Author Archives: Woody

Pilgrimage to ‘Authors Ridge’

by Woody

 Woody’s new book STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME: STRAW_CoverEssays on Life, Love, and Laughter is available for Pre-Order HERE NOW!

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Pilgrimage to Bridge and ‘Authors Ridge’

This is the second in a four-column series on my recent travels to the Eastern Seaboard to visit my son – and visit much more.

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1NoethBridge

The Old North Bridge, in Concord, Mass.

Sixty miles north of Plymouth Rock, I made a pilgrimage to another “ground zero” in American history: the Old North Bridge in Concord, Mass., where the Revolutionary War erupted on April 19, 1775.

The replica bridge, like Plymouth Rock, proved much smaller in person than anticipated. Also, similarly, it made my imagination whirl as I surveyed the landscape, my sight rising from the Concord River to the high ground where the Minute Men held the advantage.

Surprisingly, a different ridge proved to be a higher highlight for me.

On our rental-car drive to the Old North Bridge, my wife and I made a short detour to Sleepy Hollow Cemetery. Specifically, to the upper area near the back called “Authors Ridge.”

1AuthorsRidgeIt is a fitting name because on this picturesque-as-a-thousand-words tree-shaded ridge, all within an acorn’s toss of each other, are the graves of four significant 19th Century American authors: Nathaniel Hawthorne, Louisa May Alcott, Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau. Call it Ridge Rushmore.

First up is the Thoreau family plot which has a shared monument stone the size of a chest of drawers bearing the names, birth dates and dates of death of parents John and Cynthia D., as well as their offspring John Jr., Helen L., Henry D. (Born July 12, 1817, Died May 6, 1862) and Sophia E.

Surrounding the monument are six small headstones, each barely bigger than a hardcover book, reading: Mother, Father, Sophia, John, Helen and …

… Henry.

How perfect this is, for as he famously advised during his life: “Simplify, simplify.” No dates. No full name. Simply “HENRY” in all caps.

Modest be it, Henry’s marker readily stands out for it is decorated like a Christmas tree, albeit instead of with ornaments and lights it is adorned with a classroom’s worth of pens and pencils of various colors leaning against it, some with messages and names – “Thank You” and “Bless You” and “Anna” and “Steven” on this day – written on them by worshipers who made the pilgrimage to pay homage.

This shows you how very small, and simple, HENRY's marker is.

This shows you how very small, and simple, Thoreau’s HENRY marker is.

Originally, I left behind a pen but quickly thought the better of it and instead balanced a yellow No. 2 pencil – after writing “Simplify” and “Woody” on it – for in addition to being a writer, poet, philosopher, naturalist and surveyor, Thoreau was a renowned pencil maker.

The headstone for the author of “The Scarlet Letter” is slightly larger than Henry’s marker, and rests upon a pedestal, yet it too is simple, reading only: Hawthorne. It also has a few pens left at its base, as well as coins and stones balanced upon its arched top.

A flat rectangular stone, whitened by the elements and flush to the ground, marks the grave of Louisa M. Alcott, author of “Little Women.” A Union nurse during the Civil War, Alcott’s grave also has a small American flag, the sort a child might wave curbside at a Fourth of July parade, with a “U.S. Veteran” medallion on its staff. Expectedly, the site is graced with a collection of pencils and pens.

Ralph Waldo Emerson’s gravestone, meanwhile, is a refrigerator-sized hunk of beautiful raw granite. Attached is a copper plaque, long ago having turned a handsome green patina, decorated with four flowers on top and below reading: Ralph Waldo Emerson / Born in Boston May 25 1803 / Died in Concord April 27 1882.

Lastly, the plaque quotes this line from his poem “The Problem” –

“The passive Master lent his hand / To the vast soul that o’er him planned.”

The problem of where to place pens and pencils to honor the word master Emerson has been solved by admirers who have wedged pennies and dimes between the plaque and granite, some of the coins at 90-degree angles to form mini-shelves. So it was I balanced the pen originally intended for Thoreau’s marker.

Leaving “Authors Ridge”, breathtaking in both its beauty and literary hallowedness, this line from Thoreau came fittingly to mind: “Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.”

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

Column: America’s Rock of Ages

by Woody

 Woody’s new book STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME:STRAW_Cover Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter is available for Pre-Order HERE NOW!

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Visiting America’s Rock of Ages

This is the first in a four-column series on my recent travels to the Eastern Seaboard to visit my son – and visit much more.

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Printed in red letters on a white background, the poster-sized wooden sign reads: “Welcome To The 17th Century.”

Meanwhile, 20 yards from where I stood at “Plimouth Plantation” – Plymouth purposely spelled phonetically the way Governor William Bradford did in the 1600s – stood a red vending machine with familiar white script: Coca-Cola.

Plymouth Rock on display inside its zoo-like cage.

Plymouth Rock on display inside its zoo-like cage.

It was a microcosm of my visit to Plymouth, Mass: While trying to step back nearly 400 years in American history, one foot always seemed to remain firmly planted in the 21st Century.

For instance, the Mayflower II, a replica of the famous ship the Pilgrims sailed on to America in 1620, is docked beside motorboats with sleek modern sailboats cruising in the backdrop.

Still, if you narrow your aperture on the full-scale reproduction (about 100 feet long and 25 feet wide), you realize the Mayflower was extremely small to carry 102 passengers in the cargo hold – plus 30 crewmen on deck. Indeed, what a cramped, claustrophobic, courageous journey their 66 days at sea must have been.

With a dose of imagination, the Mayflower comes into focus like a wooden Apollo 11 with two tall masts. Stepping onto Plymouth Rock, as legend claims the Pilgrim party did, was arguably a bigger leap for mankind than Neil Armstrong’s first lunar footprint 349 years later. After all, those 102 Pilgrims have an estimated 32 million descendants today while the population on the moon remains zero.

Looking down at the Roman-like structure that houses Plymouth Rock.

Looking down at the Roman-like structure that houses Plymouth Rock.

Consider just one passenger, John Howland. It is remarkable the ripples this single settler had on American history. In fact, world events actually hung on the single strand of rope Howland miraculously managed to grab hold of after falling overboard during a storm midway through the voyage.

Because Howland was rescued from the frigid Atlantic waters, he completed the journey; was one of 51 Pilgrims to survive the first winter of illness and hunger; and ultimately had more descendants than any of his fellow passengers.

Moreover, his descendants include U.S. presidents Franklin D. Roosevelt and both George Bushes. Also, literature’s Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and Ralph Waldo Emerson. None of these important figures would have been born had Howland perished before grabbing that fateful towline.

Leo Martin, a renowned historian, was our guide for a foot tour of all things Pilgrim. He dressed the part, wearing a brown felt hat and matching shirt with laces at the neck, tan knickers, red stockings and – Coca-Cola-like juxtaposition – modern walking shoes.

The two-hour field trip was far more fascinating than the classroom lectures of my youth. One nugget: Leo noted that Bradford brought 400 books on the Mayflower – more volumes than Harvard had when it was founded.

Our tour guide for all things Pilgrim, Leo Martin.

Our tour guide for all things Pilgrim, Leo Martin.

While the Pilgrim colony library was large, Plymouth Rock is not. Indeed, it underwhelms many largely because it is so small. Originally 15 feet long, three feet wide, and weighing 10 tons, what remains visible on shore today is only about the size of a queen mattress.

No matter. “The Great Rock” gave me goose bumps.

Plymouth Rock rests inside a steel cage, like a zoo animal almost, to protect it from thieves who would chip off souvenir chunks. Five feet above, at street level, the sacred site is surrounded by a beautiful open-air outdoor columned structure resembling a Roman temple.

A piece of Plymouth Rock is on display a few blocks away in Pilgrim Hall, America’s oldest continuously operating museum. Rubbing the stone is said to bring good luck, much like kissing Ireland’s Blarney Stone promises the gift of eloquence. I remain hopeful still of receiving both rewards.

Too, I have rubbed a tiny slice of moon rock in the Smithsonian’s National Air and Space Museum and, honestly, touching America’s Rock of Ages was an equal thrill. After all, if the story of Plymouth Rock is true and not apocryphal, then this modest boulder is ground zero for 21st Century America.

“I believe the Pilgrims did step on Plymouth Rock,” Leo told me, and I choose to believe him. As Hemingway wrote in The Sun Also Rises: “Isn’t it pretty to think so?”

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

‘My Three Sons,’ Starring Yogi

by Woody

 STRAW_CoverWoody’s new book “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” is available for Pre-Order HERE NOW!

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Growing Up:

Yogi starred in real-life “My Three Sons”

(This is a long-form piece I wrote a few years ago but seems fitting to share again today after Yogi Berra’s passing …)

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Yogi Berra, famous for his malapropisms, has often sounded like the “Absent-Minded Professor”, but the Fred MacMurray role that better suits him is as the TV father Steve Douglas in “My Three Sons.”

1yogiWhile Hollywood’s version was set in the Midwest and featured an aeronautical engineer and his sons Mike, Robbie and Chip, this real-life sitcom (and make no mistake, it was filled with laughs – like the “episode” where one of the Berra boys floods the bathroom!) took place in suburban New Jersey starring a major league baseball player and his sons Larry, Tim and Dale.

To be sure, Yogi Berra was never confused for a rocket scientist, but as a player he was out of this world. He was a New York Yankee, a superstar, a three-time American League MVP (1951, 1954, 1955) and fifteen-time All-Star. He would appear in a record fourteen World Series, win a record ten world championships, catch the only perfect game in Series history, and retire with more career home runs (358) at the time than any catcher in major league history. As a manager, he led the Yankees to the American League pennant in 1964 and the New York Mets to the National League pennant in 1973 – a year after he was inducted into the Hall of Fame as a player. In other words, Lawrence Peter “Yogi” Berra was an American icon.

Except in his own household.

“Dad was just Dad,” says Larry, the oldest son who is now 57. “I didn’t think of him as a celebrity.

“Our dad never acted like a celebrity,” Tim, 55, the middle son, wrote in the introduction of “The Yogi Book: I Didn’t Really Say Everything I Said” (Workman Publishing Company, 1999). “We have a famous father who prefers driving a Corvair to a Cadillac because it’s more practical. Who treats the man who pumps his gas or sells him his newspaper as a good friend.

Dale, 50, the youngest, agrees: “Growing up as Yogi Berra’s son just seemed normal. I had no perception of it being unusual. As a kid, I didn’t know it was not normal to go to spring training and meet different major league ballplayers. Only in retrospect can I see how special it was for Larry and Tim and me.”

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“Ninety percent of the game is half mental.”

– Yogi-ism

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 Going to spring training for the Berra boys was one-hundred percent fun.

“One of my favorite times was when I was 11 years old and went on a road trip by train,” Larry recalls, the 1960 memory still warming his heart nearly a half-century later. “I went to Boston and Baltimore and Washington – just me, not my brothers. It was the first year Roger Maris came to the team and I sat next to him and talked with him for three hours all the way to Washington. It was pretty sharp.”

Another sharp memory from that priceless trip: “My father and I went to breakfast with Bob Cerv and he asked my dad, `What are you going to do with Larry today?’

“Dad asked me what I wanted to do,” Larry continues. “I said I wanted to see the Washington Monument. Well, my dad wasn’t a sightseer.”

That day he was.

“We got a taxicab and Dad told the driver to call his boss – we kept the taxi all day,” Larry recalls. “We saw the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, the Jefferson Monument – everything in Washington I think we saw. It was sharp.”

While Yogi saw all those Capitol sights that day, something he almost always missed out on seeing were his three sons’ baseball games.

“Dad very rarely saw us play baseball,” notes Dale, a first-round draft pick and third baseman who played five seasons with the Pittsburgh Pirates (1977-1981). “His long baseball season made it next to impossible.”

“Dad only saw me play three organized ballgames my whole life,” says Larry, a catcher who starred at Montclair State University before having his professional career cut short by a severe knee injury his first season with the Mets organization in 1972.

“I was fielding a Baltimore chopper off the plate,” Larry remembers. “I ran out and yelled ‘I got it!’ I planted my foot but the pitcher slipped and collided into me. It blew my knee out.”

Reconstructive surgery couldn’t save his baseball career; he has a 14-inch scar on his knee as a reminder of what might have been. “My claim to fame was I was the first person to hit a professional home run off Ron Guidry,” says Larry, who today plays “tons” of softball on a knee his orthopedic surgeon says needs an artificial replacement. “I hit, hobble to first and get a (pinch) runner.”

The Guidry homer, however, ranks behind those rare times Yogi made it to Larry’s games.

“One time was against Rutgers and I went for 4-for-6 in a double header,” Larry beams. “Another game he saw, I hit a home run. I guess I played pretty good when Dad was watching.”

Make no mistake, Yogi watched a lot of his three sons’ games – just not baseball. “Dad followed all our other sports and made it to those games,” Larry points out.

“Our football and hockey games he’d always come watch,” echoes Dale, noting that Yogi encouraged the Berra boys “to play every sport – whatever was in season.”

That thinking resulted in Tim playing wide receiver at the University of Massachusetts and then being a late-round draft pick by the Baltimore Colts in 1974. He played one NFL season, returning 16 punts and 13 kickoffs – including one for 54 yards.

Dale shares a story that tells you how important the boys’ games were to Yogi. “Dad was always concerned about what we were doing. When he was managing the Mets in the (1973) World Series, my brother was playing college football. He wanted to know the score of the U-Mass game while the World Series game was in progress.”

The reverse was also true: the Berra boys missed most of their dad’s games.

“Dad didn’t want us around ballpark to watch him,” explains Dale. “He wanted us to go play our own games. `Get out and play,’ that was his message to us. You would NEVER miss your own game to see him play.”

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“If the people don’t want to come out to the ballpark,

nobody’s going to stop them.”

– Yogi-ism

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Make no mistake, Yogi didn’t always stop the Berra boys from coming out to the ballpark.

“It’s certainly easy to recall the lineup of memorable events that most kids wouldn’t have had the opportunity to experience,” Tim said in The Yogi Book. “The times we played catch with Elston Howard in front of the dugout of Yankee Stadium; or got dunked in the clubhouse whirlpool by Mickey Mantle; or got patted on the head by Casey Stengel as if we were favorite pets.”

Or catching Nolan Ryan fastballs. That’s a dear memory Larry cherishes from 1971. Then a high school senior, Larry accompanied the Mets on a West Coast trip as a bat boy. “I warmed up Tom Seaver, Jon Matlack and Nolan Ryan,” he says. “That’s something I’ll always remember. That was pretty special.”

Making it all the more special was the uniform he was wearing: it had No. 8 on it, just like his manager dad. “The team had to get permission from the commissioner,” Larry points out. “So that was pretty sharp.”

Another special memory of Larry’s is from a 1959 road trip to Boston. “I was in the press box at Fenway and caught a foul ball,” he begins.

Not just any foul ball – one off the bat of “The Splendid Splinter.”

“Ted Williams was my favorite player,” Larry shares. “Him and Harmon Killebrew. I idolized those guys. I was a closet Red Sox fan. The Yankees were always around the house – they were no big deal to me, but Ted Williams was Ted Williams!”

So where is that souvenir baseball today?

“It’s long gone,” Larry replies, laughing instead of crying. “My brothers used it – played with it and ruined it!”

The ball is long gone, but the memories are preserved like many of Yogi’s words in Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations.

“Mother would take us out of school and we’d have two months of school in Florida,” Larry further reminisces. “The Yankees of old were one big happy family. I mean it. It was a blast. The players were a lot more friendly to each other. On Saturdays (after the spring training game) we’d always be at someone’s house for a barbecue. You’d see Mickey Mantle punting a football to us.”

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“You can observe a lot by watching.”

– Yogi-ism

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Yogi Berra enjoyed observing lots of things with his three sons during baseball’s off-season.

“When we were younger my father took us to Madison Square Garden almost every Friday and Saturday,” shares Larry. “Whatever was there — basketball doubleheaders, hockey, boxing – we’d go see. That was terrific. We used to meet some of the players. I remember running around and chasing Oscar Robertson. It was sharp.”

Chasing “The Big O”, chatting with Roger Maris, catching punts from Mickey Mantle, it all was just part of being a Berra boy.

“When we tell people about growing up as Yogi’s sons, we always make it clear that to us everything seemed normal, even trips to the ballpark,” Tim said in The Yogi Book. “That normalcy was a reflection of Dad.”

Here is a telling reflection: Yogi never felt compelled to move the family into bigger and bigger homes in fancier and fancier neighborhoods. Indeed, he and Carmen – who have been married for 58 years and now have eleven grandchildren – lived in the same house they raised the boys in long after the nest grew empty.

“We were fortunate we happened to grow up and live in one town,” Dale explains. “If Dad had moved us to a different town or been traded like a lot of superstars, I think then we would have been seen and treated differently. But that didn’t happen. I went all through school with the same guys for fifteen years. I played Little League baseball and high school ball with the same kids.”

As a result, the boys were treated as Larry, Timmy and Dale, not as “The Famous Yogi Berra’s Sons.”

It is easy picture Yogi giving baseball clinics to his three boys in the backyard, but such a “My Three Sons”-like scene was rarely the case.

“Dad tossed the ball a little bit,” says Larry, “but not a lot.”

Adds Dale, with a laugh: “I remember I’d ask him to play catch and his answer was, `That’s what you’ve got bothers for!’ ”

As you can imagine, the three brothers could be a handful.

“Mom was the disciplinarian because she was always around,” Larry shares. “The thing was, with Dad you knew right away — he’d give you that look. He only spanked me once – I was six or seven – and I flooded the bathroom.”

Adds Dale: “We had a healthy respect for Dad. He’d tell us how Grandpa was tough on him. As a boy Dad had to work and the money he made as a kid he had to give to the family. So we had to earn what we wanted; it wasn’t just given to us.”

What was given to Larry, Tim and Dale was heckles from fans.

“Believe me, I heard things,” Dale recalls. “I heard people yell from the stands, `You’ll never be as good as your dad!’ Or, `You’re not half as good as your dad.’

“My answer was, `Who is?’ It honestly didn’t bother me. I just did the best I could.”

Larry agrees: “When people yelled at you, it just made you play a little harder. I didn’t feel pressure being Yogi Berra’s son.”

“I know many sons who felt pressure,” Dale adds to the subject. “I’ve talked to the sons of Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris and others, and they said they felt pressure being a superstar’s son. I honestly never felt that pressure. I don’t know why that is – I guess the credit for that goes to Dad.”

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“When you come to a fork in the road . . . take it.”

– Yogi-ism

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Less than two miles of road separates Yogi and his three sons today. Dale, like his father, lives in Montclair; Tim resides in West Caldwell; and Larry is Verona.

Tim and Dale actively run LTD Enterprises (Yogiberra.com) which sells memorabilia, while Larry – “I’m just the L in LTD,” he laughs – works for a flooring company.

“I see Dad all the time,” Larry happily shares. “We talk and fool around. Go to ballgames. We laugh a lot. He still says bizarre things, but he does it spontaneously – he doesn’t try to. He’s just a funny guy.”

Dale insists he doesn’t have a favorite Yogi-ism. “There are so many of them,” he says. “How can you pick just one? As many of them that people have heard and know, there are lots more that only we know about. At home we’d hear them. When we were little, of course, we had no idea he was saying them – he still has no idea he’s saying them!”

“I think my favorite Yogism,” says Larry, “is `When you come to a fork in the road … take it.’ I like it because it means you don’t stop; you keep going. I’ve tried to emulate that – just as I’ve tried to emulate everything about my dad.”

It is clear all three sons idolize their father. And each is proud to claim having inherited the “Yogi-ism” gene.

“I once was asked to compare myself to my dad,” Dale shares, “and I said, `Our similarities are different.’ ”

Larry, meanwhile, was once quoted: “You can’t lose if you win.” And Tim is famous in Berra lore for saying, “I knew exactly where it was, I just couldn’t find it.”

While they love him for being a character, more importantly the three sons admire their famous father’s character.

“What’s endearing about him is that what you see is what you get,” says Dale. “He couldn’t care less if you’re the guy at the laundrymat or the CEO of a corporation – he’s going to be nice to you. I think that’s the most important thing he taught me, and he taught it by example.”

Asked the key life lesson his father instilled in him, and Larry replies: “To be a good human being. He feels nobody is better than anyone else. My dad will call the President by his first name and he’ll call the garbage man by his first name. To Dad, people are people, and he treats them all the same, with respect. He leads the way by still following that.”

Yogi couldn’t have said it better himself.

 

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

Column: Readers Offer Support

by Woody

 Woody’s new book STRAW_Cover

STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter

is available for Pre-Order HERE NOW!

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Avalanche of Email Proves Surprising

It is well-established in the newspaper business that readers are far more likely to write a letter in response to a story or column they disagree with than one with which they are like-minded.

Therefore I was prepared for an avalanche of cold disagreement to my hot-button pro-gun control column three weeks past headlined: Shooter Kills (Fill In The Number) Again.

As expected, a Costco-sized bulk package of emails flooded my inbox. Unexpectedly, the bulk did not take me to task. In fact, it was not even split pro-con down the middle. Remarkably my email was 100 percent favorable.

Moreover, people continue to come up to me at the bank, bagel store, beach and elsewhere to single out that piece with praise – unheard of for a column that ran nearly a month ago.

I believe this special space in The Star each Saturday morning belongs to the community and I am merely its steward. Therefore, I would like to share a sampling of comments I received from you.

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From Paula: “I have come to the conclusion that only when everyone who loves their guns becomes tragically affected by this epidemic, only then will they be willing to step up to the plate for change. So sad and scary for this great country of ours.”

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From James: “Clearly, times were different about our stance for our right to bear arms when we had no idea what the future would hold in weaponry. To be clear, I am a proponent of our right to bear arms, yet I’m also a major proponent of gun control. The common man has no need for semi-automatic or even automatic rifles, much less ones that can load a 15 round magazine, even in the case of hunting game.”

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From Sherrilynn: “No other country (developed or undeveloped) has the civilian gun violence the U.S. has. You neglected to mention a few of the great organizations – such as Everytown For Gun Safety, Americans For Responsible Solutions, and The Brady Campaign – that are trying to rid this scourge from our nation. (Guns on college campus really?)

“I am involved with two of these organizations and am constantly signing petitions/letters for legislation on gun control. How many of these organizations need to be started after a killing to make the U.S./state legislatures enact/enforce gun control laws?”

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From Joan: “I woke up this morning and after having some coffee, sat down to check out the on-line headlines. Of course, it’s another shooting. This time a police officer in Houston. And all that I could think was, ‘Can this just STOP?!’

“I have read that more police officers are killed by states that have the most gun ownership. I think all states have too much gun ownership and that ALL LIVES MATTER!

“I wish I had the perfect solution that would serve everyone, but I don’t think it exists. All I do know is that whatever we are doing now is not working. As you stated, it’s just constant.

“I want you to know that I admire you for taking a stand, in print. And that I couldn’t agree with you more.”

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From Gerry and Jean: “We, too, will vote for anyone seriously putting gun control as their number one priority.”

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From Peggy: “Once again you have written a very timely piece on the problem of people getting guns and then using that gun to kill or injure innocent people.

“It is so hard to understand why this wonderful nation cannot succeed in passing a significant law to stop the bloodshed! What is wrong with all those elected officials in Washington! Sometimes I believe they are just STUPID! Sorry to use that word, but what else would you call them?!”

*

And from David: “Congratulations, Mr. Woodburn, for your courage to stand up for reasonable gun laws despite the inevitability of angering the gun-lovers and NRA supporters.

“As a nation, we embrace firearms, and then we lament the routine numerous deaths of innocents each day. We can’t have it both ways. Other countries are bewildered by our daily massacres.”

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

 

Column: Two Beach Stories

by Woody

 Woody’s acclaimed memoir

WOODEN & ME is available HERE at Amazon

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A Day at the Beach, Two Experiences

A day at the beach isn’t always a proverbial day at the beach.

Tuesday morning past, a friend of mine was doing just about his favorite thing in the world – surfing. He parked his truck up top at Emma Wood State Beach and went to commune with waves, nature and god.

1beachHis glorious day took a 180-degree pivot when he returned to find his wallet and cell phone stolen.

Sometimes, however, a day that’s gone bad can turn out extraordinarily good.

This same Tuesday, Steve Cook and his wife, Carol, were similarly enjoying our coastal paradise. After buying new sandals at Ventura Surf Shop, they pedaled their bikes back to the beach. Before crossing over from the street to the Promenade, Steve looked back and saw a truck approaching and wisely waited.

Unfortunately, Steve also veered slightly and recounts: “I overcorrected and jammed my front wheel and went down hard.”

Fortunately, his left shoulder absorbed the initial impact rather than his right shoulder that has an artificial joint. He proceeded to bounce and tumble, his back, surgically repaired shoulder, and head also receiving introductions to the pavement.

The driver of the truck stopped and ran over to see if Steve, now sprawled on the road, was okay. Normally, this would be the ending highlight of the story.

But something even better, and more unexpected, happened next.

Two “boys” – actually young men in their very early 20s – who witnessed the crash also raced over to Steve’s aid. Together, the three Good Samaritans – Steven Fragiacamo, who was driving the truck; and friends Christopher Alvarez and Graham McAlpine – helped Steve to his feet and moved the bicycle out of the road.

“Graham and Christopher were all over me, making sure I was okay with no serious injuries,” Steve retells. “I was bleeding like a stuck pig on my shin and Steven gave me lint free cloth he had in his truck, to stem the bleeding. Graham was making sure that I had no serious head injury.”

Graham, a Ventura native and now a junior at UC-Santa Barbara, is a good person to have by your injured side as he is a veteran beach lifeguard.

In addition to being battered and bruised, Steve lost his prescription blended-lens sunglasses in the fall.

“We were all looking for them and Carol wondered if they had gone down the adjacent storm drain,” Steve explains.

The opening was too small to get a good look, so Steven had the idea to remove the manhole cover. And that’s what the young trio did. Bingo! The glasses were plopped in a puddle of muck down at the bottom.

In sight, but out of reach. So Graham jumped into action, literally. He hopped down into the hole, nimbly landing on the one dry spot, and retrieved the expensive sunglasses.

“The most impressive part of the story to me – besides the boys obvious concern for my welfare – was the rescue of my glasses from the storm drain,” Steve emphasizes. “Teamwork by all three guys and no trepidation about going down into the sewer.”

Actually, perhaps the most impressive thing is that if you know any of these young men – or their parents – you are not in the least bit surprised by how they responded.

“So these young men stopped to help an old man in a time of trouble with kindness and extra effort,” says Steve, who served in the Peace Corps in Jamaica four decades ago before embarking on a career as a PE teacher. Today he is a full-time artist whose wonderful paintings of the beach, ocean and nature grace walls across the U.S. as well as in Europe and Asia.

“We were both so impressed and blown away with all three boys,” Steve further praises.

But here is the most important thing Steve has to say about his happy mishap, the take-away we should all take to heart: “Don’t ever let anybody tell you that today’s young people are not the hope and future of us all. These three young men were the best and a credit to their parents.”

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

Column: Meaningful Quiz

by Woody

 Woody’s acclaimed memoir

WOODEN & ME is available HERE at Amazon

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Quiz on Fame, Fortune and Fickleness

Good morning, readers. Time for a pop quiz inspired by what has become known as “The Charles Schulz Philosophy.”

No Googling for the answers. Ready, begin.

1 – Who is the world’s wealthiest person?

2 – Name three of the five wealthiest people in America.1Famepic

3 – Name two of the past three Super Bowl MVPs.

4 – Who was crowned Miss America in 2014?

5 – Name two of the last three Heisman Trophy winners.

6 – Name three of the 13 Nobel Prize winners from last year.

7 – Name two of the past three Oscar winners for Best Actress.

8 – Name two of the past three Oscar winners for Best Actor.

9 – Who won the Cy Young Award in the American League and National League last season?

10 – Name five Olympic Gold medalists, in any sports, from the 2012 Summer Games in London.

The correct answers are:

1 – According to Forbes’ 2015 list, Bill Gates once again ranks No. 1 on the planet with a fortune of $79.2 billion. (Carlos Slim Helu of Mexico is a close second – if $2.1 billion can be considered a small margin – at $77.1 billion.)

2 – Following Gates is Warren Buffett (No. 3 in the world) at $72.7 billion; Larry Ellison (No. 5) at $54.3 billion; Charles Koch and David Koch (tied No. 6) at $42.9 billion each; and Christy Walton (No. 8 globally) at $41.7 billion.

3 – Tom Brady, Patriots, 2015; Malcolm Smith, Seahawks, 2014; Joe Flacco, Ravens, 2013.

4 – Nina Davuluri of New York. (Half credit if you named Kira Kazantsev, also of New York, who is the reigning Miss America.)

5 – Marcus Mariota, Oregon, 2014; Jameis Winston, Florida State, 2013; Johnny Manziel, Texas A&M, 2012.

6 – Malala Yousafzai and Kailash Satyarthi for Peace; Patrick Modinao, Literature; Isamu Akasaki, Hiroshi Amano and Shuji Nakamura, Physics; Eric Betzig, Stefan W. Hell and William E. Moerner, Chemistry; John O’Keefe, May-Britt Moser and Edvard I. Moser, Physiology; and Jean Tirole, Economic Sciences.

7 – Julianne Moore in Still Alice, 2014; Cate Blanchett in Blue Jasmine, 2013; and Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings Playbook, 2012.

8 – Eddie Redmayne in The Theory of Everything, 2014; Matthew McConaughey in Dallas Buyers Club, 2013; and Daniel Day Lewis in Lincoln, 2012.

9 – Nation League: Clayton Kershaw, Dodgers; American League: Corey Kluber, Indians.

10 – You’ll need to Google your own Olympic answers to see if they are correct.

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Part I was surprisingly difficult, was it not, considering the questions were about the best of the best, the most famous of the famous?

The lesson learned is that newsmakers and world shapers can have a short shelf life after the applause dies. Records fall, awards tarnish, fame fades.

Now, let’s Part II. Ready, begin:

1 – Name two teachers who played vital roles in helping you become who you are today.

2 – Who can you phone at 3 a.m. for any reason.

3 – Name someone who has helped you with a move for the payment of a few slices of pizza.

4 – Who has been an MVP mentor along your life journey?

5 – Name someone who showed up without even being asked when you most needed someone to lean on.

6 – Who always had your back in high school?

7 – Name someone who is quick to pick up a check during a celebration and sure to check in on you when you are feeling low or sick.

8 – Name a person who has driven a long distance to see you, even at short notice.

9 – Who can you always trust beyond doubt to keep their word?

10 – Name someone who can turn your tears into laughter?

There are, of course, now wrong answers in Part II. Only VERY right answers.

These questions were far easier, weren’t they?

Isn’t it remarkable how the people who make the most indelible mark on our lives, and in our hearts, are not the ones with the most money or the most trophies, the most inventions or the most magazine covers.

Rather, wonderfully, the people who make a lasting impact, life’s real MVPs – Most Valuable People – are the ones who are the most friendly and most giving and most caring.

Class dismissed.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

Shooter Kills (Fill In Number) Again

by Woody

 Pre-Order Woody’s new book

STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME HERE

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Shooter Kills (Fill In The Number) Again

In the 1920s, the “Golden Age of Sports,” tennis legend William “Big Bill” Tilden defeated his rival William “Little Bill” Johnston so frequently in major matches that newspapers were said to keep a headline set in hot-lead type:

Tilden Beats Johnston Again

In this computer age, it seems American newspapers could save time by programming a save-get key with a different, somber headline:

Shooter Kills (Fill In The Number) Again1gunviolence

Fill in the number is wrong. Fill in the names. Fill in the faces, the individuals, the loved ones, the friends, the co-workers, the fellow citizens. Fill in the “There but for the grace of God go I.”

Wednesday, once again a headline needed to be filled in: Shooter Kills 2, Wounds 1 on live TV in Virginia.

Television reporter Alison Parker, 24, and cameraman Adam Ward, 27, were gunned down in cold blood by a madman. Vicki Gardner, who was being interviewed, was critically wounded. Before taking his own life, the maniac posted video of his heinous act on Twitter and Facebook.

Words fail me. But I will still try. This is a column I could write once a month. No, weekly. Shooter Kills (Fill In The Number) Again.

Shooter Kills 5, Wounds 2 at military recruitment center in Chattanooga

Shooter Kills 9, Wounds 1 in a Church in Charleston

Shooter Kills 5, Wounds 1 at Marysville-Pilchunck High School

Shooter Kills 13, Wounds 8 at Washington Navy Yard

Shooter Kills 20 Children And 6 Adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School

Shooter Kills 12, Wounds 58 at Aurora Movie Theater

This is just a short list of mass shootings in America in the last three years. Mass shootings make headlines, but according to the CDC all shooting-related deaths – homicides, suicides and unintentional – combined total more than 30,000 annually in the U.S.

In other words, the number of civilians killed by guns on U.S. soil in one year alone surpasses the 2,996 casualties suffered in the 9/11 terrorist attacks tenfold. As Pogo cartoonist Walt Kelly wrote: “We have met the enemy and he is us.”

If that doesn’t numb you, those 30,000-plus annual gun-related deaths average out to about 82 lives lost each day, day after day ad nauseam.

No other country comes close to our killing fields, killing streets, killing movie theaters and killing schools.

I know this column will anger many of my readers, maybe even lose some of them. So be it. The NRA and its hard-line supporters have long been controlling the issue of gun control, derailing meaningful compromise and progress. Their thwarting all new measures has not helped thwart the shooting violence.

When our Founding Fathers wrote the Constitution, it took 30 seconds to reload a gun to get off a second shot. Today, in those 30 seconds a madman can squeeze off enough bullets – including bullets designed to pierce armor – to cause the headline: Shooter Kills 50.

Guns are designed to kill – animals of game, yes, but also people. Handguns are designed especially to kill people. And semi-automatic guns are designed to kill a lot of people, quickly.

Polls show the vast majority of Americans want gun-control legislation increased, but our lawmakers ignore us and kowtow to the powerful gun lobby. Since they refuse to listen to the public they serve, it is long past time to replace them with leaders who do hear us.

I don’t know about you, but henceforth my No. 1 issue when voting for any politician, from local supervisor to congressman to president, will be their stance on guns. All candidates aim to strengthening our economy and ensure national security; I want ones who don’t shoot down legislation aimed at lessening future shootings.

Democrat, Republican, Independent, if someone seriously and believably makes gun control his or her top priority at the risk of becoming an enemy of rich lobbyists, they have my vote.

We have a Constitutional right to bear arms, yes, but how many more “Shooter Kills (Fill In The Number of Lives Not To Be Fully Lived) Again” headlines must we bear to read?

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

Back-to-School Good Samaritan

by Woody

 Woody’s acclaimed memoir

WOODEN & ME is available HERE at Amazon

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Back-to-School Good Samaritan

Too often a story becomes news because someone is in the wrong place at the wrong time.

David Pichon is the flip side of the coin.

“I just happened to be in the right place, at the right time,” David shares, adding an all-important third element, “in the right frame of mind.”1schoolsupplies

The right place was Walmart in Camarillo. The right time was mid-afternoon two Mondays past. The right frame of mind is something David, now 50, learned as a boy from his father: “If you can, you should.”

So when David, who stands 6-foot-4, was milling around waiting for a cashier’s check to be printed so he could pay his rent, saw 5-foot-2 Maya Geisler struggling to reach notebooks on the top shelf, he stepped in to help.

Realizing Maya had forgotten to get a shopping cart, David next went to retrieve one while she counted out notebooks for her incoming class of 24 second-graders at Somis Elementary School.

“I thought that was so nice,” Maya recalls.

The kindness was only beginning.

If you can, you should. On his way to see if his cashier’s check was ready, David asked a store clerk to let him know when Maya got in line for the register.

When she did, David appeared. Doing some second-grade math in his head, he quickly figured there weren’t enough supplies for a full classroom of students. He rushed back to the back-to-school aisle and loaded up a second shopping cart with more sets of crayons, pencils, and a full box of notebooks.

He then paid for the entire bounty.

“I just couldn’t believe how generous this stranger was,” Maya rejoins. “I started crying a bit.”

More tears flowed when David pushed the cart to her car and helped load the largess into the trunk.

“You’re never going to miss a few dollars spent helping someone else,” David says, understating his generosity. “Really, what I did wasn’t a big deal.”

Maya disagrees. A single mother with two boys, she admits money is “super tight.” To her, David’s deed was a very big deal.

Knowing only the first name of the Back-To-School Good Samaritan, Maya posted a brief summary of the random act of kindness on her Facebook page and mentioned the business van David drove off in: Sound Doctor 911. Sure enough, someone recognized her hero as the owner of the Camarillo store that installs automotive stereo systems.

Maya’s heartfelt 164-word message on Facebook struck a chord and quickly went viral. In just days it was shared 7,000 times.

“Teachers are contacting me full of love and genuine thanks,” David allows, noting he has received more than 2,000 emails. “I’ve heard from people in Australia, Thailand, Africa, and all across the U.S. The beautiful part is the way others are responding by paying it forward because they were inspired by me.”

David pauses for a moment, collecting his thoughts, and adds sincerely: “The attention I’m getting is really undeserved. I didn’t pull someone from a burning building.”

No, but he did step forward to help a teacher during these times of burning school budgets.

Maya, now in her 11th year as an educator after previously working in banking and nursing, estimates she spends about $600 out of her own pocket each year on supplies for her students and classroom.

“We do it because we love our jobs and our students,” says Maya.

She is the norm, not the exception.

His act of kindness for Maya was not the exception for David, either. He is a loyal supporter of Casa Pacifica and the Boys & Girls Club, and also donates blood regularly.

To be sure, he has a remarkable heart – all the more so when you learn that this father of four, and grandfather of one, has survived two heart attacks in the past 22 months.

“I think I’m still here so I can do more,” David allows. “None of us can fix the world, but we can all help fix our own neighborhood. Like I said, my father taught me, ‘If you can, you should.’ ”

He could, he did.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

 

Embracing Challenges, Kid-Style

by Woody

 My new memoir WOODEN & ME is available here at Amazon

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Embracing New Challenges, Kid-Style

The late, great Chuck Thomas, one of my dear mentors and my predecessor in this space, advised: “Never write a bad column when you can steal a good one.”

1scarepicWith that wisdom in mind, along with the thought that as adults we have a lot to learn from kids, I hereby share some sagacity from my daughter, who recently finished leading her eighth annual youth summer writing seminar. Her lessons and observations apply to life, not just writing.

Dallas shares . . .

One of my favorite things is teaching a writing camp in my hometown for kids and teenagers. For a couple hours over back-to-back weekends, we all sit together in a purple-walled conference room and write. A few use laptops and iPads, but most opt for old-school notebooks and pens.

I put a prompt on the whiteboard, turn on some Norah Jones or Jack Johnson or Miles Davis, and they are off and running – rather, writing.

It’s nothing short of magic, being in that room. It’s calm, peaceful, with a quiet energy fairly making the air molecules dance. You can practically hear the ideas whirring around the room as surely as you can hear the pencils scratching across sheets of paper. You can almost feel the ideas swirling.

My writing campers inspire me in numerous ways. They are passionate, driven, unabashedly enthusiastic. They are creative and ambitious. (Do you know any 9-year-olds writing 300-page novels? I do!) They are well-read, and perceptive, and supportive of each other.

Perhaps most of all, these young people inspire me with the way they eagerly embrace new challenges and take risks in order to push themselves to grow. I teach writing classes for adults as well, and always need to plough through much more resistance before getting down to business.

As adults, we too often become set in our ways. We become afraid to try something new because we might not do it the “right” way. We worry we will make mistakes. We fear stumbling through a learning curve.

Kids, in my experience, seem much less concerned about stumbling. They are focused on flying!

Time and again, I present to my young writers an utterly new idea or wacky concept, intended specifically to push them outside their comfort zones. Do they balk? No, they dive right in and embrace the new challenge! My writing campers are adventurers. They explore. They grow.

These kids are role models for us adults.

One small example is an activity relating to structuring a short story. My only guideline is for the girls and boys to try something they have never before attempted. Write a story in reverse chronological order, from ending to beginning; write with alternating perspectives of two characters; write from the perspective of an animal, insect or inanimate object; write a story in poetic verse.

These amazing kids try it all with joyful abandon. Their bravery is inspiring. They eagerly raise their hands to read aloud their just-birthed fragile words, unselfconscious and unselfish in their sharing. They are generous, both in confidence and in spirit.

When do we lose these wonderful traits as grown-ups? When do we cross that threshold and become shy and stifled? Why are we so terrified of looking foolish that we stop daring to try – and stop trying to dare?

Fundamentally, these kids live Eleanor Roosevelt’s prescription: “Do one thing every day that scares you.”

Except they turn the word “scares” into “thrills.”

We all, old and young, have the capacity to create our own stories and our own magic. You don’t need to be a writing camper to do so. You don’t need anyone’s permission. All you need is a pinch of bravery and a dash of willingness to try, and try again, and always try something new.

I don’t know about you, but I’m going to figuratively open a fresh page in my writer’s notebook, put on some Norah Jones, and get to work creating a life story that matters to me. I’m going to follow my young campers’ fearless example and do one new thing every day that thrills me.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

Thoughts On This And That

by Woody

 My new memoir WOODEN & ME is available here at Amazon

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Some thoughts, both Fair and foul

Fair warning: some of these thoughts and observations may make your head spin like a ride on the Twirl-A-Whirl . . .

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Nobody asked me, but one of the very best things about the Ventura County Fair, which runs through Aug. 16, is the Ventura County Star’s intrepid writer – and George Plimpton-like “participatory” journalist – Tom Kisken sharing his A-to-Z fairground experiences.1Fair poster

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This year’s theme, “A County Fair With Ocean Air,” would not have been fitting the year one of Kisken’s experiences was cleaning out a Porta Potty.

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We have bus stations and train stations, as well as gas stations, so why aren’t airports instead called “plane stations”?

Or else why not “busports” and “trainports” to go with carports (a covered open-air garage) and seaports? Just wondering.

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Overrated: Fair rides, except for the Ferris wheel and merry-go-round.

Underrated: Fair photography and craft exhibits.

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The view from the London Eye on the bank of the River Thames takes the backseat to the panoramic vision from atop the Ventura County Fair’s giant Ferris wheel along the beach of the Pacific Ocean. Just saying.

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Just asking: Who gets more depressed by the back-to-school TV commercials and print ads – kids enjoying their summer break or teachers?

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I wonder what Kisken’s cholesterol levels are before the Fair and right after his 12-day binge on Everything Bacon, Fried, And Chocolate?

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Love this wisdom from the Dalai Lama, which applies to summer as well as the school year, weekends as well as workdays: “There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow. Today is the right day.”

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More inspiration, from his holiness James Bond: “I don’t stop when I am tired, I stop when I am done.”

Sounds like Kisken around Day 007 of the Fair.

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According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, the average 8- to 10-year-old spends nearly eight hours dialy on TV, video games, computers and smartphones. For older children and teenagers it tops 11 hours a day.

Experts contend that excessive screen time can have significant negative effects on behavior, school performance and health . . .

. . . and also on 3-point shooting!

Matt Bonner, a sharpshooter for the San Antonio Spurs, had his worst season from 3-point range last season and recently explained why: tennis elbow – aka cellphone-itis.

“When the new iPhone came out it was way bigger than the last one,” Bonner said. “And I think because I got that new phone it was a strain to use it, you have to stretch further to hit the buttons, and I honestly think that’s how I ended up developing it.”

Reaction I: Parents should take notice.

Reaction II: The Lakers should send Stephen Curry and Chris Paul each a new iPhone.

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Speaking of children, my much-better-half – either mistakenly or perhaps on purpose because she often says I act like a 10-year-old – bought me adult multivitamins that are “Gummies” instead of tablets.

Initial reaction: Seriously?

Second reaction: Seriously yummy!

Final thought: I wish “Gummies” vitamins had been around when I was 10.

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More food for thought: Kudos to local chef Tim Kilcoyne and his Ventura-based food truck Scratch – as well as McGrath Family Farm of Camarillo and Tamai Family Farms of Oxnard that provided produce – for helping feed 5,000 athletes and guests at the recent Special Olympics World Games in Los Angeles.

I have no connection to Kilcoyne – although, full disclosure, I might harbor a hidden agenda in dreaming of one day having a food truck or restaurant name a sandwich of my design “The Woody” – but his burgers are second to none and signature “Scratch Ketchup” is the best I’ve ever tasted.

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“A County Fair With Ocean Air” didn’t ask me, but it should add a healthy item to its menu this year. I’m thinking a “Gummies” multivitamin wrapped in bacon, stuffed inside a deep-fried Twinkie and then covered with chocolate.

I bet Tom Kisken would try it.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upCheck out my new memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”