Tag Archives: cookies

It’s Girl Scouts Cookie Time!

by Woody

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM: @woodywoodburn

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Unwelcomed Solicitors,

and Two Welcomed Ones

If you are like me, you have too many salespeople knocking on your front door.

Solar panels, cable TV and satellite services, house painting and more are all pitched. “We can save you money,” they say.

And: “We just installed (fill-in-the-product) for your neighbors and knew we’d be doing you a favor by interrupting your dinner to let you know!”

I try to be polite with my “No, thanks” although the other day I fell short.

The incident occurred shortly after we had a drought-resistant landscape completed in our front “yard.” Featuring a cornucopia of cactuses, succulents, flowers, a new tree, and a dry riverbed of rock, I half-expect a photographer for “Sunset” magazine to ring our doorbell.

Instead, it was a solicitor asking if I wanted him to mow our lawn.

“You just walked past that desert landscaping – do you see any grass?” I asked, sarcasm dripping at a far heavier flow than the new underground irrigation system.

On rare occasions, however, I do welcome a salesperson at my door. Specifically, this time of year when it’s a Girl Scout hawking cookies.

While I’m still waiting for this year’s annual Samoas and Tagalongs sales calls, let me share a memorable visit from a year past. Two or three Girl Scouts, each more adorable than the previous, had already capitalized on my sweet tooth. After nineteen years in the same house, I think the young green-vested army knows I’m a pushover.

Early one evening yet another Thin Mints-selling soldier came knocking. Surprisingly, however, it was a boy selling Girl Scout Cookies.

As if reading my mind, he told me he wasn’t a Girl Scout but his sister was. He was helping her because this was the last day of sales and she hadn’t reached her goal.

“She fell off her skateboard and hurt her hands,” the boy explained.

Perhaps it was a con and I was being played for a sucker, but I nevertheless excused myself to retrieve my wallet. When I returned, the brother had been joined by his sister.

Not only was the skateboard injury real, it was fresh. “It happened today,” she told me, holding out both hands, palms up. Each was badly skinned and looked painful.

I learned that she was 12 and her brother 9. Even better, I learned they were “best friends” according to him and she nodded in agreement.

I glanced over their shoulders at their mother waiting watchfully in the car and called out: “You must be very proud of these two.”

She smiled so widely it was like she shouted, “Yes, of course I am! Thank you!”

I asked the sister and her tagalong – actually, I suppose it was the other way around in this instance – how much the cookies cost, forgetting from my earlier orders that they are $5 each.

I requested two boxes, but after pulling out a $20 bill thought the better of it and said: “Make it four boxes.”

Simultaneously they nearly sang: “Four boxes, really?”

I wish you could have seen the joy on their shining faces. If you had, you would understand why I had third thoughts and added a fifth box of Shortbread to the previous four Samoas.

The bookend smiles widened until they almost touched.

“You know what?” I said, riding their happiness like a surfer on a perfect wave. “Let’s double my order.”

I don’t remember how long it took to finish those 10 boxes of cookies, but I won’t forget that brother and sister. I sure hope they both come knocking on my door again this Girl Scout Cookie season.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Check out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

Scouts Bring Out My Cookie Monster

by Woody

STRAW_CoverWoody’s highly anticipated new book “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” is NOW available! Order your signed copy HERE!

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Scouts Bring Out a Cookie Monster

Hello, my name is Woody and I am a Girl Scout Cookie-holic.

My recovery is not going well.

A year ago, I went cold turkey and was doing great for about 10 months. But, once again, as springtime has approached I have fallen off the wagon. And landed hard.

In the past few weeks I have eaten a couple months’ worth of Somas and Tagalongs, with an occasional box of Shortbread/Trefoils mixed in.1cookies

It doesn’t help that I run into Cookie dealers outside the grocery store. The Cookie dealers even come knocking on my front door. It’s not fair.

Making the matters more impossible, the Cookie dealers are always cuter than a puppy, with eyes as big as Thin Mints and smiles that shine – sometimes literally sparkling with braces, which makes them all the more irresistible.

Like a full moon turning a man into a werewolf, Girl Scouts selling their edibles transform me into the Cookie Monster.

My willpower is as overwhelmed as a sandcastle against high tide. I crumble and find myself making extra trips to the ATM. I add an extra mile, or three, to my daily run so my pants will still fit. This is March Madness.

I am actually faring a little better this year thanks to an assist from my adult daughter. Below, in Dallas’ own words, is her strategy that might help you too.

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It’s Girl Scout Cookie Season!

Every time I run errands, or simply drive around town, I see them: tables set up with glittery posters and a rainbow of colorful cookie boxes, and girls in green uniforms, cheerfully and patiently selling their wares.

Girls in ponytails and braids.

Girls with braces and girls with gap-toothed smiles.

Girls who remind me of my friend, Céline; who fill my heart and break it at the same time.

Céline, who died far too young, was an extremely proud Girl Scout. And a loyal one: every year in college, she would take cookie orders from us to support her old troop.

Céline even kept boxes of Thin Mints in the freezer. I’ve always been partial to the Samoas.

These days my eating habits are a lot healthier than they were back in college. Which causes a problem: I want to support entrepreneurial Girl Scouts, but I simply don’t want a bunch of cookies in my pantry.2cookies

This is not to suggest I only eat kale and not an occasional cookie. I think it is good to enjoy both – just not together, in my opinion.

In any case, whether you plan to buy one or 100 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies, here is a guaranteed way to make a Girl Scout smile. This is something Céline learned from her experience as a Girl Scout and something she would do whenever she came across a green-vested girl selling cookies.

It is now something I do in my late friend’s honor – one of my favorite ways to remember her, in fact.

Step One: Ask the Girl Scout what her favorite cookie flavor is. She will, of course, think you are asking her for advice about which kind of cookie you should try.

Step Two: Buy a box of whatever her favorite type of cookie is.

Step Three: Hand the box back to her and explain it is a gift for her to enjoy. Here is what I say: “My friend was a Girl Scout and she told me how hard it was to be selling all these cookies without being able to eat any yourself. So these are a treat for you to have. Keep up the great work!”

Step Four: Enjoy all the warm fuzzies filling you up inside.

One Final Note: This is not only a way to make a Girl Scout smile – it is a guaranteed way to make yourself smile, too.

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Me again. I have added my own Step Five: Buy a second box of Samoas and a third box of Tagalongs for myself. I’ll restart my recovery next month.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden&Me_cover_PRCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

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