“Get To” Slam Dunks “Have To”

by Woody

STRAW_CoverWoody’s highly anticipated new book “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” is NOW available! Order your signed copy HERE! 

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“Get To” Better Perspective Than “Have To”

Abraham Lincoln put things into perspective as wonderfully as anyone, as he so often did, when he observed: “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”

A recent lunch companion, also making the point that proper perspective is everything, put it this way: “I felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.”1masterpiece

His words were more than repeating a familiar maxim because he has helped people in danger of losing their feet. Specifically, he has treated Ethiopian villagers suffering from mossy foot, a disease that causes massive swelling of the feet. It is not only physically debilitating, it can cause the afflicted person to become a social outcast.

Cleft palate is another physical ailment that can turn a life upside down – and something that another of my recent luncheon companions has helped treat in Kenya.

In fact, most of the ROMEOs – Retired Old Medics Eating Out – who invited me to eat out with them at their monthly get-together have in the past made humanitarian medical trips to Africa.

Now in their 70s, 80s and 90s, these retired local physicians seem to rejoice that thorn bushes have roses.

“I am at the point in my life where I really do see each day as a masterpiece,” one told me, echoing a John Wooden maxim.

Another shared this: “I have my aches, but at least I’m still alive to ache.”

A couple hours later, the blessing of feeling aches hit home when I saw a friend who had just finished a swim workout. I asked him how the pool temperature was and he replied matter-of-factly: “I don’t know – because of my paralysis I can’t feel the water.”

Perspective refocused.

It was also refocused during my daily run recently when a nagging injury flared up. As my pace slowed and my muttering sped up, I crossed paths with a friend and stopped to say hi.

After our brief visit, I had a new perspective on my tight hamstring because my friend is battling a real foe, cancer – again – yet his smile and upbeat nature would never reveal as much.

As my Grandpa Ansel liked to say, “Most of us don’t have to look very long before we see someone who has bigger challenges than we do.”

Same run, now with a renewed bounce in my stride, I came upon a retired couple I often see walking their dog. Lucy, a border collie, has been very frail in recent months and now she was not with them.

Again I paused for a quick visit and while my worst suspicions proved true – Lucy died a couple weeks ago at age 15 – the couple was very happy to introduce me to their new adorable border collie puppy, Finley.

Once more I restarted my run with a refocused perspective.

Here is how a dear friend shifts her perspective when she feels like complaining about having to exercise, or having to cook dinner, or having to go to a work meeting she wishes she could skip.

“I change the ‘have to’ to ‘get to,’ ” she explains. “I ‘get to’ go to the gym. I ‘get to’ cook a meal I like. I ‘get to’ go to work. A lot of people have an ailment that prevents them from exercising. A lot of people are homeless and don’t have a kitchen. A lot of people want a job.”

Another friend was dreading a visit to the doctor to have blood drawn the other day. Her high anxiety was because she has tiny veins that nurses never seem to hit cleanly until the third or fourth try.

But a friend of hers provided a new perspective, an I ‘get-to’ perspective, by pointing out what a privilege it is to have access to healthcare. Think of the refugees in the Middle East, the friend said.

Or African villagers with mossy foot.

At the ROMEO lunch, I ordered a turkey sandwich with no mayonnaise. Instead, it came with extra mayo. It was delicious.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

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