Portraits of a Brave Role Model

1StrawberriesCoverWooden&Me_cover_PRFor a Personalized Autographed copy of STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

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Portraits of a Brave Role Model

Bravery comes in many forms. Diving into rough seas to save a person from drowning, or rushing into a burning building while others are running out, are classic examples.

Speaking up against peer pressure requires bravery, as does standing up to a bully.

My lovely friend, Delaney Rodriguez, is a portrait of bravery for posting four photos of herself on Facebook. How could sharing some selfies be a courageous act, you ask?

Well, two of the pictures, head-to-heel front and side views, are from three years – and 30 fewer pounds – ago. She looks like a fitness model.1bodyshame

The other two pictures, same revealing angles, are recent. Many will at first see the added weight, and that is the side-by-side purpose, but after reading Delaney’s accompanying words, something else comes into clear focus: she looks like a role model.

Delaney is standing up to a bully known as body shaming.

Teenage girls, as well as women in their mid-20s like Delaney herself, and women of all ages beyond, will find inspiration in her story.

Perhaps most of all, boys and men need to be enlightened from Delaney’s powerful message below.

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“So. This is definitely the most vulnerable I have ever been on the Internet, so please friends, be kind.

“To most people, the girl on the left looks healthy. That was me almost 3 years ago and it was the best shape I’ve been in. I was fit according to my weight, BMI, etc. I ate super healthy and took classes from cycling to TRX to barre method. I lifted, I would run, and do various cardio intervals.

“But while I looked great on the outside, it’s hard for me to look at those pictures because I know how sad that girl was. I worked out about 6 days a week for no less than about 2 hours, with one day a week working out for over 3 hours of nonstop cardio and resistance training. On top of that, if my diet veered off at all from my strict guidelines, I would completely shut down.

“I want to be clear, there are athletes who live by rules like that and that is totally okay. The problem was that I didn’t run my own life; my obsession with this idea of perfection ran my life. I got to a weight and a size that was supposed to make me happy and I was miserable. I became a shell of myself and I was constantly searching for outside things to make me happy and still I thought I was fat.

“And the photos on the right are what I took when I was on my Tahoe vacation a couple weeks ago. I weigh at least 30 pounds more than I did in the first pictures (I’ve never been a big fan of scales).

“I still workout about 6 days a week, but my workouts now last between 45 minutes and just over an hour. I still follow a healthy diet.

“But now I enjoy my life, I have my fun with my family and friends, I go out to dinner with my husband. I love fitness in so many different forms and I want to take care of my body, but I also know I need to take care of my mind and emotional well being too.

“Friends, remember that everyone is living their own story, we all have our own struggles. Be kind to each other!”

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I asked Delaney, who confided she has struggled with anxiety, depression, and eating disorders since she was a teenager, why she decided to share her journey publicly.

“I’ve found that talking these things through with my friends and family helped me to realize that a lot of people feel this way,” she noted. “Nothing, not my weight or feelings of inadequacy, made me any less worthy of love and respect.”

“Hero” is an overworked word, but I believe Delaney is worthy of it.

Like she says, “Be kind to each other!”

Also, like she has learned to do, be kind to yourself.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden & Me Kickstarter Front PhotoCheck out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

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Column: An Unknown Hero

Wooden & Me Kickstarter Front PhotoWOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” can be purchased here at Amazon

 

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An Unknown Hero Among Heroes

For the first five days of August, I was in the august company of heroes in our nation’s capital.

Heroes like astronauts John Glenn and Neil Armstrong and earlier fliers like Charles Lindbergh and the Wright Brothers, all in the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum.1-arlington

Men and women, heroes, interred in Arlington National Cemetery, a heartbreaking landscape that is ironically beautiful.

My tour of heroes included monuments for those who served in World Wars I and II; the Korean War Memorial; and the Vietnam Memorial Wall.

In the National Archives I peered at Founding heroes like Benjamin Franklin and John Hancock’s faded “John Hancocks” on the original Declaration of Independence.

And, of course, there are the marble heroes in the National Mall: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Franklin D. Roosevelt and Martin Luther King, Jr.

Yet the hero who arguably engraved the deepest impression on me was one I encountered shortly after my late-night arrival at Ronald Reagan National Airport when I boarded the Metro Blue Line to my downtown D.C. hotel.

The first few minutes of the ride were quiet, sans the pleasant rhythmic sounds of the train itself, when suddenly came clamor.

A passenger facing me two rows ahead in the near-empty train car – a tall, sinewy man in his 20s, his bare arms covered with long sleeves of tattoos, his electrocuted blond hair making Einstein’s look tame – jumped from his seat like a jack-in-the-box. He shouted at a goateed man, about the same age as he although shorter and stockier, sitting across the aisle.

Apparently the goateed man had “disrespected” the mangy tattooed man’s dog. In a flash the two men were nose-to-nose although only the tattooed man spoke – or rather, shouted. He cursed at the goateed man; challenged his manhood; unleashed racial taunts. Exclamation marks punctuated his torrent.

At any second I expected weapons to come out and I don’t think I was alone; a young woman facing me across the aisle looked absolutely petrified. As the vile racial epithets from the crazed tattooed man intensified, I signaled with my eyes that she – we – should sneak out the door at the next stop.1-metro

Just then, THUMP! The goateed man unloaded a punch. And another and a third. Frankly, Gandhi might not have blamed him at this point. Meanwhile, the tattooed man’s large dog remarkably remained nonviolent.

In slow motion this is what I next witnessed: a baldheaded man with his back to the fray bolted from his seat and in one fluid motion spun 180 degrees into the aisle, took three lightening-quick strides and grabbed the goateed man from behind before he could throw a fourth punch. Breaking apart two pit bulls would have required less courage.

It was as if Batman was aboard.

Sitting beside his gray-haired wife, the baldheaded man had been as unimposing as Bruce Wayne: he was wearing peach slacks and a white sweater and appeared old enough to receive Social Security.

Once he rose, however, the Teddy bear came into focus like a grizzly. If not a former NFL linebacker, my guess is he was once an Army sergeant or perhaps a retired police officer for he exuded the authority of both.

After getting between the combatants who were now both screaming bloodily at each other, the baldheaded man barked commands: “Knock it off! Now! Get out of here! Now! Before you get arrested!”

All the while the baldheaded man strode forward slowly and wide-footed, a heavyweight boxer backing up a foe, herding the goateed man towards the exit door as a German Shepherd would direct a sheep.

At the next stop the goateed man and tattooed man both got off; the baldheaded man returned to his gray-haired wife’s side; and the rest of us in the train car breathed easier.

When my stop came, I used the exit door furthest from me but nearer the baldheaded man.

“Thanks,” I said, shaking his hand. “You’re a hero.”

He smiled humbly, but appreciatively, and almost as widely as did his wife.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Check out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”