.

Rather, he had an idea. He gathered all the volunteers and had them join hands to form a long human chain. They then walked together, side by side by side, and combed through the tall, amber waves of grain.

In this manner they did not miss a single area as they had when searching separately as individuals. Within ten minutes, the search party of nearly one hundred individuals, now united as one, found the little girl curled up on the ground – shivering, but still alive.

We are all lost at times and need others to help us overcome our own “wheat field challenges.”

Other times we must offer the helping hand.

And so to everyone who has linked hands to help me along my journey, to the Hall of Fame Committee and to all my loyal readers, I say to you what Coach Wooden once wrote to me:

“Although it is often used without true feeling, when it is used with sincerity, no collection of words can be more expressive or meaningful than the very simple word – Thanks!”

Thanks!

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

Column: A Stew of Thoughts

My new memoir WOODEN & ME is available here at Amazon

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Thoughts on This, That, the Other

Nobody asked me, but here goes anyway. . .

*

I don’t understand the appeal of the new Apple Watch that requires a person to also carry an iPhone in order to activate all the watch’s features, such as tracking physical activity and alerting a person via vibration when texts arrive.

1dicktracyApple didn’t ask me, but alert me when it finally makes a wristwatch that is a phone – you know like Dick Tracy had 80 years ago!

*

Congratulations to Ventura County four-peat champion Westlake High School for placing 20th in the state Academic Decathlon.

Nobody asked me, but I would like to see academic all-stars get the same media coverage when they decide which college they will take their talented minds to as blue-chip prep athletes receive on national signing day.

*

Hollywood and theater chains didn’t ask me, but how about if they cut the 20 minutes of coming attractions by half and show some of the Oscar-nominated Best Short Animated Films we never get to see?

*

I hadn’t watched a national evening news broadcast on one of the three major networks for a while and when I did recently my takeaway on all the fluff was this: #WalterCronkiteIsSad.

*

If somebody asked me if I wanted a bacon and raspberry jelly-topped hotdog on a Krispy Kreme doughnut bun I would think they were messing with me.

But “The Krispy Kreme Donut Dog” really is a mess of a concoction offered at Fawley Stadium in Wilmington, Del., home of the single-A Blue Rocks.

*

Add Krispy arteries: Not to be outdone, for $7 fans attending Phoenix International Raceway can buy a 900-calorie “CARBuretor Crunch” which is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich encrusted in Cap’n Crunch and topped with bacon.

Only 131 days until the 2015 Ventura County Fair opens!

*

Nobody asked me, but my personal list of Best Clam Chowder in Ventura County has a new No. 1 with Garman’s Pub in Santa Paula leapfrogging Beach House Fish at the Ventura Pier, Lure Fish House in downtown Ventura, and Andria’s Seafood at the harbor.

*

I love how a friend of mine recently had a $7 breakfast at a small-town diner and left a $20 bill, noting of the waitress’s reaction: “Her 13-dollar smile made my day!”

A few days later another friend asked a Girl Scout how many boxes of cookies she had left and, told 84, bought all of them. I would have loved to see that $336 smile.

*

Congrats and good luck to 805 community treasure Josh Spiker for taking over the Tri-Running store in Camarillo which he has coolly renamed Mile 26 Sports.

*

Congratulations also to the 805’s Mustang Marketing, and thanks to all who contributed, for giving more than 300 sleeping bags to the homeless.

*

Charlie Sifford, The Jackie Robinson of Golf who recently passed away at age 92, once told me when I asked if he regretted being born too soon to play on the then-segregated PGA Tour in his prime, answered: “I don’t regret being born too soon, I’m just thankful I was born at all.”

A great lesson in perspective for all of us.

*

Speaking of thankfulness, a story earlier this week in my favorite newspaper included this quote from a grandmother, who has been living in a crowded trailer with her daughter and four grandchildren, after a county assistance program helped the family move into a four-bedroom house in Simi Valley:

“To us, this is a mansion. Running water, we are very rich.”

How rich does her gratitude make you feel?

*

Art Linkletter was only half right with his old show “Kids Say The Darndest Things” – so do senior citizens.

During the Q&A portion of my recent talk about John Wooden at “The Californian” Ventura Convalescent Hospital, after questions about basketball and Coach’s religious beliefs, a woman raised her hand enthusiastically and asked: “Can I go to the bathroom now?!”

Quoting one of my favorite Woodenisms, I said: “Be quick, but don’t hurry.”

*   *   *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

Column: Two Special Hoosiers

 

Wooden & Tavis: Two Hoosiers Cut From Same Rare Cloth

 

            Twenty-seven years ago this month, half my lifetime ago, I received the most wonderful of invitations when John Wooden asked me to join him for a four-mile morning walk.

 

            This week I received another heady invite – to be a guest on “The Tavis Smiley Show” (Listen Here) to reminisce about Coach Wooden.

Tavis Smiley is a Wooden-esque role model.

Tavis Smiley is a Wooden-esque role model.

 

Airing on Public Radio International, the show reaches more than 700 affiliates nationwide. For an author, it is a momentous opportunity. But to be honest, it would have mattered little to me if the mic had failed to record the interview.

 

No, the thrill among thrills was getting to meet Smiley, whom I have long admired for his gifts as TV and radio host, publisher and best-selling author – and above all for his life-changing philanthropic work. At age 49, Smiley has accomplished enough for three lifetimes. He must get by on two hours sleep.

 

Though four years my junior, Smiley has been a hero I look up to.

 

The risk with meeting heroes in person is they rarely measure up to the ideals in your mind. Smiley, however, did not disappoint. Rather, he exceeded all expectations. In this manner and more, Tavis Smiley reminds me greatly of John Wooden, my all-time idol.

 

The similarities begin with both having grown up in Indiana and working their way through college: Wooden at Purdue and Smiley at rival Indiana University after arriving on campus with $50 in his pocket.

 

It comes as no surprise that Smiley says the two Hoosiers hit it off swimmingly from their first hello when they met for an interview.

 

Why wouldn’t they? Smiley epitomizes all 15 blocks in Wooden’s famous “Pyramid of Success” – Industriousness, Friendship, Loyalty, Cooperation, Enthusiasm, Self-Control, Alertness, Initiative, Intentness, Condition, Skill, Team Spirit, Poise, Confidence, and Competitive Greatness.

 

As a specific example, consider “Intentness” which Wooden defined thusly: “Stay the course. When thwarted try again; harder; smarter. Persevere relentlessly.”

 

As a college junior, Smiley wrote a letter each week, month after month after month, to Los Angeles Mayor Tom Bradley seeking a summer internship.

 

Thwarted, Smiley bought an airline ticket he could ill afford and flew to L.A. – without an appointment – to try to achieve his goal through a personal appeal.

 

Again told there were no internships available, Smiley persevered. He sent a handwritten letter “from the heart” to Bradley and finally received a coveted position.

 

Smiley has used this same Competitive Greatness to win his own Wooden-like collection of NCAA basketball titles, so to speak, including being named one of “The World’s 100 Most Influential People” by TIME magazine; receiving the prestigious Du Bois Medal from Harvard University; and, next month, being honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

 

Another similarity: Smiley’s signature “Keep the faith” TV sign-off always makes me think of the Wooden because the top block of the Pyramid of Success is held in place by a special mortar comprised of two ingredients: Faith and Patience.

 

To be sure, these two devout Hoosiers are cut of the same rare cloth.

 

TavisWoodenBookWeb

Signed copies are available here at WoodyWoodburn.com
Unsigned paperbacks or Kindle ebook at Amazon.com

 

Another “Wooden-ism” embodied by Smiley: “You can’t live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.” He does so through numerous philanthropic donations and deeds, including his nonprofit foundation that has provided “Youth to Leaders” training workshops and conferences to more than 6,000 youngsters.

 

            Indeed, Smiley shares Wooden’s belief that “young people need fewer critics and more models.”

 

            This is actually true for people of all ages.

 

            Before I left the Sheryl Flowers Radio Studios in Los Angeles, Smiley was expressing his admiration for Coach Wooden and Muhammad Ali, among other heroes of his, and opined: “We don’t make ’em like that anymore.”

 

            “Sure we do,” I countered. “Look in the mirror.”

 

            Tavis Smiley smiled modestly, said thanks sincerely, but disagreed humbly.

 

            It is exactly how John Wooden used to respond to superlative praise, no matter how rightly deserved.

*

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com

Check out his new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

 

Column: A Kind Word Lifts Spirits

A Kind Word Can Lift Low Spirits

*  *  *

“We have not yet begun to use kind words in such abundance as they ought to be used.”

                                                                                     – Blaise Pascal, French philosopher

*

Given a quarter-full glass, or three-quarters empty depending on one’s perspective, my mindset is usually, “That’s a lot to drink because that’s a big glass.”

The other day, however, I saw that glass as 75 percent empty – and dirty and cracked. Some cranky e-mails about a column had me feeling low. Then a note from another reader lifted my fallen spirits and brought to mind the poem “On Friendship” by my hero Coach John Wooden:

At times when I am feeling low, / I hear from a friend and then

My worries start to go away / And I am on the mend

No matter what the doctors say – / And their studies never end

The best cure of all, when spirits fall, / Is a kind word from a friend

My cure came from a friend I have never met. Jon Gold, a Los Angeles sportswriter who grew up in Thousand Oaks, wrote me succinctly but with kindness in abundance: “I became a writer because I got to read you write like this when I was 10.”

His words were penicillin for what ailed me. That I somehow inspired someone even a small fraction of the way Jim Murray made me want to become a writer is as nice a compliment as I have ever received.

Jon’s note did something more – it reminded me of this wisdom from Russian screenwriter Sonya Levien: “Good intentions are not enough; they’ve never put an onion in the soup yet.”

How many times have I failed to put an onion in the soup; thought about sending a kind note but not followed up in deed? Thankfully, I have not faltered completely in letting those who have changed my life know it. I wrote to my first newspaper boss last year; my sixth-grade teacher before that; Jim Murray and Coach Wooden before their deaths.

My two adult kids, on the other hand, are chef-like at putting onions in the soup. This very week my daughter wrote a two-page letter to one of her favorite university professors, thanking him for his past and present mentorship. She has similarly written notes of gratitude to numerous other teachers, colleagues, friends.

My son also regularly puts pen to paper to express thanks to professors, mentors, coaches and friends who have influenced his life’s journey. Just recently he mailed a card, albeit three years belatedly, to someone he met only once.

Unfortunately it was returned as undeliverable. However, he was able to locate the person on-line at her new place of employment and resent it. It began: “Dear Liz Williams, I don’t know if you remember me, but I want to thank you for changing my life. . . .”

He proceeded to explain how she had been instrumental in his taking his first humanitarian trip to Africa – Mali – a momentous event that opened his eyes and heart, opened doors, and inspired him to return to Africa – Ghana – as well as make a four-week goodwill visit to Sri Lanka.

My son concluded: “I apologize for getting caught up in other things and not telling you all this sooner – it is one of the lessons from Mali that I have had to re-learn looking back. This long-overdue thanks is to let you know that you have taught me the greatest lesson of all: that we can profoundly change the lives of anyone we come in contact with, and while we may not always know if we do, I wanted you to know that in this case you have made a world of difference.”

Not surprisingly, his thoughtful words were as welcomed as Jon Gold’s were to me. “Thank you for reaching out!” Liz wrote back. “Wow, I am truly overwhelmed by the kindness of your words. It made my day (maybe even my year) . . .”

Now if you will excuse me, I am going to put an onion in the soup and write a long-overdue note of gratitude to my favorite college professor, Mr. Ridland.

— Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for the Star. You can contact him at WoodyWriter@gmail.com or through his website at www.WoodyWoodburn.com

 

Running Essay: Little Fellow Passes Me

(2011)

Being Passed by The Little Fellow Who Follows Me

Twenty-two Decembers ago, upon the birth of my son, legendary basketball coach John Wooden sent me a copy of a poem he had been presented in 1936 when his own son was born.

My "Little Fellow" many years ago during a youth cross-country race.

My “Little Fellow” many years ago during a youth cross-country race.

It is titled, “A Little Fellow Follows Me,” and begins:

     A careful man I want to be,

     A little fellow follows me;

     I dare not to go astray,

     For fear he’ll go the self-same way.

I re-read the poem often, and especially each Father’s Day, and think of that littler fellow every day – even as my own not-so-little fellow has grown six-feet-three-inches tall. I especially was reminded of the poem recently when he and I went on a run together.

Like most father’s and sons, we play basketball in the driveway and catch in the park, but The Little Fellow Who Follows Me especially likes to run.

No. Loves to run. Always has. He even wrote a poem in the second grade that said so, titled: “I Am A Boy Who Loves To Run.”

I am not sure where this pedestrian passion comes from. Track and cross country were never my sports. Or my two older brothers’ sports. Or my dad’s.

But they are my son’s. Instead of posters and pictures of Peyton manning and Shaquille O’Neal, his boyhood bedroom wall is plastered with ones of U.S. Olympic distance running legends Steve Prefontaine and Billy Mills and Deena Kastor.

* * *

     I cannot once escape his eyes,

     Whatever he sees me do, he tries;

     Like me he says he’s going to be,

     The little chap who follows me.

Greg representing USC on the track with true "Fight On!" spirit.

Greg representing USC on the track with true “Fight On!” spirit.

My son is much too fast for me these days – he was a four-year walk-on for the University of Southern California Track & Field team and Distance Captain last season as a senior. His event was the 5,000 meters with some 1,500s. Now we only run together occasionally when he is home on a break from running his nonprofit organization Give Running www.giverunning.org and has an “easy” day training for road races. Indeed, even though I am fast enough to have qualified for the Boston Marathon, his “easy” runs are my speed workouts just trying to keep up with him!

But we used to run together a lot. In fact, The Little Chap Who Follows Me actually would run next to me. We talked a lot. Actually, he did. Me, I mostly listened.

He would tell me about his friends, about school, about video games, about what moves he would make if he coached the Lakers.

Our running conversations also included a lot of questions. Usually his. Often they made me laugh out loud. Like, “Was Gramps really a kid once?”

And, “Is Mom growing shorter?”

“What?”

“Dad, I really think she’s shrinking!”

“No, I think you’re just growing taller.”

“Oh yeah, I guess so.”

You can see why I always savored running with The Little Fellow Who Follows Me, even when the pace was slower than I’d like to keep him from actually following me. Admittedly, I knew this wouldn’t last long. Indeed, like his shrinking mother, his dad is growing slower.

More than that, The Little Fellow also simply became a faster fellow who at age 11 ran a 5:37 mile, broke 20 minutes in the 5K and competed in the cross country nationals in his age group.

* * *

     He thinks that I am good and fine,

     Believes in every word of mine;

     The base in me he must not see,

     The little chap who follows me.

I specifically, and fondly, remember one magical day 11 years ago – I know the year because it’s in my running diary, the memory preserved like a pressed rose in a scrapbook. The Little Chap Who Follows Me wanted to go on a 3-mile run. When we reached the turnaround point, I was struggling not to be The Old Man Who Follows Him.

Slowly, but methodically, The Little Chap Who Follows Me took the lead and widened it.

When he finally sensed that I was no longer with him, he turned around and came back for me. I told him to go ahead and I’d meet him at the park, but he would have none of that and ran alongside me at my pace the rest of the way.

I had envisioned this watershed day coming, the day when I couldn’t keep up – but not for a few more years I thought.

I thought wrong. Indeed, it was no fluke.

A couple days later, we went for a run in the hills and again I struggled to keep pace. Midway up “The Long Monster Hill That Makes Your Legs Burn,” as he has nicknamed this stretch of heartbreak road, I breathlessly insisted that The Little Fellow Who Follows Me go on ahead and wait for me at the top.

* * *

     I must remember as I go,

My not-so-lIttle "Little Fellow" and me.

My not-so-little “Little Fellow” and me.

     Through summer’s sun and winter’s snow;

     I am building for the years to be

     That little chap who follows me.

With the summer’s-like sun setting behind the mountains, I finally crested the Monster Hill long after The Little Chap Who Follows Me did.

When I at last came into his view, he waved at me and smiled a big smile that seemed equal parts I-missed-you-Dad and pride. My pride was even greater. It is a mental snapshot I will remember as I go through the rest of my summer suns and winter snows.

Running, of course, is just a metaphor. My 11-year-old son’s flying Nikes as he effortlessly sailed up The Long Monster Hill That Makes Your Legs Burn and left me behind were a reminder of time’s winged flight, that The Little Fellow Who Follows Me wouldn’t be little for long.

Yes, figuratively I had glimpsed the future, and it is as it should be. Sons should grow taller and faster and stronger and more talented than their dads. And handsomer and funnier and wiser, too.

In short, become better.

Become, also, careful men with their own little fellows who follow them.

Until then, The Little Fellow Who Follows Me, now 22, gets to lead me. And I could not be happier.