Tag Archives: Santa

Christmas in the Summertime

by Woody

The elementary schoolchildren stepped off the yellow bus, weary after another long day in the classroom and wearier from a school year that still had two more days remaining before summer break, and suddenly their faces lit up with Christmas-morning smiles.

I wish you could have seen them.

Some of the kids even sang out with the glee of carolers and I wish you could have heard them as well.

The reason for the excitement was because a handful of volunteers greeted them at their bus stop bearing surprise gifts to celebrate the beginning of summer vacation. “Burgers & Balls” is what Mary Anne Rooney and Mike Barber called the special event they organized, although truth be told the children were actually all given Subway sandwiches not hamburgers.

The boxed meals were welcomed treats because these schoolchildren come from low-income families. More specifically, they live in Nyeland Acres, a community of about 2,800 residents just outside Oxnard. Most specifically, they live near the giant Santa Claus visible from the 101 Freeway. Rising 20 feet high from the belt buckle up on a brick base designed to look like the top of a chimney, the iconic 10,000-pound statue is believed to be the world’s largest Santa.

Built in 1947 and originally located near Carpinteria, Barber famously rescued and moved Santa to Nyeland Acres in 2003. A former ironworker by trade, Barber repaired and refurbished Santa to its former glory and then some. Moreover, each December for the past 15 years he has helped stage the Santa-to-the-Sea Half-Marathon where entrants donate toys that are given to the neighborhood children.

That’s not the half of it. Mike and Mary Anne work tirelessly year-round with The Nyeland Promise to provide local residents with an array of support, resources and advocacy programs ranging from free medical clinics and health education to food pantries and safe drinking water to connecting every home with free internet and providing funding for every resident to attend the first two years at Oxnard College.

And, most recently, 200 schoolchildren received a burger (disguised as turkey and ham sandwiches) plus a soccer ball, basketball or football.

The Nyeland Promise actually had an assist passing out the sports balls – from generous Star readers. Because so many of you donated to my annual “Woody’s Holiday Ball Drive” after the deadline, too late to be delivered to deserving children last Christmas, those bonus balls instead found happy hands a little belatedly.

As I said, I wish you could have been there at the giveaway. Bus after bus, kids descended the stairs with heavy strides that soon grew bouncy. Their colorful backpacks – gifts from The Nyeland Promise ten months ago and filled with school supplies – also seemed to become lighter on their shoulders as they excitedly lined up like youngsters waiting to sit on a mall Santa’s lap.

One young boy wore a “SK8 the Infinity” T-shirt and two sisters wore matching sparkly shirts proclaiming “Life Is Beautiful” and every kid wore a beautiful infinity-wide smile.

One of the volunteers was especially memorable as well. Emily, a high school junior, is an example of The Nyeland Promise helping youth achieve considerable promise. Personable and bright, Emily boasts a 4.5 grade point average and dreams of becoming a pediatrician. Spend even a few minutes with her and you will walk away convinced that a stethoscope is in her future.

In a happy coincidence, one of the bus stops was barely a football pass away from Santa, who at this time of year is adorned with giant sunglasses. Christmas in summertime, indeed.

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Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Personalized Signed copies of WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and  “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

 

Last-Minute Gift List for Santa

by Woody

STRAW_CoverWoody’s highly anticipated new book “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” is NOW available! Order your signed copy HERE!

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Last-Minute Gift List for Santa

Dear Santa, you old curmudgeon, put down that spiked eggnog and listen up. Before you finish checking your list twice to see who’s Trump-y and who’s nice, here are a few last-minute gifts to pack in your sleigh tonight.

Give Vin Scully second thoughts about retirement.

Give Dodgers fans the same as above.

1santaGive the world another John Glenn, Prince, David Bowie, Arnold Palmer and Muhammad Ali – well, as near facsimiles as possible – to fill the voids they left behind this year.

Give every school bully a lump of coal.

Give a bagful of rocks to Juan Manuel Cisneros, the local artist whose breathtaking nativity scene built with balanced stones that seem to defy gravity at the beach near the Ventura Pier is such a masterpiece it has been viewed more than 13 million times on social media.

Give teachers some heartfelt notes from former students who are now successful adults, offering thanks for having made a difference in their lives.

Give college students a break in tuition!

Give America a school year without a mass shooting.

Give every person spending the holidays in the hospital a complete cure.

Give my friend Alvin Matthews a miracle that allows him to complete his next marathon on foot instead of in a racing wheelchair.

Instead of a “Fruit of the Month” gift subscription for the year, give California farmers a monthly delivery of a long, soaking rain.

Give every child a rainy day, a book, and no Internet for an entire day.

Give Mike and Bob Bryan one more Wimbledon title in 2017. Heck, since there’s two of them, add the U.S. Open title, too.

Give cyber bullies a ransom computer virus.

Give Russian hackers the same as above.

Give small local businesses a lot more of our business.

Give my author friends one week each on the best-seller’s list in 2017.

Give Ventura’s downtown parking meters the heave-ho-ho-ho.

Give all CEOs the heart and mindset of Yvon Chouinard, who had his company Patagonia donate all of its Black Friday profits – a whopping $10 million! – to environmental groups.

Give the hundreds of thousands of animal species currently on the way to extinction – scientists claim that literally dozens of species are disappearing daily! – a second chance.

Give anyone who is upset about the new law requiring grocery stores to charge 10 cents for a paper bag, a roll of dimes for when they forget their reusable bags.

Give Hillary a dose of serenity she’s surely lacking.

Give Trump a dose of wisdom he’s surely lacking.

Give Ventura County’s homeless year-round access to nightly shelter.

Forgive me, Santa, but give Heather Bresch – the CEO that quadrupled the price of the life-saving EpiPen from $56 per pen to $317 – a severe peanut allergy.

If the Los Angeles Rams are going to keep playing like they did this season, give them back to St. Louis.

Give children fewer critics and more encouragement.

Give protestors of the Dakota Access Pipeline more portable heaters and less tear gas.

Give women equal wages as men as well as equal representation in public office, tech jobs, and CEO positions.

Give all our active soldiers, and veterans, our heartfelt gratitude – and speedier and better healthcare.

Give last-minute Christmas Eve shoppers (pronounced “procrastinators”) the patience of Job to maintain their sanity among the holiday crowds (pronounced “mobs”).

Give the Star’s Julius Gius Bellringer a record total in 2016 along with our sincere gratitude in the memory of the late, great editor and humanitarian Mr. Gius for creating this wonderfully worthy campaign 37 years ago.

Give all the kind-hearted people who donated to the Bellringer or to my annual “Woody’s Holiday Ball Dive” – an avalanche of 386 balls bounced in this year for disadvantaged kids – a big “thank you!” and good karma in 2017.

Give a Merry Christmas, Blessed Chanukah, Wonderful Kwanzaa or simply Happy Holiday to everyone!

Give my loyal readers, all 12 of you, the same as above.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden&Me_cover_PRCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

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Column: A Christmas Story

by Woody

Visiting Santa in a Nick of Time

 

            Seeing children visiting Santa at the mall the other day made me wonder what they are asking for – Xbox One, Razor Crazy Cart, and Big Hugs Elmo top the Toys“R”Us 2013 hot toys list – and also got me to reminiscing.

 

The winter I was five there was only one thing I wanted for Christmas. No, not a bike or baseball mitt. I already had a twice-hand-me-down two-wheeler with coaster brakes that could skid on a dime and a thirdhand mitt better than brand new because it had been broken-in to supple perfection by my two older brothers.Santa

 

What I wanted was a rope. Moreover, for some reason it had to reach from the far wall of the dining room across the house to the kitchen’s furthest wall.

 

            Mom had always taken us to Lazarus Department Store to see Santa; always on the very first day he arrived; and always she came home on the edge of a nervous breakdown after trying to keep three rambunctious young boys in line – and in line – for an hour.

 

But this year Pop promised Mom he would take us. As each day passed and Christmas drew nearer and nearer, he kept putting the visit off. When Jim, Doug and I started to whine, Pop took us aside and shared a big secret we were not to tell Mom.

 

            “If you go too soon,” he explained, “Santa sometimes forgets what you asked for. Think of all the kids he talks to. So the closer you wait until Christmas, the better the chances are Santa will remember who you are, where you live, and what you asked for. If we go see Santa on Christmas Eve afternoon, there is no way he will forget you.”

 

Pop’s real secret, of course, was this: There is no line whatsoever to see Santa on Christmas Eve afternoon because only a knuckleheaded parent would torture kids by making them wait so very long.

 

            Christmas Eve finally arrived, and sitting on Santa’s lap I said: “I want a rope that reaches all the way from the kitchen wall to the dining room wall.”

 

            “Ho-ho-ho. What else do you want, young man?”

 

            “That’s all, Santa. A long cowboy rope.”

 

            Like my parents, and Saint Nick, you surely are wondering, “Why a rope?”

 

            Gee whiz, to make a lasso for roping our dog Mac and swing from a tree like Tarzan and play Batman by making foot traps to catch Penguin and Joker (my big brothers) and a thousand other things.

 

            When we returned home from our Lazarus excursion a half-hour later – the 10-minute drive each way included – Mom shot Pop a stare that would freeze Prestone and scolded: “I told you that you waited too long! Santa was gone and now don’t you feel terrible? I’m so sorry kids … ”

 

            Pop: “They saw Santa.”

 

            Jim, Doug and me (in happy unison): “We didn’t even have to wait in line!”

 

            I’m guessing Mommy didn’t kiss Santa Clause underneath the mistletoe that night.

 

            Early Christmas morning, we tore down the stairs and tore open our presents and inside one was a fat, silky-soft, white nylon rope, the tips of both ends melted coal black to prevent unraveling.

 

Before celebrating the glorious gift, I made Pop hold one end against the dining room wall while I marched across the house with the other end.

 

            Pop admitted many years later he was literally at the end of his rope in panic because he had not measured the actual distance between the two walls; he just went out and bought a generous length of the nicest rope he could find.

 

He also confesses that as I neared the far kitchen wall, and the rope began to grow taut, he pulled his end away from the dining room wall about two feet – which, in my excitement, thankfully went unnoticed by me.

 

Indeed, I not only thought Santa came through meeting my exact specifications but I was certain this was because we waited until Christmas Eve afternoon to see him so my gift request was fresh in his mind.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for the Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. His new memoir WOODEN & ME is available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com and Amazon.com.