Woody’s new novel “The Butterfly Tree” is available at Amazon (click here), other online retailers, and orderable at all bookshops.

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From Woody’s column archives, December of 2017, the sentiments ever as true now during the devastating wildfires in Southern California…

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When the Thomas Fire burned my father’s home down to the ground, my boyhood bedroom went up in flames.

Lost, among more valuable heirlooms, were posters of Jerry West and John Havlicek, Arthur Ashe and Bjorn Borg, Bart Starr and Leroy Kelly, and other heroes from my youth.

After the apocalyptic air cleared of smoke and ash, this clarity came: How misguided to consider someone a hero because he can hit a jump shot in the clutch, zip a backhand passing shot, throw a touchdown spiral.

Today, the poster I would want to hang up is an enlargement of a photograph I saw from the atrocious Thomas Fire. It is picture of a true hero. A firefighter.

Striding boldly through dense smoke filled with floating embers aglow, he is faceless behind a helmeted oxygen mask. His firesuit resembles an astronaut’s lunar spacesuit, except instead of pristine white it is soot-smudged tan with neon-green-and-silver reflective stripes.

The firefighter clutches a crowbar in one black-gloved fist, a red-bladed axe in the other. Deacon Jones, from another boyhood poster turned to charred dust, never looked more fearsome. The firefighter is ready for real battle, not the gridiron kind.

Hercules’ second labor was to defeat Hydra, a monster so devilish that every time the mythical Greek god chopped off one head, two would grow back. The Thomas Fire mercilessly seemed to multiply similarly.

Thousands of real-not-mythical heroes have been laboring to defeat this Pyra beast. Heroes from throughout California and also Arizona, Colorado, Oregon, Utah, Idaho, and Washington.

Not only do firefighters, and other first responders, put their lives on the line – and frontline – helping others, but something that often goes underappreciated is they are thus absent from their own loved ones during times of calamity.

Another poster-worthy photograph taken during this Cal-amity features the black silhouette of a lone firefighter against an orange inferno backdrop, heading towards the flames because that is what these brave heroes do.

If the world were fair and just, firefighters – not superstar athletes – would be on bedroom posters and have multimillion-dollar salaries. Like pro athletes, firefighters too often wind up with prematurely broken bodies; often scarred lungs as well.

Firefighters should wear capes, like Superman or Batman, for they are real-life superheroes. I did not know it at the time, but I was boyhood friends with two such future superheroes and manhood friends with a third firefighter.

Thinking of Don and James and Hall, and their brave brethren, I am reminded of a parable about a man tossing starfish, one by one by one, back into the ocean after hundreds had been washed ashore by a fierce storm.

A second beachcomber walks up and says dismissively, “You’re wasting your time. There are too far many beached starfish for you to make a difference.”

Likewise, there have been far too many threatened homes and buildings for firefighters to possibly save them all, yet they battle on as indefatigably as the tide. If asked why, I imagine their answer would be the same that the first man on the beach gave while tossing a single starfish into the water: “I cannot save them all, but to this one I’m making a world of difference.”

One more photo: a small girl, wearing a disposable respiratory mask, stands in front of her family’s front door on which she has written, in neat block letters, in chalk of pink and orange and blue and yellow, with an added red heart: “Dear Firefighters, Thank You For Saving Our Home.”

I wish every fire station had a poster of it.

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Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody’s new novel “The Butterfly Tree” is now available in paperback and eBook at Amazon (click here), other online bookstores, and is orderable at all bookshops.

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Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can

Woody’s new novel “The Butterfly Tree” is available at Amazon (click here), other online retailers, and orderable at all bookshops.

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“Oh, you poor ol’ soul. Who let you out of the house alone and unsupervised?”

That was what the look conveyed, a tight-lipped smile of pity and eyes filled with warmheartedness, from a woman young enough to be my daughter upon seeing me standing in a stupor in the middle of Trader Joe’s.

Like Moses wandering the desert for 40 years, I had been roaming the aisles for the better part of 40 long minutes searching for a short shopping list of items still needed for a holiday dinner feast. Finally, my scavenger hunt was down to one thing: bottled Smartwater, which only made me feel dumber by the minute as I retraced my steps, lap after lap, through the store as hopelessly as someone looking for misplaced car keys in the same places again and again.

My befuddlement was largely my lovely wife’s fault. Because I really, really, really do not like to go shopping, a dislike bordering on phobia – bookshops and running shoe stores being exceptions – she has long enabled me by cheerfully handling this chore. As a result, on the rare occasions I pinch-hit grocery shopping, I am like a lab rat trying to navigate a difficult maze for the first time.

It is said that a blind squirrel can sometimes find an acorn, but when I finally located the cashews, hidden behind a tower of bread waiting to be shelved, I became paralyzed by the myriad choices: raw, roasted; unsalted, lightly salted, salted; whole, halved, diced. Not surprisingly, I chose the wrong ones. I do this routinely.

My aversion to grocery shopping is absolutely irrational, especially when I tell you that one of the funnest (not a widely accepted word, but should be) jobs I ever had was two summers in my teens as a box boy at the now long-defunct Noren’s Market.

An example of the fun: more than once after closing, and after the floors had been mopped and the shelves all restocked, a few of us – including the store owner’s adult son, whose idea it was – turned the cereal aisle into a bowling alley by using a sliding frozen turkey to knock down 10 metal canisters of whipped cream. Our ringleader laughingly confessed he once used quarts of milk as the pins, but that resulted in a “Mop-up on aisle 4!” mess. The bowling winner, as I recall, took home the bruised butterball.

Now. With my ego bruised by embarrassment, I thanked the helpful woman after she pointed out, almost apologetically, an expansive display of bottled waters that was in as plain sight as Mr. Poe’s purloined letter on a tabletop. In my defense, the stacked reservoir was beyond the checkout stations at the very front, not in the shopping aisles proper.

As a saving grace, I remembered to bring reusable grocery bags, sturdy ones that stand up and hold their shape like paper sacks of yore, and when a box boy/young man offered to help, I politely said, “I’ve got it.”

With the juggling drink-mixing flair of Brian Flanagan, the bartender character played by Tom Cruise in the movie “Cocktail,” I plucked the items off the conveyor belt with my right hand, flipped each airborne towards the open bags where my left hand caught-and-guided them into place, doing so with Tetris precision, filling them not too heavily nor too lightly, the dormant skill coming back to me as surely as riding a bike with nary a wobble.

“You’ve done this before,” the box boy/young man said with admiration, turning my frustrating excursion into a nostalgically happy one.

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Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody’s new novel “The Butterfly Tree” is now available in paperback and eBook at Amazon (click here), other online bookstores, and is orderable at all bookshops.

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Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn.

Woody’s new novel “The Butterfly Tree” is available at Amazon (click here), other online retailers, and orderable at all bookshops.

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Words fall shy, and greatly so, in expressing my gratitude to one and all who participated in this year’s “Woody’s Holiday Ball Drive.” The best I can come up with is this: whether you gave one ball, or many, you filled my heart with birdsong.

And no melody was sweeter than from Steve McFadden, who gave four balls in memory of his dad, Harold – aka “Coach Mac,” one of my all-time favorite teachers I had for three years in middle school – noting: “It always makes me smile to know a deserving child might have a little better Christmas. My dad would love to be part of your ball drive.”

Before revealing the finally 2024 tally, here are some more MVPs (Most Valuable Philanthropists) grouped numerically to save space…

Gary Sparks gave one ball “in honor of my brand-new first grandbaby, Eliana.” Marty Rouse also gave one ball, as did my newest grandbaby, Amara Larisa Woodburn.

Lauren Siegel donated three balls, as did Rick Estberg, and Sheila McCollum.

Dave Stancliff gave five balls, as did Fran and Kate Larsen, and Ann and Chuck Elliott did so “in memory of Bill Walton, who brought courage and joy to basketball. RIP Bill.”

Diane Hunn passed in a half-dozen balls, as did Rebecca Fox “in honor of Marty Robinson, this year’s recipient of the Outstanding Community Leader Award for the Boys and Girls Club of Greater Ventura.”

In a family affair, Toni and Jaime Santana, Trudy and Raymundo Arriaga, Gary Tuttle and Ruth Vomund, and Gayle and Leo Camalich gave eight balls “in honor of Coach Bob Tuttle and his biggest fan, Arlys Tuttle, who taught us four kids to always give life their best shot!”

Eight balls were also donated anonymously “in honor of Charles Yunker, longtime coach of Ventura Missionary School’s eighth-grade basketball team, who teaches his players to play with the great skill and effort but also to practice sportsmanship towards opponents, referees and fans.”

Sandie and Jim Arthur donated nine balls and a “Secret Santa” donated 10.

Elijah Ontiveros, and Brandon Kendlinger and Tommy Kendlinger gave 18 balls “in loving memory of their cousin and brother Michael Kendlinger.”

Jerry and Linda Mendelsohn took grandkids Dannika, Parker, and Joy to pick out 20 balls “for deserving kids and reminding our own why we do this every year” and 20 more balls were given by another Secret Santa in honor of former Star sportswriter Rhiannon Potkey who year-round gives sports equipment – and smiles – to disadvantaged kids through her nonprofit organization Goods4Greatness.

A handful of Samaritans sent a combined 22 balls that arrived without gift notes to identify the givers.

Patrons of The Goebel Adult Community Center in Thousand Oaks donated 68 balls and the Pleasant Valley-Somis-Camarillo Lions Club collectively gave 150.

In another group effort, a whopping 301 balls were given by the “A Team” of family members and friends who wished to be recognized by their first names only: Michael and Reina; Allen and Alast; Rachel and Mike; Rick and Nancy; Andy and Connie; Alma and Tomas; Shaun and Ruth; Dave; Dawn and Jim; Stan and Beth; Ron and Anita; Mike and Claudia; Wilfred; Tina and Chris; Pamela; Melissa and Todd; Michelle and Michael; John and Kelly; Deborah; Achilles and Caren; Tony; Lane; Kelly and Lisa; Rose and Jace; Ricky and Brenda; Les; Donna and Art; Phil and Charlene; Steve; Maddie; Juan; and Mom.”

And now, the final gift tally for 2024 is … drumroll, please … a record 1,344 new sports balls, surpassing last year’s previous high-water mark by more than 200 deserving children’s smiles!

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Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody’s new novel “The Butterfly Tree” is now available in paperback and eBook at Amazon (click here), other online bookstores, and is orderable at all bookshops.

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Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn.

Woody’s new novel “The Butterfly Tree” is available at Amazon (click here), other online retailers, and orderable at all bookshops.

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From Woody’s column archives, December, 2019…

Some Christmas stories are sweet as hot cocoa topped with melting marshmallows. This one ain’t. All the same, I would not trade it for the world – or even for a vintage mint-condition toy Matchbox car.

The year was 1966, wintertime in Ohio, and I bit my quivering lip trying with all the strength a 6-year-old can muster not to cry. I felt like I had found a rock in my Christmas stocking.

I was in first grade, in wonderful Mrs. Bauer’s classroom, in an era when elementary schools held gift exchange parties. I was to swap toys with Paul, a boy I did not know well because he was not in my circle of recess friends.

I knew one thing, however: I would buy Paul a Matchbox car. After all, all boys loved the popular tiny cars. I seem to recall Matchboxes cost about a dollar, which was probably the price ceiling for our gift-giving.

Mom took me to the five-and-dime where my two brothers and I spent our allowance money – we got a nickel for each year of age; hence I received 30 cents weekly at the time while my older siblings got 45 and 55 cents – on sports trading cards, comic books, and Matchbox racers.

I do not remember which specific car I picked out for Paul, but my best guess is a Mustang since that is what I surely would have wanted. Paul did not reciprocate with a cool Mustang or any other Matchbox. Nor did he give me a Batman comic or a few packs of baseball cards.

No, the gift I opened at our class party was a red-and-white Santa Claus figurine, made of hollow plastic and slightly larger than a coffee mug, on green snow skis. The toy bag on Santa’s back was empty, although it probably held candy when originally purchased. Even filled with Hershey’s Kisses or candy canes, Skiing Santa surely cost no more than my weekly allowance.

In other words, I swapped a precious metal Mustang for a lump of plastic coal.

While Paul and my best pals Dan, Bob and Bill – boys did not go by Daniel and Robert and William in the ’60s – were racing their new cool Matchbox cars across desktops around the classroom, I blinked back hot tears.

Admittedly not for the right reason, I suddenly did the right thing. Despite selfishly feeling sorry for myself, I started speeding my stupid Skiing Santa alongside the Matchbox cars. Truthfully, I was not trying to erase any embarrassment Paul might have felt for giving such a crummy gift; I simply did not want to feel left out.

When the bell for recess rang, Mrs. Bauer asked me to remain behind. I sat nervously at my desk having no idea what I had done wrong. When we were alone, my teacher sat beside me and said, as I remember it: “I’m proud of you for not showing your disappointment – that would have hurt Paul’s feelings. You gave him a very nice toy and you should be happy about that.”

Mrs. Bauer’s message, which I naturally did not understand at the time, was that it truly is better to give than receive.

I eventually became friends with Paul and will never forget a few sleepovers at his house: his socks always had holes in the toes; he shared a tiny bedroom with two sisters; and he had no dad – death, not a divorce.

Skiing Santa, I have since realized, might have been all Paul had to give, making it a dearer gift than a Matchbox Mustang.

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Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody’s new novel “The Butterfly Tree” is now available in paperback and eBook at Amazon (click here), other online bookstores, and is orderable at all bookshops.

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Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn.

Woody’s new award-winning novel “The Butterfly Tree” is available at Amazon (click here), other online retailers, and orderable at all bookshops.

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“The gift is to the giver and comes back most to him,” wrote the wise, and Santa Claus-bearded, Walt Whitman. “It cannot fail.”

Star readers who have given to “Woody’s Holiday Ball Drive” for local disadvantaged youth are experiencing the unfailing truth of Mr. Whitman’s sentiment. As Peggy and Paul Graham, who gave one each basketball, football, and soccer ball, noted: “This has become part of our holiday tradition and a source of pleasure for us. Widening the smile of a child is the ultimate reward.”

Here, grouped numerically to save space, are some more generous smile-givers…

Anna and Tom McBreen gave one ball, and the McAuley sisters – Maya, 6, and Auden, 2 – for their December birthdays each excitedly picked out a gift ball for children they will never know.

Bobbin and Steve Yarbrough gave two balls, as did Allison Johnson “to honor my brother Michael Demeter, who would like for those who can’t afford a ball to have the chance to dream.”

Elaine and Ken Lyle took three of their grandchildren – Joshua, Corbin, and Brynlee – to each choose one gift ball, as has become their shared tradition. Also giving three balls were Kathy and Ken McAlpine; Pam and Peter Carter; Signe Smale; and Peggy Brown “in honor of Kerry Karnes.”

Judy Magee-Windle donated four balls “in honor of my four grandsons who are the loves of my life”; Katherine and Frank Anderson also gave four; as did Thomas and Karyne Roweton.

David and Denise Thomas gave five balls; Jeff Barks, too; and Irma Paramo.

Glen Sittel donated six balls, noting: “It always feels great to help provide these wonderful gifts to the youth of our community.” Shelly and Steve Brown gave separate balls in honor of their six grandchildren; Bobbie and Dave Williams also gave six balls; as did Kelly Lanier. And Al and Carol Gross donated six basketballs, and a baseball glove, “in memory of Dick Utter” – Al’s basketball and baseball teammate at Ventura High in 1948 and 1949.

Marcy and Dave Erickson gave seven basketballs “in memory of Charlie Feyh, a longtime and well-loved girls’ basketball coach for VYBA and the Ventura Nets club team.”

Mary and Rick Whiting gave eight balls; as did Shelley and David Cole; and Steven and T Yamamoto.

The Bench Warmer, which serendipitously has on display a framed Lakers’ No. 23 jersey of Cedric Ceballos who helped inspire this ball drive long ago, gave nine balls “in memory of David Hilty”; Terry and Draza Mrvichin also gave nine balls; as did Lynne and Don Steensma.

Local coaching legends Mickey Perry and Joe Vaughan once again donated 10 basketballs, and in a similar annual tradition Ann Cowan likewise did so in memory of her late husband, Jim. Also giving 10 balls were Kym King; Susan Hall; Tim Hansen; Alan and Kathy Hammerand; and Kay Giles and Michael Mariani.

Steve Askay gave a dozen balls in memory of his late granddaughter, Mabel Rae, who was a role model for “extravagant love, kindness, and generosity.” Also giving a dozen balls were Carole Rowland; Scott Blaise; the crew at J & H Engineering; Chance, no last name given; Sally and Tom Reeder, calling it “one of our favorite experiences every December”; and an anonymous donor “in memory of two big Jims – Jim Woodburn and Jim Cowan – who left wonderful memories with us.”

The Bemis family donated 14 balls “in loving memory of Michael”; Roz Demaria gave 18 balls; and children at Trinity Lutheran Church in Ventura, after hearing Lennie Weinerth give a lesson on sharing one’s blessings, brought in 20 balls to share with children in need of a little TLC.

Julie and Chris Hein gave 24 balls “in memory of Jim Woodburn and Gramps Woodburn,” while Julie and Nick Sarris donated 41 balls “in memory of Sienna’s eternal spirit and Maya’s compassion for others.”

Mike and Bob Bryan, who have yet to meet a child they didn’t show great kindness to, and who have been loyal supporters of “Woody’s Holiday Ball Drive” every year without fail since Day 1, served up an array of 50 basketballs, soccer balls, volleyballs, and footballs.

With so many Whitman-hearted givers, this endeavor “cannot fail.”

To be continued for four more days…

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“Woody’s Holiday Ball Drive” ends Monday! New sports balls can be dropped off through Dec. 16, or online orders delivered to, Jensen Design & Survey at 1672 Donlon St. in Ventura, 93003. Please email me about your gifts at woodywriter@gmail.com so I can add your generosity to this year’s tally and acknowledge you in a future column.

* * *

Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody’s new novel “The Butterfly Tree” is now available in paperback and eBook at Amazon (click here), other online bookstores, and is orderable at all bookshops.

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Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn.

Woody’s new novel “The Butterfly Tree” is available at Amazon (click here), other online retailers, and orderable at all bookshops.

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With the Dodgers playing in the 2024 World Series this column, near the top of my archives from 2022, seems fitting to rerun today…

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As with every Dodgers fan—no, every baseball fan no matter their team affiliation—news of Vin Scully’s death at age 94 gripped my heart and squeezed my wife’s tear ducts. A moment later, we smiled and laughed.

Yes, laughter among the sorrow because we both reached far back to the time the home phone rang and my wife answered and the velvety voice on the other end of the line was unmistakable even before the caller identified himself.

Lisa, unaware I had been trying to set up an interview, didn’t believe here ears. “You aren’t Vin Scully,” she said after he gave his name, amused at one of my friends’ lame jokes…

…and hung up.

The phone promptly rang again, The Golden Voice again asked if I was home, and Lisa instantly realized her embarrassing mistake.

A few days later, I didn’t interview Scully so much as pull up a chair in his Dodger Stadium radio booth long before that night’s game and listen to his enchanted storytelling for an hour.

About a year later we crossed paths at a gala dinner honoring another Southland legend, Jim Murray, washing our hands in the restroom. Remarkably, Scully greeted me by name, but the greater display of his peerless people skills was his insistence I come meet his wife. In turn, I introduced him to Lisa—albeit without mentioning the phone hang up.

Scully’s geniality in person was as authentic as it was on the airwaves.

“I enjoy people, so I don’t mind autograph requests at all,” he told me. “Why not sign? They’re paying me a compliment by asking.”

And what were some of the stranger “compliments”?

“I’ve signed a lot of baseballs, as you can imagine,” he shared. “But also golf balls and even a hockey puck, which is sort of strange. Paper napkins seem popular, even dirty napkins – I think it’s all they have on hand. I don’t expect them to keep it, but I sign anyway because hopefully they will keep the moment.”

How many magical moments did Vin—didn’t he make us all feel like we knew him on a first-name basis?—give us during his 67 years behind the Dodgers’ microphone? Count the stars in the sky and you might have the answer.

Here is another of my favorite personal moments that I keep wrapped in red velvet. Our interview concluded, I asked The Greatest Sports Broadcaster Ever if he would put me in the batter’s box in Dodger Stadium. Oh, how I wish I had recorded his imaginary call of my one-and-only Major League at-bat.

In my mind’s ear, nonetheless, I can hear it still as he announced me digging in at the plate to face the great fireballer, Bob Gibson, who promptly brushed me back with the first pitch: “Gibson says, ‘Welcome to the Big Leagues, Mr. Woodburn,’ ” said Scully.

Next pitch, I swung at a fastball after it was already in the catcher’s mitt, yet somehow “the tall, lanky kid from Ventura”—for I was magically no longer approaching 40 years old—fouled off a couple pitches and eventually worked the count full, 3-and-2.

Scully ended my fantasy with a wink, not a home run. Like “Casey at the Bat”, mighty Woody struck out. It was perfect.

Perfect, too, was Scully’s succinct answer when asked how he would want God to greet him in heaven: “Well done.”

Well done, Vincent Edward Scully. Well done, indeed.

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Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody’s new novel “The Butterfly Tree” is now available in paperback and eBook at Amazon (click here), other online bookstores, and is orderable at all bookshops.

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Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn.