Trophy Generation is older than you think

“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”

            Some complaints never change, although if Socrates made his above cavil today he would surely add, “And why do kids always get awarded trophies?”

            Interestingly, this latter grievance about the Millennial Generation and Generation Z is often made by men remarried to young “trophy” wives or women wearing jewels they didn’t get for winning a 5K race or tennis tournament. Indeed, Boomers and Gen X might be the real Trophy Generations. But I am getting ahead of myself.

            It has become a regular occurrence writers and TV talking heads to publicly take today’s youth to task for being raised on praise, feeling entitled, being lazy, loving luxury (and video games), having bad manners and gobbling up their junk food.

These generalities are, to quote Wonderland’s Alice, “stuff and nonsense.” Sure, plenty of kids are spoiled punks – and thus it has always been as Socrates suggests – but so are a lot of adults.

            Most recently, Ashley Merryman, co-author of “NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children” went all Socrates on kids in an Op-Ed essay in the New York Times headlined: “Losing Is Good For You.”

            Merryman un-merrily opened her missive: “As children return to school this fall and sign up for a new year’s worth of extracurricular activities, parents should keep one question in mind. Whether your kid loves Little League or gymnastics, ask the program organizers this: ‘Which kids get awards?’ If the answer is, ‘Everybody gets a trophy,’ find another program.”

            You would think trophies are as dangerous as extra chunky Jif is to a school kid with a peanut allergy.

            Merryman continued: “Today, participation trophies and prizes are almost a given, as children are constantly assured that they are winners.”

            And: “If I were a baseball coach, I would announce at the first meeting that there would be only three awards: Best Overall, Most Improved and Best Sportsmanship. Then I’d hand the kids a list of things they’d have to do to earn one of those trophies. They would know from the get-go that excellence, improvement, character and persistence were valued.”

            Here’s the thing: kids aren’t stupid despite what some clueless adults think. Kids know that excellence, improvement, character and persistence are valued. They also know that receiving a participation trophy at an AYSO season-ending banquet doesn’t mean they were their team’s superstar.

The same may not be said for many adults who equate driving a flashy, expensive car with being an MVP. And isn’t the workplace replete with participation trophies like reserved parking spaces and Christmas bonuses awarded for time on the job rather than job excellence?

If prizes should be given only to “Best Overall” or for true “excellence,” then aren’t today’s adults showered with undeserved trophies considering everyone who finishes a marathon – even if they walk the entire way – receives a medal the size of a hubcap? How is this different than a Little League “participation trophy” or a “participation certificate” in a school spelling bee?

Another curmudgeonly “Hey-kids-get-off-my-lawn!”-like complaint Merryman and her ilk make is that today’s youth feel entitled to good grades. I’m guessing that Merryman – like most every employee between the ages of 30 and retirement in all professions – feels they have been greatly wronged upon receiving anything less than a sterling annual work review.

Merryman concludes: “. . . we need to refuse all the meaningless plastic and tin destined for landfills. We have to stop letting the Trophy-Industrial Complex run our children’s lives. This school year, let’s fight for a kid’s right to lose.”

A plastic trophy isn’t meaningless – nor all meaning. It’s merely a nice memento, like a team photo or 10K finisher’s medal.

This school year, let’s fight for a kid’s right to have adults lose the Socrates-like contemptuous chip on their shoulders.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for the Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. His new memoir WOODEN & ME is now available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com and Amazon.com.