Bookend Meals to Fondly Remember

“Chocolate, s’il vous plaît,” I said, pointing at the dessert menu, at what I thought was ice cream, at crème glacée.“

You mean chocolat?”the waiter said, his tone mocking.

My wife and I were at a charming café in Nice, France, on a recent dream trip celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary, yet our waiter was anything but charming. To call him surly would be far too kind.

“Oui,” I said, trying my best to parrot his pronunciation, “Chocolat.”

“Chocolat,” he sneered again with emphasized inflection and a dismissive eye roll.

Cheers to a wonderful 40th anniversary trip…

My mind flashed back a few days, back to when we were in Olympia, Greece, and our tour guide, a lovely woman named Nicolette, taught me a less-than-lovely Greek word our bus driver had barked out in frustration at a driver who displeased him. I was tempted to repeat those two displeasing syllables now at our waiter, but instead bit my tongue until the chocolat ice cream could soothe it.

Happily, that rudeness and margherita pizza that tasted like it came frozen in a box, were the exception on our 12-day travels from Venice to Barcelona. From a delicious assortment of tapas al fresco while protected under a canopy beneath rainy skies to velvety gelato at a seaside table outdoors where it was impossible to tell which was forget-me-not bluer, the sky or the water, we had many meals to remember for the right reasons.

Two, however, stand out above the rest as all-time unforgettable meals. Remarkably, they were the very first and last dinners of our trip.

The lunch of tapas we enjoyed in Barcelona were simply amazing!

We arrived at our hotel in Venice after a long night, long day, and long evening of travel at nearly 9 o’clock and promptly went looking for a place to dine. Serendipitously, an Italian restaurantwas literally next door.

Carpaccio Trattoria is too small to be described as cozy, but we were too weary to look further. Without any wait, and with the temperature in the mid-70s, we were given a table for two on the waterfront patio with a front-row view of the scenic Grand Canal.

The ambiance could not have been lovelier with lapping water serving as soft music and an apricot-hued moon balanced on the steeple of the landmark Palladian Church directly across the waterway as if it were a basketball spinning on a Harlem Globetrotter’s index finger.

Maria, whose appearance was as pleasant as her manner, showed us to our table; took our orders; and served us as well. We learned over the course of the meal that she is also the owner, pasta chef, and bakes all of the desserts which she proudly noted she always samples. The latter was nearly impossible to believe for the dessert menu was not at all slim and yet Maria very much was – a positive testament to the walking lifestyle here.

Since boyhood, spaghetti has been my favorite meal and the gold standard has always been my mom’s. For the past 30 years, I have wistfully pined for her magical sauce and handmade pasta.

God bless Maria. Her tender-yet-firm pasta and simple sauce that was almost as sweet as chocolat – “The secret magic is the fresh local tomatoes,” she confided – was not the equal of my mom’s, impossibly it surpassed it. I wish you could have tasted it.

We passed on dessert, but Maria would have no such nonsense. Learning this was our anniversary eve, she brought a cannoli and a slice of triple-chocolate cake as her gifts to us. Both were heaven on a plate.

Next week: The second bookend meal to long remember.

*   *   *

Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Personalized Signed copies of WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and  “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” are available at WoodyWoodburn.

Papa’s Bar Leads to Picasso’s Paintings

On the Italian Riviera, on a ferryboat, on our way to Montorosso, the last of five charming fishing villages collectively known as Cinque Terre, my wife and I, on our recent 40th wedding anniversary, passed through the Gulf of La Spezia which is famously, and for good reason, nicknamed “The Bay of Poets.”

In addition to Lord Byron, Mary Shelley, Charles Dickens, Henry James and Virginia Woolf, to name but a handful from a long shelf of celebrated authors who frequented these beautiful coastal lands, Ernest Hemingway wrote about the region in his novel “Across the River and Into the Trees.”

Self portrait by the legendary Pablo Picasso

Across the waters circumventing Italy and into Barcelona, this was not our first encounter with Papa Hemingway’s past. In Venice, his fingerprints remain at the Gritti Palace and Harry’s Bar; at sea, heading to Naples, we passed the hamlet of Acciaroli where Papa was believed to have found inspiration for “The Old Man and the Sea”; in Naples, in Rome, in Nice, I was proudly told: “Hemingway spent time here!”

In Barcelona, I decided to search for Hemingway’s footprints – or, rather, his elbow marks on an antique oak bar. “Hemingway Gin & Cocktail Bar” was within walking distance, albeit a rather lengthy stroll, that afforded Lisa and me an opportunity to explore the city en route.

HG&CB would have been easy to miss, and indeed we walked past it once, for its storefront is no more than 10 feet wide with an entrance doorway six steps below street level. Half-hidden as it is, the establishment looks fully posh with gilt signage and a glass door featuring a brass handle polished to a mirror-like shine.

Inside, the dark-wood bar is polished as perfectly as the front door’s handle and runs down the right side of the shotgun layout with forest-green leather-upholstered stools on the drinking side and black lacquer shelves filled with bottles on the serving side. The opposing wall is decorated with black-and-white photographs of Hemingway and also a framed quote by Papa: “Write Drunk, Edit Sober.”

Signature cocktails carry the theme further with names like “The Old Man And The Sea” (gin, vermouth and soda, served in a silver conch shell) and “Hemmy” (vodka, vanilla, liquore al pino and soda, served in a bearded pewter mug of the writer’s likeness).

Alas, Papa never enjoyed a “Hemmy” here for the bar is less than a decade old. Added woe, the elegance was locked behind a copper-colored security gate because it was only noon and patronage hours did not start until 4 p.m.

Less than two miles away, Bar Marsella, established in 1820 as Barcelona’s first bar, promised an authentic echo of Hemingway. Once again, however, it did not open until siesta ended. Adding to our disappointment, we were denied a glimpse inside because the entrance was shrouded by a single-car-wide steel roll-up garage door cloaked in graffiti art. Instead of poshness, it was grittiness; a place to Write Drunk, not Edit Sober.

Next came a silver lining on a cloudy day. Learning that Pablo Picasso as well hung out at Bar Marsalla, we Googled the legendary artist and discovered The Picasso Museum. A 20-minute walk in a pleasantly warm drizzle rewarded us, at last, with an open door – and more than 4,000 of his original paintings, drawings, and ceramics.

As Hemingway’s Santiago says in “The Old Man and the Sea”: “Never have I seen a greater, or more beautiful, or a calmer or more noble thing…” Indeed, the collection was intoxicating.

Next week, as these travel chronicles near an end, some meals to remember.

*   *   *

Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Personalized Signed copies of WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and  “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” are available at WoodyWoodburn.

In a ‘Good Mood’ on French Riviera

A priest in a brown robe belted with a white rope, a nun in running shoes matching her black habit, and a wolfish dog white as an angel jaywalk into city traffic…

What sounds like the beginning of a barroom joke was actually a sight I encountered a stone’s throw away from the Vatican during my recent 40th wedding anniversary dream trip. The trinity caused a car to hit the brakes and blare its horn while making me wonder what in the world Pope Francis would think about the two two-legged scofflaws.

Just as Saint Peter’s Square will always fondly remind me of the jaywalking Catholic dog, the French Riviera visited a day later provided another souvenir dog tale.

My wife and I, despite knowing only a fistful of French words between us, had successfully navigated the train system from Villefranche-Sur-Mer to Nice; where we successfully navigated both a long foreign menu and a surly waiter short on affability; then successfully navigated our return to the charming Old Town port whence we started.

To celebrate not getting lost en route either direction, and not mistakenly ordering Pieds De Porc (pigs’ feet) or Couilles de Mouton (mutton testicles) for lunch, we found a seaside bar just in time for Happy Hour. “The Good Mood” brasserie could well have been named “The Good View” for our outdoor two-top table overlooked, across a narrow cobblestone walkway, a postcard bay filled with sailboats and picturesque beach populated with sunbathers.

Certainly we were in a good mood as it is hard to imagine a lovelier place to rest one’s feet after a long day of sightseeing and enjoy a glass of wine and pint of beer. On the proprietor’s recommendation I had a “1664” French golden lager originally brewed when its name suggests.

Gazing at the sea, which in color seemed to be a reflection of the cloudless turquoise sky, a lone swimmer caught my eye. He was doing laps between two yellow buoys, perhaps 50 meters apart and bearing “No Motor Boats” signs, employing freestyle towards us and breaststroke when heading away. I would estimate his pace was about a half-mile per pint by me, which means he swam a full mile as I watched.

Ernest Hemingway’s footprints had appeared a number of times during our travels that began in Venice; and his fingerprints would be found at our final destination of Barcelona two days hence; and sitting here I could imagine Papa writing and drinking, and perhaps even challenging the swimmer to a race.

Before the swimmer finished her workout, and I finished my second 1664 for the recommendation had been a good one, a second swimmer appeared. She – or he, it was impossible to tell, but I will go with “she” – was slower in pace, yet much more enthusiastic. Indeed, the Black Lab splashed with abandon as she chased a tennis ball.

The dog’s owner, a young woman with an obvious sense of mischief, threw the tennis ball towards the orange buoy – close, closer, closer still – each time the freestyler approached it. On the fourth toss her aim and timing were both excellent and it looked like the lap swimmer and the Lab swimmer would collide…

…or perhaps the freestyler, looking up as he switched to breaststroke, might see the tennis ball and fetch it himself.

Alas, the dog-paddler got there first. Returning to shore, in her own display of playful mischief, she shook herself dry while getting her owner all wet and my good mood got even gooder.

Next up: Looking for Hemingway and finding Picasso…

*   *   *

Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Personalized Signed copies of WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and  “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” are available at WoodyWoodburn.

Little Girl With A Big Name

Dearest Auden,

Welcome to our family!

We waited for your arrival with growing excitement and diminishing patience as the big day neared. You weren’t due until the third day of the New Year, but to be honest you’re just what topsy-turvy 2022 needed to finish on a high note.

You came as a belated birthday gift for your big sister, Maya, who turned four early in December, and a three-days-early Christmas gift for the rest of us. In a wink of serendipity, you share your birthday with your Uncle Greg.

Normally, Funcle – as Maya calls him, and I’m certain you too will find the moniker of endearment to be perfectly fitting – feels slighted by birthday/Christmas combination gifts. In this case, however, he could not have felt more blessed.

Holding you for the first time, Auden, was a time machine for me. I looked down at your blue eyes and saw your big sister; saw your mommy when she was a baby; and saw your grandma, NeNe, long before I knew her.

But most of all, I saw your great-grandma – who was my mommy – for she ha the bluest eyes I have ever seen. Her peepers were the color of the Caribbean Sea and a cloudless summer sky, the prettiest blue in Monet’s palette and Wedgewood blue, which she dearly loved, all blended together. Yes, Auden, you have her movie-star eyes.

More importantly, however – for your eyes, and you, would be just as beautiful if they were green or brown, hazel or grey – you also have your great-grandmother’s name. While her birth certificate, and death certificate 30 years ago, read Audrey, your mommy and the other eight grandchildren all called her Auden.

The great poet W.H. Auden wrote a poem titled “O Tell Me The Truth About Love” and the truth is, Little Auden, your namesake epitomized love. Of a thousand stories I will one day share with you, let me begin here with this one that remains, sadly and maddeningly, relevant in this troubled world that oftentimes seems to be moving backwards.

It happened a long, long time ago, in the previous century, in the late 1940s, in the Midwest, when Auden was in high school. There was a must-go-to prom party and she was thrilled to be invited.

Shortly before the eagerly anticipated merrymaking, however, Auden’s excitement evaporated faster than a wet footprint on a scorching pool deck in August because she found out her friend Trish had not received an invitation.

Auden’s disappointed sizzled into anger when she learned why Trish was excluded: because she was Jewish. America’s G.I. Joes had just defeated the Nazis overseas, but anti-Semitism – then as now – had not been vanquished across our amber waves of grain and fruited plains, from sea to shining sea.

Understand, this was not just The Party of the Year, it was The Party of The Senior Class’s High School Lives. No matter. If Trish was not welcomed, then Auden would not go either. Instead, she invited Trish over to her house for their own two-person party…

…that turned out to be The Best Partyof Allas a growing cascade of classmates followed her example.

“Injustice,” she often told me, “is everyone’s battle.”

Little Auden, more than your lovely blue eyes, it is her traits of inner-mettle and rightness, alloyed with a great sense of humor too, that I hope you are most proud to have inherited from your namesake.

With love to the moon,

Bruno

P.S. Next, I need to tell you why Maya and you call me Bruno instead of Grandpa.

*   *   *

Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Personalized Signed copies of WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and  “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

Ball Givers Spread Abundance of Love

To be honest, I was worried that with inflation inflating the prices of sports balls the number of gifts given to “Woody’s Holiday Ball Drive” would be deflated compared to years past.

            How happily wrong I was!

Before revealing this year’s finally tally, here are some more Most Valuable Philanthropists…

Nick Sarris donated 34 balls “in memory of baby Sienna” and Rebecca Fox gave two “in honor of Arlys Tuttle’s recent 100th birthday!”

Scott and Randi Harris gave six balls, noting: “We love to think of children running, playing and laughing – maybe even forgetting about some of the unfair challenges, if only for a little while.”

Ann Cowan continued her late husband Jim’s annual tradition by giving 10 basketballs and legendary basketball coaches Joe Vaughan Mickey Perry also gave 10.

Sandra Janotta donated six balls; Ethel Yim gave five; Bob Vrtis, four; Jane Eller, three, Steve and Bobbin Yarbrough, two; and the Robles family gave one.

Susan Adamich gave one ball; Christine Weidenheimer, two; Doris Brown, three; Rick and Lucie Estberg, four; Judy Magee Windle, five; and Richard Bergman donated six.

Charla and Tom Mooney gave 23 balls “in honor of our 23 grandchildren” and Mary Samples similarly gave one ball each in honor of her three grandchildren.

Chuck and Ann Elliott similarly gave 10 balls “in honor of the young people who may be inspired by them to pursue their dreams in life” and Steve McFadden donated four balls in memory of his dad, Harold.

The Hein family – Chris, Julie, Audrey and Howie – gave two balls; Anna and Tom McBreen did likewise; and so did Cristina Kildee. Ken and Elaine Lyle, and their grandsons Josh and Corbin, also gave two balls.

The Clayton Family – Denny, Peggi and Paige – donated three balls, as did Tim and Peggy Hughes.

An anonymous donor gave 24 balls “in memory Gary, who believed youth sports were essential in building confidence, sportsmanship and discipline; all characteristics that benefit not only the individual, but society in general.”

Jan and Tom Lewis gave ten basketballs “in memory of Charlie Feyh, coach of the Ventura Nets girls basketball teams; and Rick Masterson, former announcer for Buena High girls basketball.”

Lynne and Don Steensma donated eight balls, as did Dan and Judy Dugan; Bobbie and Dave Williams gave six, as did Kathleen Selmer; and Sheila and Vivienne Raives gave five, as did Sol Chooljian and Laura McAvoy.

Margie Chespak and Jim Tankersley donated a dozen balls “in memory of Pete Ackermann, a wonderful, godly man and Oaks Christian legend” and one ball was given anonymously “in memory of Armando Luna.”

Wendy Spasiano donated 19 balls; Jeff and Anne Barks gave a baker’s dozen; Brad and Mia Ditto gave 11; Karen and Dave Brooks gave 10, as did Joann Cooper; Shelly and Steve Brown gave five; David and Shelley Cole gave four; and Tom and Karyne Roweton gave two.

Patrons of The Goebel Adult Community Center in Thousand Oaks donated 79 balls and Camarillo Somis and Pleasant Valley Lions Club gave 122 more.

In another shared effort, 220 balls were given by a group of family members and friends who wished to only have their first names used: Alma, Aric and Margarita, Allen and Alast, Rachel and Michael, Emma, Rick and Nancy, Shaun and Ruth, Andy and Connie, Christine and Tyler, Alma and Tomas, Juan; Mike and Claudia, Phil and Charlene, Steve and MaryKay, John and Kellie, Debbie, Will, Maddie, Pam, Dave, Lane, Michelle and Michael, Rose and Jace, Achilles and Caren, Ron and Anita, and Ricky and Beverly.

John and Sharon Onyshko, with the help of their grandchildren – Gage Redwine; and Colton, Charlotte and Maverick Onyshko – donated 14 balls while Dody Blankenburg took her two granddaughters, Bowie Ryan and Reagan James Smallwood, to pick out four balls.

 Jim and Sandie Arthur gave a dozen “in honor of our beloved daughters and three grown grandchildren” and Allison Johnson gave two balls “in honor my brother, Michael Demeter.”

 “In honor and loving memory of our brother and cousin, Michael Kendlinger,” Brandon and Tommy Kendlinger, and Elijah Ontiveros, donated 18 balls while Leslie Seifert-De Los Santos, son Nicholas, and family gave 10 balls “in remembrance of Manuel De Los Santos.”

An anonymous donor gave “eleven basketballs in memory of Karen, Larry, Suz, Jeanie, John, James, Eric, Keith, Rich, Louise, Becky – and a twelfth in honor of everyone who is currently fighting cancer.” Four and two more balls were also given anonymously.

Ken and Kathy McAlpine gave three balls; Greg and Jess Woodburn gave two; and a dozen balls came from a married couple who wished to anonymously “spread some love.”

An abundance of love was indeed spread this year in the form of 1,038 young holiday smiles, smashing last year’s previous record ball total of 891.

“My beloved mom told me,” former Rhodes Scholar Pat Haden once shared with me, “that the words ‘thank you’ are the most powerful words in the English language.”

To each and everyone who helped spread the love by giving one ball, or many, I say most earnestly, “Thank you!”

Make Heart Go Aflutter In New Year

Chase butterflies.

          When asked to write a brief essay on the topic “A Letter Of Advice To My 21-Year-Old Self,” that was my answer in a nutshell: Chase butterflies.

            As we toe the starting line for a new lap around the sun in 2023, it seems to me that chasing butterflies is timely counsel for all ages, old and young, not just 21. Let me explain.

Even though Spring is a fair ways off, turning the calendar page from December to January always brings to my mind a butterfly emerging from its cocoon: the caterpillar’s past has been shed and left behind and the world is fresh and full of promise.

Moreover, most butterflies emerge in the morning – again, the image of a new year’s rosy beginning. Indeed, New Year’s resolutions are goals for a personal metamorphosis of sorts.

            But my prescription to chase butterflies is more than metaphorical. Remember in your youth when you raced, wielding a long-handled net, after Monarchs or Swallowtails? Few images of girlhood or boyhood are more carefree.

Perhaps you did not even catch any butterflies. That didn’t even matter because the joy was in the running, in the sport of it, in the zig-zagging through a field until you were out of breath – the breathlessness, in part, from laughing at your “failure” to catch the elusive flittering prey.

            Lesson from the child: when was the last time you laughed off “failure” instead of letting it deflate you like a punctured tire? To be sure, we would all do well to pursue our adult endeavors with the same sense of joy and play we did while racing barefooted in the summer grass in happy pursuit of rainbow-winged flying flower.

            Chasing butterflies means going outside your safe cocoon of a comfort zone. Ernest Hemingway once told a friend, who kept putting off undertaking a challenging task because he had never tried it before: “What’s that got to do with it? I had no experience writing a novel until I wrote the first one.”

As the Roman poet Virgil noted, “Fortune favors the bold.” Fortune favors butterfly chasers, say I.

In that essay letter to my 21-year-old college self, I wrote: “Remember the swarm of butterflies doing cartwheels in your stomach the first time you asked out that gorgeous girl you are now dating? Spoiler alert, Woody – that works out marvelously even 42 years later!”

Mark Twain wisely put it thusly: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

He might have well added: Do things that make the butterflies in your belly take flight.

So throw off your bowlines in 2023. Learn a new language. Take guitar lessons. Enroll in a painting class. Train for a marathon. Try surfing. Climb Mount Whitney. Write that novel you have long felt you have inside you. Ask someone on a date – or accept the invite. Chase your dreams. Travel. Explore. Go sailing. Go for it!

            I closed my letter to my younger self with John Wooden’s “7-Point Creed,” which I consider to be concise wisdom of great breadth and depth: “Be true to yourself. Make each day your masterpiece. Help others. Drink deeply from good books. Make friendship a fine art. Build a shelter against a rainy day. Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day.”

            And I concluded with an eighth point: Chase butterflies.

*   *   *

Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Personalized Signed copies of WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and  “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

Ball Givers Spread Tons Love

To be honest, I was worried that with inflation inflating the prices of sports balls the number of gifts given to “Woody’s Holiday Ball Drive” would be deflated compared to years past.

            How happily wrong I was!

Before revealing this year’s finally tally, here are some more Most Valuable Philanthropists…

Nick Sarris donated 34 balls “in memory of baby Sienna” and Rebecca Fox gave two “in honor of Arlys Tuttle’s recent 100th birthday!”

Scott and Randi Harris gave six balls, noting: “We love to think of children running, playing and laughing – maybe even forgetting about some of the unfair challenges, if only for a little while.”

Ann Cowan continued her late husband Jim’s annual tradition by giving 10 basketballs and legendary basketball coaches Joe Vaughan Mickey Perry also gave 10.

Sandra Janotta donated six balls; Ethel Yim gave five; Bob Vrtis, four; Jane Eller, three, Steve and Bobbin Yarbrough, two; and the Robles family gave one.

A record avalanche of gift sports balls came in this year!

Susan Adamich gave one ball; Christine Weidenheimer, two; Doris Brown, three; Rick and Lucie Estberg, four; Judy Magee Windle, five; and Richard Bergman donated six.

Charla and Tom Mooney gave 23 balls “in honor of our 23 grandchildren” and Mary Samples similarly gave one ball each in honor of her three grandchildren.

Chuck and Ann Elliott similarly gave 10 balls “in honor of the young people who may be inspired by them to pursue their dreams in life” and Steve McFadden donated four balls in memory of his dad, Harold.

The Hein family – Chris, Julie, Audrey and Howie – gave two balls; Anna and Tom McBreen did likewise; and so did Cristina Kildee. Ken and Elaine Lyle, and their grandsons Josh and Corbin, also gave two balls.

The Clayton Family – Denny, Peggi and Paige – donated three balls, as did Tim and Peggy Hughes.

An anonymous donor gave 24 balls “in memory Gary, who believed youth sports were essential in building confidence, sportsmanship and discipline; all characteristics that benefit not only the individual, but society in general.”

Jan and Tom Lewis gave ten basketballs “in memory of Charlie Feyh, coach of the Ventura Nets girls basketball teams; and Rick Masterson, former announcer for Buena High girls basketball.”

Lynne and Don Steensma donated eight balls, as did Dan and Judy Dugan; Bobbie and Dave Williams gave six, as did Kathleen Selmer; and Sheila and Vivienne Raives gave five, as did Sol Chooljian and Laura McAvoy.

Margie Chespak and Jim Tankersley donated a dozen balls “in memory of Pete Ackermann, a wonderful, godly man and Oaks Christian legend” and one ball was given anonymously “in memory of Armando Luna.”

Wendy Spasiano donated 19 balls; Jeff and Anne Barks gave a baker’s dozen; Brad and Mia Ditto gave 11; Karen and Dave Brooks gave 10, as did Joann Cooper; Shelly and Steve Brown gave five; David and Shelley Cole gave four; and Tom and Karyne Roweton gave two.

Patrons of The Goebel Adult Community Center in Thousand Oaks donated 79 balls and Camarillo Somis and Pleasant Valley Lions Club gave 122 more.

In another shared effort, 220 balls were given by a group of family members and friends who wished to only have their first names used: Alma, Aric and Margarita, Allen and Alast, Rachel and Michael, Emma, Rick and Nancy, Shaun and Ruth, Andy and Connie, Christine and Tyler, Alma and Tomas, Juan; Mike and Claudia, Phil and Charlene, Steve and MaryKay, John and Kellie, Debbie, Will, Maddie, Pam, Dave, Lane, Michelle and Michael, Rose and Jace, Achilles and Caren, Ron and Anita, and Ricky and Beverly.

John and Sharon Onyshko, with the help of their grandchildren – Gage Redwine; and Colton, Charlotte and Maverick Onyshko – donated 14 balls while Dody Blankenburg took her two granddaughters, Bowie Ryan and Reagan James Smallwood, to pick out four balls.

 Jim and Sandie Arthur gave a dozen “in honor of our beloved daughters and three grown grandchildren” and Allison Johnson gave two balls “in honor my brother, Michael Demeter.”

 “In honor and loving memory of our brother and cousin, Michael Kendlinger,” Brandon and Tommy Kendlinger, and Elijah Ontiveros, donated 18 balls while Leslie Seifert-De Los Santos, son Nicholas, and family gave 10 balls “in remembrance of Manuel De Los Santos.”

An anonymous donor gave “eleven basketballs in memory of Karen, Larry, Suz, Jeanie, John, James, Eric, Keith, Rich, Louise, Becky – and a twelfth in honor of everyone who is currently fighting cancer.” Four and two more balls were also given anonymously.

Ken and Kathy McAlpine gave three balls; Greg and Jess Woodburn gave two; and a dozen balls came from a married couple who wished to anonymously “spread some love.”

An abundance of love was indeed spread this year in the form of 1,038 young holiday smiles, smashing last year’s previous record ball total of 891.

“My beloved mom told me,” former Rhodes Scholar Pat Haden once shared with me, “that the words ‘thank you’ are the most powerful words in the English language.”

To each and everyone who helped spread the love by giving one ball, or many, I say most earnestly, “Thank you!”

*   *   *

Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Personalized Signed copies of WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and  “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

Part 2: Books That K.O.’d Me In 2022

When a book really knocks me out, to paraphrase Holden Caulfield in the knockout novel “The Catcher in the Rye,” I like to pick up another offering by the same author. This habit served me well in 2022 during my annual quest to read at least one book a week for the calendar year.

Paul Gallico originally knocked me out many years ago with “The Snow Goose,” a novella I have reread umpteen times, and this year I visited him anew with “Mrs. Harris Goes To Paris.” This slim book was so thick with fun that I instantly picked up its sequel, “Mrs. Harris Goes to New York,” which was about twice as long and I think I liked it twice as much simply because I had already fallen in love with the feisty and lovely Mrs. Harris.

“84, Charing Cross Road” by Helene Haff is another absolutely charming little book that will be especially loved by those who adore bookstores. This London “Road” led me to Haff’s “Q’s Legacy: A Delightful Account of a Lifelong Love Affair with Books,” a sequel that is actually a prequel. Both are quite enjoyable, but if you only read one of the two go with “84.”

I’m not sure which I favored more from Antoine Laurain – “The Red Notebook,” a mystery and love story kneaded into one, or “French Rhapsody” about the members of a band that missed out on a record label deal because a letter was lost in the mail only to be delivered 33 years later.

Speaking of music, Jennifer E. Smith’s “The Unsinkable Greta James,” about an indie rock star whose star has fallen and who has had a falling out with her widower father and finds herself on an Alaskan cruise ship with him, was in the running for my favorite book of the year. Three more contenders were “The Violin Conspiracy” by Brendan Slocumb; “Cloud Cuckoo Land” by Anthony Doerr; and “The River Why” by David James Duncan.

The beautiful writing in “The Last Days of Ptolemy Grey” by Walter Mosely led me to his imaginative and powerful short story collection “The Awkward Black Man.” Two more short-stories home runs are “The Angel of Rome: And Other Stories” by Jess Walters and “Liberation Day” by George Saunders.

Six more high-fives: “The Bartender’s Tale” by Ivan Doig; “The Cicada Tree,” a debut novel set in the South by Robert Gwaltney; “The Reading List” by Sara Nisha; “Under the Wave at Waimea” by Paul Theroux; and “Catcher’s Keepers” by J.D. Spero, imagining what if Holden Caufield had met John Lennon’s killer before the assassination happened. Also, with the disclaimer that he’s my second cousin, the novel “Cutter” by J. Woodburn Barney.

“What The Wind Knows” by Amy Harmon is an engaging time-travel story anchored around the Irish Revolution in the early 1900s. Speaking of Ireland, I happened upon Irish writer Claire Keegan’s “Small Things Like These” which led me to her “Foster.” Both novellas are very short, and very good, with hints of “David Copperfield.”

The new novel “Demon Copperhead,” meanwhile, carries more than a mere hint in its 560 pages. Naming a title character so closely to Charles’ Dickens’ famous orphan protagonist, with an echoing theme, sets a high bar but Barbara Kingsolver’s masterful storytelling is tall to the task.

Indeed, excluding my daughter Dallas’s two 2022 releases – the YA novel “Thanks, Carissa, For Ruining My Life” and adult short story collection “How to Make Paper When the World is Ending” – “Demon Copperhead” knocked me out more than any other book in 2022.

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Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Personalized Signed copies of WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and  “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

Turning The Pages In 2022

Amos Bronson Alcott, an 18th century teacher and writer – and, famously, father of Louisa May Alcott, who wrote the very good book “Little Women” – once observed: “That is a good book which is opened with expectation and closed with profit.”

In 2022, in my annual quest to read a book a week, I have to date triumphantly opened 59 covers with expectation but admittedly closed quite a few without profit. Moreover, because I tend to be as stubborn as a grease stain in my insistence to always finish a book, I closed a fistful feeling a debt of time wasted.

But my hardheadedness has its limits and twice this year I gave up on novels after about 50 pages. After all, as French essayist Joseph Joubert wrote, “The worst thing about new books is that they keep us from reading the old ones.” Surely the same is true of books, old or new, that are the reading equivalent of scrubbing a floor.

I’m sure you are wondering the titles of the two books I threw the sponge in on. My lips are sealed for I would sooner insult a meal at friend’s home than publicly disparage a book. Most likely the blame lies with my finicky palate, not my hosts’ culinary skills; on my reading tastes, not the author’s storytelling.

Mark Twain was of the same mind, although with exceptions, noting: “I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can’t conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read ‘Pride and Prejudice’ I want to dig her up and bat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”

Hence, I offer this enthusiastic book blurb for both of the books I abandoned: “Mark Twain would surely compare (title here) to ‘Pride and Prejudice’!”

When I do close a book with profit, I generally will try another one by the author – and, oftentimes, another and another and so on. Indeed, it is a delight to discover a writer you haven’t before read who gives you such a thrill you gobble up the rest of their titles like a literary Pac-Man. Brian Doyle did that for me late last year after reading, and recommending here, “One Long River of Song”. This year I devoured six more of his offerings, all of which I enjoyed, notably the novels “Mink River” and “Martin Marten” and most especially “Chicago: A Novel”

On the other hand, if I feel like swinging a shinbone as Mr. Twain did, I will usually leave the author be. One exception, however, is Elizabeth Strout. Despite being greatly disappointed with “Oliver Kitteridge”, for which she won the Pulitzer Prize, I in turn read “My Name is Lucy Barton”, “Olive Again” and “Oh William!” and liked them no better.

I finally concluded Elizabeth Strout is my Twain-ian Jane Austen, a widely popular taste I can’t seem to acquire. This pained me because I’ve seen Strout speak in person and found her extremely engaging.

My wife, however, adores Strout’s writing and for her birthday I gave her Strout’s latest bestseller, “Lucy by the Sea”. One evening, out of curiosity, I took a peek at the opening page…

…and kept turning the pages late into the night, captivated by this COVID-19 tale. Indeed, it is one of my favorite books this year. Next week, I will fill up a short shelf with some more profitable reads.

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There is still time to become an MVP by dropping off new balls (no batteries required!) at Jensen Design & Survey at 1672 Donlon St., Ventura CA 93003 (weekdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.); or have online orders shipped to this same address; and I will take it from there.

And please be sure to email me at woodywriter@gmail.com about your gift so I can add your generosity to this year’s tally and thank you in an upcoming column.

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Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Personalized Signed copies of WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and  “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

 

MVPs Scoring for Ball Drive

Highlights during the 2022 FIFA World Cup have thus far been many and spectacular, but the flying soccer balls that have truly grabbed my attention – and heart – are those coming in for my annual Woody’s Holiday Ball Drive.

Basketballs and footballs, too, all to be given to local disadvantaged kids. For many of these recipients it will be the only holiday gift they receive. Below are some of this year’s early MVPs (Most Valuable Philanthropists)…

Jerry and Linda Mendelsohn took four of their six grandchildren – Garrick, 12; Dannika, 9; Parker, 8; and Joy, 4 – to personally pick out a mix of 20 basketballs and soccer balls.

Ben Coats, noting that “all kids need something to smile about on Christmas,” gave a baker’s dozen of soccer balls.

Some of the gifts for kids!

Kay Giles and Michael Mariani kicked in six soccer balls.

Kay and Ray Morgan dished out 15 assists in basketballs.

Ron Lay donated one basketball as did Bob and Rebecca McAuley.

“Envisioning more happy faces on boys and girls receiving these gift balls each year is such a wonderful feeling,” wrote Glen Sittel, who donated four smiles.

“It felt great!” said Carrie Wolfe, who gave three smiles.

Rick and Mary Whiting gave two each soccer balls and basketballs.

Toby Petty donated three soccer balls as did Linda Peddie.

Sally and Tom Reeder gave a variety of 15 balls, noting that their shopping spree was “a glorious day and one of our favorites!”

Fran and Kate Larsen donated one football and three soccer balls.

“One of our favorite reminders that the holiday season is upon us is when we see your column in The Star advising that it is time for your Ball Drive,” wrote Alan and Kathy Hammerand who donated a mixture of 11 balls.

Joe Wigert gave five basketballs.

Lynn Kenton gave three basketballs and one soccer ball.

Lynda Rice donated two soccer balls, and 10 ball pumps as well, in memory of her mom, Mercedes Johnson, noting: “She was the type of person who was always gathering donations and reaching out to those who needed help.”

Charis Werner donated 10 various balls: “In memory of sweet Arrow, a dog who loved a good game of chase the ball!”

Tim Hansen tossed in an assortment of 10 balls and Peggy Greathouse and family donated five basketballs.

Irma Paramo and her neighbor, Kay Handlin, donated seven basketballs, noting: “I’m sure the Ball Drive will make a lot of children happy!”

Howard Reich did his part to make eight kids happy and Kent Brinkmeyer added three more smiles.

“In memory of Tim ‘Ute9’ Fahringer, a loyal friend and teammate,” a donor who wished to remain anonymous gave four each basketballs, soccer balls and footballs.

Another kind soul who wished to remain anonymous gave one dozen basketballs in memory of the late Jim Cowan, who always donated the very same.

“I wish I could give 100 balls,” said Kym King, a queen of kindness by giving 10 basketballs.

Maya Woodburn McAuley, my precious granddaughter who turns four this month, enthusiastically picked out and gave three balls from herself and her parents.

There is still time to become an MVP by dropping off new balls (no batteries required!) at Jensen Design & Survey at 1672 Donlon St., Ventura CA 93003 (weekdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.); or have online orders shipped to this same address; and I will take it from there.

And please be sure to email me at woodywriter@gmail.com about your gift so I can add your generosity to this year’s tally and thank you in an upcoming column.

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Essay copyrights Woody Woodburn

Woody writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Personalized Signed copies of WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and  “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” are available at WoodyWoodburn.com