Column: Offering My 2 Cents

by Woody

My new memoir WOODEN & ME is available here at Amazon

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Nobody Asked, But Here’s My 2 Cents

Prince William and Kate didn’t ask me, but while Charlotte Elizabeth Diana is a lovely name, they missed a royal opportunity – all the more so with the planned release this year of the new movie “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” – by not naming their daughter Princess Leia.

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The late Huell Howser is still "California's Gold."

The late Huell Howser is still “California’s Gold.”

Nobody asked me, but watching reruns of the late and beloved Huell Howser’s “California’s Gold” makes me both sad and happy. He was an a-MAZE-ing talent.

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Those “Watch Your Speed” radar signs along some roads are a good idea except when there are two lanes each direction, often with cars traveling different speeds, because there is no way to know which car the radar is flashing a speed for.

Caltrans didn’t ask me, but it needs to paint a marker on the road to show where the radar is focused.

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Does anyone else find it silly when TV news reporters appear to be going though some kind of fraternity hazing by reporting in (pick one: a snow bank, sideways driving rainstorm, high surf crashing over a sea wall, hurricane winds)?

And how about the crazies who “photo-bomb” in the background during these live TV weatherperson initiations?

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Boston Marathon Bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev admitted guilt in the courtroom before his trial started so does anyone agree with Woody The Dunce that it seemed like a waste of money and time, such as sending the jurors on a field trip to the boat he was hiding in when shot and captured, to drag the proceedings out for weeks – and now doing similarly with the penalty phase?

The judge didn’t ask me, but if the U.S. Supreme Court hears about an hour of testimony for a case, I say this trial and penalty determination should have been limited to the four hours it takes many runners to complete the Boston Marathon.

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Christmas arrived in May for me when I received the kindest email from Paul Olmsted saying my annual “Woody’s Holiday Ball Drive” inspired him to personally give new tennis rackets to the first 50 kids ages 10 and under who sign-up for the upcoming USTA youth lessons program at Buena High School running from June 22 to July 13.

(To register a youth ages 6 to 17, or for more information, call 805-630-9269 or email olmstedp2001@yahoo.com.)

Olmstead, who played at Arizona State and is a former president of the Ventura Tennis Club and assistant coach at Ventura High, says he simply wants to help more kids take up the great sport.

Nobody asked me, but for $10 you can sponsor the signup fee for a kid in need and for and $25 you can also buy an extra gift racket. Checks made out to Ventura Tennis Club can be sent to Ventura Tennis Club, P.O. Box 3005, Ventura, CA 93006.

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The National PTA and National Education Association didn’t ask me, but it says here that Teacher Appreciation Week should have been a full seven days instead of limited to this past Monday through Friday – after all, most teachers spend part of their weekend grading papers and making lesson plans.

Therefore, I encourage everyone to extend the celebration a couple days by sending a letter or email to a teacher who encouraged you; inspired you; helped you turn your life around; in short, who made a life-changing difference in who you are today.

Another great way to say thanks is to make a donation – such as by going to donorschoose.org and searching by ZIP Code – and support a classroom in Ventura County.

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Here is a great thing about being an “adult” (my wife claims I am unqualified to know since I generally behave like I’m 12) – having a generous slice of leftover pumpkin pie for breakfast.

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A handwritten message on a Post-it Note that has been up for a full school year on an otherwise bare refrigerator in the apartment of four grad students I know always makes me smile when I visit: “Don’t forget to smile!”

Nobody asked me, but that’s good advice always.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”