“Picking Up Orange Peels” Part 2

March 24, 2018March 24, 2018 by Woody

Is your Club or Group looking for an inspiring guest speaker or do you want to host a book signing? . . . Contact Woody today!

* * *

For a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

* * *

“Picking Up Orange Peels” Part 2

One of a writer’s loftier goals is to move a reader, so it humbles me that my column two weeks past achieved this – literally.

Indeed, a number of people emailed to say they were inspired to get moving. Specifically, to go “plogging” – a term derived from the Swedish “plocka upp” – and “pick up” litter while out on a run or brisk walk.

“It was definitely exercise – bending over 34 times to retrieve the 34 items I bagged and brought home with me,” shared local resident Shay Collier. “This was a 3-mile walk through my neighborhood, which I do most days. I didn’t change from my normal speed, but had no problem spotting the trash as I quickly moved along.”

Shay even itemized her “plocka upped” garbage: “Plastic water bottle, ballpoint pen innards, half a lead pencil, rubber glove, kid’s lemonade box, empty green pet poop bag, rubber band, round metal washer, yellow packing wire, red plastic tube, 3 cigarette butts, 5 pieces of snack wrappers, 15 miscellaneous pieces of paper . . . ” 1plogging

Shay’s one-day dirty laundry list brought to mind my own “plogging” experience over the course of a full year along a one-mile section of my daily running route.

Specifically, my personal “Adopt-A-Highway” was a busy two-lane road with a wide dirt berm where it borders a lemon orchard. While this stretch smells citrusy wonderful during picking season, it had also become an ugly dumpsite.

Truth be told, pushing a wheelbarrow while I ran would have been helpful for this proved to be a far greater Sisyphean challenge than I had anticipated. No sooner would I push the boulder three steps up the mountain when newly tossed litter knocked me two steps backward.

Undeterred, a handful at a time I tackled the routine litter first: fast-food bags and paper wrappers; soda cans and beer bottles; and plastic grocery bags, which came in handy for carrying extra trash.

Next, I went after other small things like DVDs and CDs; batteries and books; an alarm clock and a couple of dead cell phones; clothes and shoes; Barbie dolls with broken limbs and stuffed animals in need of sutures; wrenches and screwdrivers and saw blades; a football helmet that I wore home while running; and a wallet, with money still in it, that I was able to return to its owner.

With the bigger junk – a television, stereo system, drum set, car muffler, bike frame – I took a different approach. I carried these heavy items a mere 50 or 100 yards each day before resuming my run. Eventually, however, one by one I got them home to toss out curbside or take to the e-waste recycling center.

Some stuff was simply too big and heavy to lug home, even incrementally. A loveseat, for example, I struggled to move ten yards up the embankment to roadside. A few days later, however, I was able to flag down a trash truck. After explaining my project to the driver, he helpfully hauled the small couch away.

Too, there were a couple of road-kill coyotes and one full-grown pig that must have caused major fender damage while meeting its demise. For these, I phoned Animal Control.

All told I “plocka upped” everything from A to Z, including the kitchen sink. I am exaggerating, but barely, for I did clear away a bathroom sink!

Returning full circle to Shay Collier. On account of my mentioning that John Wooden had a different term for “plogging,” calling it “picking up orange peels,” she concluded her litter list serendipitously: “. . . and yes, an orange peel!”

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden & Me Kickstarter Front Photo Check out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com
Unsigned paperbacks or Kindle ebook can be purchased here at Amazon

Youth Serves Notice as Leaders

March 17, 2018March 17, 2018 by Woody

Is your Club or Group looking for an inspiring guest speaker or do you want to host a book signing? . . . Contact Woody today!

* * *

For a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

* * *

Plea For The Greatest Generation 2.0

Dear Youth,

I nearly addressed you “Dear Students” but that seems too limiting – and there is to be no limiting you, as you showed the world earlier this week.

Even the nametag “Youth” seems too small, ignoble even, for you proved yourselves quite noble by marching out of your high school classrooms nationwide in protest of gun violence as well as in solemn remembrance of the 17 students and staff members slain a month ago at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla.

I also considered beginning “Dear Future Leaders” but this, too, fell short because your leadership does not lie ahead – it is needed now. On Wednesday morning, you delivered.

And that is the reason for this brief note. One day is, to flip one of your marching messages upon its ear, not #Enough. Our nation needs more of your leadership daily here on out. 1walkout

Nay, the world needs your leadership. When I say “world” I mean it literally, as in the globe, as in Earth. Real and deadly as gun violence is, a greater enemy requiring your focus and fight is climate change.

A madman – or mad boy, as is often the case – with a rapid-fire firearm can wipe out a classroom of kids in mere moments or kill dozens in a movie theater or church or concert venue. Climate change, however, has the potential to wash away entire cities; destroy crops on scales so grand as to cause famine; even, and surely, to cause wars.

The people who tell you climate change is a “hoax” are the same who derisively call you “kids” and scornfully say you are too young and naïve to be telling your adult leaders “Enough is enough” and “No more” while demanding stricter gun legislation to make you safer at school.

In other words, these naysayers of youth are older people who will not be affected by the climate change monster when it gains more momentum and power if nothing is done soon – now! – to slow or even shackle it.

Youth, your grandparents and great-grandparents have been called “The Greatest Generation” for bravely defeating the Nazis in World War II. Their heroism was indeed colossal, but no less heroic measures are demanded of you now. If you can rid your schools – and churches, theaters, arenas – of gun violence, you will in turn be a truly great generation.

And if you can halt the rising tide on climate change, I dare say you will be The Greatest Generation 2.0.

I, for one, believe you are tall to the task. You have found your voices; now you must raise them, higher and louder and tirelessly. You must continue to march, not just on your campuses and in the streets, but to the voting booths.

Yes, most importantly, even more than with speeches and Tweets and postings on Instgram and Facebook, you must make your voices heard at the ballot box.

To those who tell you to pipe down because you are just kids, keep in mind that some of our Founding Fathers were not much older than you. James Monroe was only 18 in 1776 while Alexander Hamilton but 19. Nathan Hale was 21 and James Madison just 25. Being a leader and world-changer has no minimum age requirement.

Indeed, few forces are more powerful than youth armed with courage and conviction. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: “When duty whispers low, ‘Thou must,’ The youth whisper, ‘I can.’ ”

Emerson was wrong, slightly. Dear Youth, Thou must not whisper your reply, you must bellow!

Sincerely with hope and confidence in you,

Woody

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com
Unsigned paperbacks or Kindle ebook can be purchased here at Amazon

‘Plogging’ Craze is Beautiful

March 10, 2018 by Woody

Is your Club or Group looking for an inspiring guest speaker or do you want to host a book signing? . . . Contact Woody today!

* * *

For a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

* * *

‘Plogging’ Craze is a Beautiful Thing

What’s old is new again.

In the 1970s, kids routinely raced around the Cabrillo Racquet Club grounds in rural Saticoy after Saturday morning clinics enthusiastically picking up discarded aluminum cans and paper wrappers as if they were Easter eggs. Coach Wayne Bryan called it a “competition” which made us kids call it fun.

Meanwhile at Balboa Middle School, Coach Harold McFadden called picking up trash that blew over from the lunch area “doing the right thing.” As a result, the school janitor never had to clean up the basketball courts or playing fields. 1plogging

Here is further evidence of why I believe great coaches must have a specific “anti-litter” gene: for as long as I’ve known him, Buena High’s legendary Joe Vaughan has picked up trash on his daily runs and the same could be said of John Wooden during his morning four-mile walks. Coach Wooden called it “picking up orange peels” although it applied to any litter he saw along his route.

Old is new, what fell out of style becomes trendy, and picking up trash while on the go is now so popular it has a hip name: “plogging.”

Despite often taking place on the run, “plogging” is not derived from the word “jogging.” Rather, the term was originally coined in Sweden and comes from “plocka upp” which translates to “pick up.”

Once a fringe activity called simply “trash running” outside of Scandinavia, plogging is gaining momentum as a worldwide fitness/environmental craze combining good-for-leg-strength squats with the feel-good Boy Scout virtue of leaving the campsite better than you found it.

As a result, sidewalks and roadways are becoming noticeably cleaner in countless cities, as are hiking trails and running paths.

Indeed, organized running clubs are even following Wayne Bryan’s method of turning plogging into a fun competition among themselves.

Furthermore, a growing army of runners are routinely carrying collection bags with them and making plogging a part of their workout. Many runners even set goals of how much litter they can collect; keep track of their PRs for trash picked up; and post photos on social media of their garbage bounties.

The Swedes may claim credit for launching plogging, but I think they are unjustly stealing our West Coast thunder. For the past 33 years we have held an annual California Coastal Cleanup Day to “plocka upp” trash from our beaches as well as lakes, rivers and creek beds. The effort is not only for beautification, but also preservation of the environment to prevent or minimize harm to wildlife.

California Coastal Cleanup Day has been no small success. To give you some measure, more than 60,000 volunteers turned out last Sept. 16 and their combined statewide efforts plocka upp-ed more than 2 million cigarette butts and 1 million plastic bottles; nearly 1 million each food wrappers and plastic bottle caps; half a million each plastic straws, glass bottles, and plastic grocery bags; and by reported count 381,669 metal bottle caps and 351,585 plastic lids.

That’s merely the top 10 different items of recyclable trash and debris cleaned up on one single day. Imagine the tonnages removed over the combined 33 annual California Coastal Cleanup Days, including all the remaining unlisted categories of litter.

Now imagine if we could individually expand the annual California Coastal Cleanup Day into a daily habit, and not just at the beaches but everywhere.

Old is new. The late McFadden and Wooden were daily ploggers, as are Coaches Bryan and Vaughan still. Let’s all emulate them in cleaning up our own little corners of the world.

Running or walking, let’s all plocka upp some orange peels today.

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com
Unsigned paperbacks or Kindle ebook can be purchased here at Amazon

This, That and Some Poetry, too

March 3, 2018 by Woody

Is your Club or Group looking for an inspiring guest speaker or do you want to host a book signing? . . . Contact Woody today!

* * *

For a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

* * *

This and That, and Some Poetry, too

“To begin, begin,” wrote the English poet, William Wordsworth. This seems wise advice for all of us to chase our dreams and passions beginning now.

Endings are also important as Jordan Bohannon of the University of Iowa proved a few days past. The sophomore point guard had made a school record-tying 34 consecutive free throws before clanking the would-be record-breaker off the front of the rim – on purpose.

The reason: he did not want to erase Chris Street’s name from the record book. Street died in a car crash in 1993 while his streak was still ongoing.

“That’s not my record to have,” Bohannon explained. “That record deserves to stay in his name.” 1wordsworth

The selfless act brings to mind the name Ralph Waldo Emerson and his words: “What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.”

Despite Millennials frequently being attacked as selfish and coddled and worse, I think Bohannon is a fine example that the right stuff lies inside our youth. Indeed, they are proving so with their #NeverAgain activism following the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla.

Speaking of the gun-control debate, my in-box overflowed in support of the need for expanded legislation with only one email parroting the NRA’s status quo. My favorite came from reader Bill Waxman in poetic form:

“From Sandy Hook to Broward County

“Parents again are paying the bounty

“But every time the answer’s the same

“We’ll play the finger pointing game

“And all Congress offers is prayers but no cures

“Because the kids weren’t theirs, they were yours.

“Elected to serve the lobbyist’s greed

“Never mind what the country really needs

“Sitting in their Washington tower

“Slaves to the power of the donated dollar

“Nestled in the pockets of the NRA

“Ignoring the lives that were lost today

“From my cold dead hands, the jingoist screams

“While grieving parents bury their dreams

“The laws of nature have all been shattered

“We forgot to protect what really mattered

“Prayers and condolences ring hollow and fake

“They do nothing to soothe the national ache.

“The debate will turn back to building the wall

“Blind eyes turned to the bodies that fall

“The same spineless group will run in November

“Hoping the rest of us just won’t remember

“Their lack of courage, their lack of cares

“Since the dead were yours, for they weren’t theirs.”

Another original poem, a happier haiku, came in my in-box from reader Linda Calderon:

“Sunrise: God peeling

“back night – revealing day’s bloom,

“petal by petal.”

Linda’s words bring to mind another quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson: “If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years how man would marvel and stare.”

In addition to marveling at the peeling back of night, I think we should stare more often at the Pacific sunsets we are so blessed to have with the Channel Islands in the foreground.

Let me end with something else of beauty, more than 300 quilts made and collected by the Ventura Modern Quilt Guild, which it is gifting to those affected by the Thomas Fire and Montecito mudslide.

Making this project all the more beautiful, it is not just a local effort: quilts have been donated from 49 states and seven different countries! (To sign up go to: www.Venturamodernquiltguild.com)

The late, great poet Maya Angelou said, “When you leave home, you take home with you.”

To those who lost their homes, a lovely handmade quilt will make their new residences a little more homey.

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com
Unsigned paperbacks or Kindle ebook can be purchased here at Amazon

By Day’s End, It Was Nearly Perfect

February 24, 2018 by Woody

Is your Club or Group looking for an inspiring guest speaker or do you want to host a book signing? . . . Contact Woody today!

* * *

For a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

* * *

By Day’s End, It Was Nearly Perfect

The airplane was coming in damaged and ablaze.

The pilot needed to land on the aircraft carrier’s flight deck, a tiny postage stamp in the middle of the ocean, and additionally had to snag the tailhook on the arresting wire to keep from skidding off.

Moreover, the pilot would have only one try. If he came in at the wrong angle, the wrong incline, the wrong speed, there would be no time for a second approach.

There actually proved nearly not time enough for one attempt: mere seconds after the pilot landed perfectly and escaped the cockpit quickly, the plane became a fireball.

The heart-skipping adventure was related to me by my luncheon seatmate, himself a hero in a “Vietnam Veteran” hat and buddy of the pilot, before I was to get up and share stories about John Wooden. I think my seatmate rightly should have been given the microphone as the day’s guest speaker.

The top block of Coach Wooden’s famous Pyramid of Success is “Competitive Greatness” which he defined thusly: “Be at your best when your best is needed.” Hearing the harrowing fireball tale, I told my seatmate: “That is truly being at your best when your best is needed!”

As generally happens when I am asked to give a talk, I wind up on the receiving end. This time, not only did I leave with a new tale to share about true “Competitive Greatness” but I also departed with a new book – “Coach Wooden and Me” by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, an unexpected gift from my storytelling seatmate, Tom McEachern. 1perfectDayWiiden

Making Tom’s thoughtfulness all the more special was that it mimicked a kindness Coach Wooden once did me. As I was leaving his home at the end of an afternoon visit, he excused himself to go to his study and returned with a book as a gift.

I thanked Coach, but embarrassingly told him he had already given me too many gifts in the past. I insisted he keep the book and that I would happily stop at the bookstore on my way home to buy my own copy.

Smiling wryly, Coach said: “Well, Woody, I can’t very well give it to anyone else because I’ve already signed it to you.”

We shared a laugh before Coach rejoined: “I still want you to stop at the bookstore to buy an extra copy and give it to a friend for no reason.”

In other words, in Wooden-ism words: “Make friendship a fine art.”

Tom had not known this story before buying me a gift book, but after hearing me share the anecdote during my talk he did a second Wooden-like thing: he had me sign an extra copy of my memoir “Wooden & Me” to give to one of his friends for no reason.

Later that same day, another Wooden-ism I shared with the audience returned to mind: “You cannot live a perfect day until you do something for someone else who will never be able to repay you.”

Inspired by Coach, and by Tom, and most specifically by a young man in Chicago – who I mentioned in this space a month ago after he gave the expensive winter boots off his own feet to a homeless man with tattered sneakers – I gave a nearly new pair of running shoes to a local homeless man because his shoes had deteriorated so greatly they afforded less protection than flip-flops.

Truth is, I received far more than I gave.

On this same day still, and returning full circle to books, a friend told me she was donating some new books to a Little Free Library on my behalf.

I am not sure it is possible to live a perfect day, but this one was definitely a very, very good one.

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com
Unsigned paperbacks or Kindle ebook can be purchased here at Amazon

“Only in America” is Shameful

February 17, 2018 by Woody

Is your Club or Group looking for an inspiring guest speaker or do you want to host a book signing? . . . Contact Woody today!

* * *

For a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

* * *

‘Only in America’ Has Assumed Tragic Meaning

I had a different column written for today – finished, polished and ready to file to my editor.

Then a mass shooting happened in America again, in Florida this time, in a school once more.

The thing is, if I wrote my weekly column on the mass mayhem every time it occurs in America, I would write about nothing else. In the first seven weeks of 2018 alone, there have been 30 such shootings.

No, I simply cannot write about ugly shootings every time we have an ugly shooting any more than I can write about beautiful sunsets every time we have a beautiful sunset over the Channel Islands.

Moreover, I try to use my space here each Saturday morning to lift spirits, not deflate them; to give smiles, not erase them; to offer a respite from front-page realities. As it is, I have gone against this goal and written too many columns on mass shootings – Las Vegas, San Bernardino, Sandy Hook and ten more. What else could I write that I haven’t already?

Here is what I have not before said: I am ashamed of my country.

Make no mistake, I love America and cherish our freedoms.

I am blessed to have been born in the U.S. But I am also ashamed of us. Ashamed that we allow the wholesale slaughter of our citizens – of our school children! – without doing anything meaningful to try to slow the carnage, much less stop it.

“Wholesale slaughter” is not hyperbole. Seventeen people were murdered and 14 more wounded this time by one gunman on Feb. 14 at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla. By comparison, the Al Capone gang’s infamous “Valentine’s Day Massacre” left just seven dead.

Statistically, a Capone-like “Valentine’s Day Massacre” happens nearly sixfold daily in the U.S. with more than 40 gun deaths on average. In answer to this deadly gunfire, out of Washington, D.C. comes only silence.

That is not true. Our elected officials are big on voicing condolences and prayers, but small on offering any action. By a majority they insist gun legislation won’t work; that what we need are more guns because good guys with guns stop bad guys with guns; that criminals will get guns anyway; that citizens have a right to assault-style weapons; that cars kill people too.

These are falsehoods and lies, rationalizations and distractions. No other county on earth has this cancer. 1flag

America has a proud history of fighting for human rights around the globe. Mass shootings and school shootings, too often one in the same, have become a human rights issue here at home. For our elected officials to not take serious measures to try to stop the triggers from being pulled is to effectively have their fingers on those triggers.

Those who will attack me for being unpatriotic, I offer Teddy Roosevelt’s words: “To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.”

The same is true for the argument that we are to stand by our country, right or wrong.

The videos of the shooting that some Parkland students captured on their cellphones are truly chilling. It is also chilling to realize that these school shootings have become so commonplace that our students and teachers routinely go through lockdown drills the way past generations did fire drills.

“Only in America” used to be a term of pride; when it comes to gun violence, it is one of shame.

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com
Unsigned paperbacks or Kindle ebook can be purchased here at Amazon

Westerns Author Rides to Rescue

February 10, 2018February 10, 2018 by Woody

Is your Club or Group looking for an inspiring guest speaker or do you want to host a book signing? . . . Contact Woody today!

* * *

For a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

* * *

Local Westerns Author Finds Self in Non-Fiction Battle

Western novels do not enjoy the widespread popularity they did in the mid-20th century when Louis L’Amour was riding high in the author saddle. Still, the genre retains a loyal following.

Part of the appeal of “frontier stories,” as L’Amour called them, is they offer an escape from a confusing grey world by providing fictional black-and-white-hat clarity; good guys and bad guys; right versus wrong.

And, of course, frontier stories offer a hero.

Such is the case with “Coyote Courage,” the first in a trilogy – followed by “Coyote Creek” and “Coyote Canyon” – written by Thousand Oaks resident Scott Harris.

The hero in the “Coyote” series is Brock Clemons, the last name being inspired by the author’s admiration for Samuel Clemens, better know by his pen name Mark Twain. 1coyotecover

Brock also bears inspiration from Harris, although the author declines any similarities beyond their shared affinity for whiskey and cigars. Because I know Harris as a friend, I know he is being overly modest. He and Brock also share core values of truth and honesty, fair play and chivalry.

Two weeks ago, life imitated art when Harris found himself in a Brock-like plotline. Conejo Valley Unified School District board trustee Mike Dunn sent an email to Harris threatening to harm the reputation of his business, Mustang Marketing, if he did not silence employee Jessica Weihe. As a parent, Weihe has been critical of Dunn.

That has me on the same page with Weihe. I took Dunn to task last July for his role in not approving for the ninth-grade core literature list – thus, effectively banning – Sherman Alexie’s national award-winning young adult novel “The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian,” or PTI for short.

Unbelievably, and irresponsibly, Dunn “banned” (would not approve) PTI despite admitting he had not read it. I did read it and it is terrific and well worthy of high school students’ study and discussion. In Ventura County especially, where we have racial and economic diversity, PTI’s themes are of paramount relevance and importance for our youth.

As for violence and sex – “pornographic” is the word Dunn has employed, and wrongly in disparaging PTI – the novel is tamer than most every prime-time sitcom on network television today. Moreover, every newscast and newspaper features more violence than this novel.

Suggestion: a school district’s “opt-out” policy from reading an assigned novel should include the requirement that one of the student’s parents first read the book – and answer a worksheet to ensure they did – so they do not make such a decision blindly.

Certainly the black-hat-wearing Dunn would have been wise to read “Coyote Courage” before picking a fight with Weihe. Had Dunn done so, he might have anticipated that Weihe’s boss would stand up Brock-like to a bully on her behalf.

Not only in name but also in character is Brock Clemons inspired by Mark Twain, who said: “It is a worthy thing to fight for one’s freedom; it is another to fight for another man’s.”

Brock does just that in “Coyote Courage” where he fights to save the town from outlaws. Importantly, Brock does not do so alone – he rallies the townspeople in Dry Springs to stand up with him.

In Conejo, “Brock” – that is, Scott Harris – fought for the First Amendment. He, too, did not do so alone – he rallied the community. The result this week was the censure of Dunn by the CVUSD board, and by a unanimous 4-0 vote.

By the way, the title of Harris’ debut novel refers to a coyote’s trait of attacking anything that is weaker than it is. Or, if the foe is larger and stronger, coyotes will attack only if they have the adversary greatly outnumbered. Hence, to have the courage of a coyote is to cowardly avoid a fair fight.

Life imitates art: when the fight came Tuesday evening at the school board meeting, Dunn was a no-show.

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com
Unsigned paperbacks or Kindle ebook can be purchased here at Amazon

Overrated (and Underrated) Opinions

February 3, 2018 by Woody

Is your Club or Group looking for an inspiring guest speaker or do you want to host a book signing? . . . Contact Woody today!

* * *

For a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

* * *

Today’s Column is Overrated (and Underrated)

My rating of ratings – be they customers on Yelp, consumers on Amazon, movie critics in a newspaper – is that they are overrated.

Nonetheless, I hereby offer a myriad of ratings. Specifically, a list of things that are either “overrated” or “underrated” in my view.

The word “myriad” is underrated and, thus, underused.

Word-of-mouth recommendations are underrated and overrated – it depends on the mouth.

Freedom of speech is underrated.

A free press is likewise underrated until it becomes threatened.

The Super Bowl is overrated, its commercials are overrated, the halftime ceremony is overrated – and yet when friends get together, Super Bowl Sunday as a whole is underrated.

Speaking of friends, a truly good one cannot be overrated.

Speaking of football, it pains me to admit this, but Tom Brady is not overrated.

Being able to turn on your faucet and safely drink the tap water is supremely underrated.

Bottled water is overrated – except when you are in a place where the tap water is unsafe, or simply tastes like minerals.

Libraries – public, school, in one’s home – are underrated.

A walk on the beach, or in the woods, is underrated.

Doctors are generally rated just about right, I believe, but nurses are underrated.

Having a really good dentist is underrated.

TV is overrated, but public television and public radio are underrated.

Children’s laughter cannot be overrated.

The goose-bump thrill of seeing great artwork in person cannot be overrated – a child’s artwork held by a magnet on a refrigerator is likewise underrated.

Having a good mechanic, handyman or plumber is underrated.

Newspapers, be it print or online, are underrated.

Makeup is overrated by a myriad of women.

Holding hands, be it with a boyfriend or girlfriend, with a husband or wife, with a child or the elderly, is underrated.

Independent bookstores, quirky music stores, and cozy coffee shops are underrated.

Indie movies as a whole are overrated, but individually a myriad are underrated.

I always thought firefighters were underrated. After the Thomas Fire, despite their bravery and deeds that have fostered a greater appreciation by the public, I still think these heroes are underrated.

Gift cards are overrated – crisp cash tucked old-school inside a card, like my Aunt Shirley used to do when I was young, is the underrated way to give when you don’t know what to buy.

Theme parks and roller coasters are overrated, but county fairs and Ferris wheels are underrated.

Congress received a 20-percent approval rating in the most recent Gallup poll. In other words, Congress remains overrated.

Email is overused, but underrated. 1letters

Handwritten notes, cards and letters sent in the mail cannot be overrated.

The Emmys as a show is overrated. Ditto the Oscars and Golden Globes and the rest.

It seems preposterous, given her record 21 Academy Award nominations, but Meryl Streep might be underrated.

The importance of raw talent is overrated while effort and persistence are underrated.

The value of having music and art education in our schools is grossly underrated.

Flowers in a garden are underrated; vegetable gardens are more underrated; and a blanket of wildflowers in a field even more so.

The durability of today’s tires – on cars and bikes – is underrated, or at least underappreciated.

Fabric softener is overrated.

The importance of the thinness of a smartphone is overrated considering most people add a thicker protective case to it.

Thick towels are underrated.

The value of a compliment is underrated by the giver, but not by the person receiving it.

John Steinbeck is overrated. Just kidding, as I cannot help but return to his work time and again.

Farmer’s markets are greatly underrated.

Strawberries in wintertime – the fresh locally grown fruit, not my book – are underrated.

Thursday’s wee morning rare “Super Blue Blood Moon” lunar eclipse was overrated in the days leading up to it, but proved to be underrated in the moments of its splendor.

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com
Unsigned paperbacks or Kindle ebook can be purchased here at Amazon

This, That, and Other iConfessions

January 27, 2018 by Woody

For a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

* * *

This, That, and Other iConfessions

It seems there’s a smartphone app for just about everything. For iPhone users, this includes a download approved by the Catholic Church that coaches people through a practice confession of their sins before going to a real confessional booth.

The creators didn’t ask me, but instead of calling it “Confession: A Roman Catholic App” I think they should have dubbed it “iConfess.”

By the way, iConfess I think the app is a waste of $1.99.

I am not Catholic, nor do I have a new iPhone X, but iConfess I would probably owe a few Hail Marys penance for my verbal reaction if I did own one and dropped it – seeing as that the repair cost for a broken screen is a whopping $279.

Apple didn’t ask me, but I think it should throw in a free “Confession: A Roman Catholic App” with every iPhone X.

iConfess to sometimes cursing poor customer service, including by the U.S. Postal Service, Federal Express and United Parcel Service for committing various sins to letters, magazines and packages.

Fair being fair, I must also praise UPS – specifically, one of its delivery drivers who knocked on my front door at 9 p.m. earlier this week.

It seems a large package for me had erroneously been loaded onto the wrong truck and thus would not get delivered until the following day.

However, when this driver learned about the mistake from his boss, he offered to personally drop the parcel off on his own time on his drive home from work.

By the way, the friendly driver was a millennial – a group that is too often maligned for being self-centered and lazy.

Speaking of maligned groups, people often complain about Caltrans for its slow progress on projects or having four people supervising two people who actually appear to be working.

iConfess I have similarly grumbled, but Caltrans merits our deepest thanks and highest praise for the Herculean job its workers did toiling tirelessly around the clock to clear away more than 100,000 cubic yards – 12 feet deep in some places – to reopen Highway 101 in less than two weeks following the monumental mudslides in Montecito. 1field

No one asked me, but I think we all need to keep this in mind the next time roadwork causes traffic to slow to a crawl and has our impatience racing.

iConfess to liking most of Kevin Costner’s movies, have loved his performance in a number of them, but the role I most admire him for is as a loyal and generous hometown boy. Very few big-time actors are able to genuinely pull that off.

While it is indeed good news, iConfess that we have flat-out gone statistic crazy when The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration reports a new record being set of 246 consecutive days since a person in the U.S. was killed by a tornado.

Hey NOAA, what’s the record for jellyfish stings in the U.S. on a single day? On a Wednesday? On a Wednesday in April?

iConfess to being fed up with magazines that use technology to print different covers for newsstands and subscription editions, yet insert two, three, even six annoying new-subscription postcards inside a magazine sent to someone (me) who already subscribes to it.

Speaking of print periodicals, my favorite is Patagonia’s catalogue (pronounced “magazine”) as each new edition is filled with stunning outdoor photography as well as well-written feature stories about inspiring people, the environment, travel, wildlife, and more.

iConfess to disliking (pronounced “despising”) the New England Patriots.

Lastly, iConfess to having no interest in buying an Amazon Alexa that can play music, look up recipes, order groceries, control the thermostat and lock doors, give news and weather updates – including how many consecutive days since a person was killed by a tornado in the U.S. – and more, all by voice command.

Unless, that is, I could say, “Alexa, write next week’s column for me.”

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com
Unsigned paperbacks or Kindle ebook can be purchased here at Amazon

Facing a Tragedy, the “805” Unites

January 20, 2018 by Woody

For a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

* * *

Facing a Tragedy, the “805” Unites

A dear friend, having gone through hell and back, once told me a startling thing: she would not wish cancer upon an enemy, yet she was thankful for having had it.

Thankful? For tsunami-like waves of nausea caused by chemotherapy; for sickly weight loss and the loss of hair from radiation treatments; for bone-deep pain and ultra-marathon-like fatigue; for haunting fear?

Yes, she insisted, she was thankful for it all because through the tribulation she learned how strong she was. She found out who her truest friends were. And she had gained a new perspective on life.

As a result, she reframed her view of cancer as being a gift instead of a curse. Other cancer survivors have told me a similar thing. 1help

As the days and weeks and now the first month have passed since the Thomas Fire metastasized across our county, consuming swaths of Santa Paul, Fillmore, Ventura, Ojai, and beyond, in pitiless cancer-like fashion, I have been reminded of my friend’s reframing.

I offer a similar reframing not callously, especially considering there were lives lost. Nor do I say it distantly, for my father’s hillside home of four decades was among those that became ashes and a standing chimney.

Rather, in addition to being a calamity, I can see the Thomas Fire as a cancer-survivor’s-like blessing. At the lowest of times, our communities stood their tallest. As homes were razed, we pulled together like an Amish barn raising.

Seemingly everyone became a Good Samaritan. Neighbors woke neighbors in the dark of a night eerily lighted by an orange glow and helped one another evacuate.

Strangers gave rides to strangers; trucked the horses of strangers to safety; opened their homes and offered spare beds to strangers.

So many donations of clothes came in to evacuation centers that new offerings finally had to be turned away.

A single illustration of generosity speaks as a wider example. Thirteen families, all renters at a mobile home park and all without contents insurance, lost everything they owned.

A humanitarian made a request at his church and on social media for replacement beds, blankets and bedding, sofas, dining tables, kitchenware, coffee makers, microwave ovens, TVs, air purifiers. Thirteen microwaves appeared the next day.

And everything else listed above, and more, for all 13 families was donated within 48 hours. Toys to give the affected children a semblance of a merry holiday also poured in.

Similar narratives were the rule, not the exception. Moreover, the Samaritan spirit continues.

It is not just people helping people, but businesses have been involved too. To mention one local business that has provided free services, free meals, free clothing, free this and free that, to those whose homes burned down – and to those who were evacuated long-term and also to the heroes who fought the fires – would be to leave out a hundred other businesses that did likewise.

The other day, I read a story shared by a man riding the “L” in Chicago that struck home. He was on his commute, on a bone-chilling Midwest day, and saw a homeless man seated across the train car.

The homeless man’s clothes were basically rags, his sneakers had holes, and blood seeped through his socks of which he wore three or four pairs in a losing effort to keep his feet warm.

A younger man entered the train, saw the homeless man, and did not hesitate to do something noble: he took off his own shoes – actually nearly new, expensive, heavy, black leather boots well-suited for Chicago’s harsh winters – and gave them to the older man in need.

There was more: the younger man pulled a pair of fresh socks from his briefcase and these he also gave the older man, along with some kind words.

Reading the story made my heart sing, and not just because of the obvious good done by one person for another.

The exchange also touched me because the young Samaritan reminded me of Ventura County, our “805” united as one.

* * *

Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Personalized signed copies are available at WoodyWoodburn.com
Unsigned paperbacks or Kindle ebook can be purchased here at Amazon

WOODY WOODBURN

Writer, "Streaker" & Speaker

Category Archives: Columns

“Picking Up Orange Peels” Part 2

Youth Serves Notice as Leaders

‘Plogging’ Craze is Beautiful

This, That and Some Poetry, too

By Day’s End, It Was Nearly Perfect

“Only in America” is Shameful

Westerns Author Rides to Rescue

Overrated (and Underrated) Opinions

This, That, and Other iConfessions

Facing a Tragedy, the “805” Unites