Monthly Archives: April 2021

A Few Of My COVID-19 Butterflies

by Woody

I am guessing that at one time or another, perhaps in a grade-school class or maybe on your own on the windowsill of your childhood kitchen, you placed a caterpillar inside a big jar along with a twig for it to climb on and some leaves or milkweed to eat, and then waited for the magic to happen.

One day, unless you forgot to poke air holes in the jar lid, the caterpillar spun a silky cocoon. Then, inside this protective casing, it wondrously transformed into a chrysalis before emerging as a beautiful butterfly.

It seems to me we have all been like caterpillars this past year, forced inside our stay-and-shelter cocoons. Now, thanks to the scientific magic of vaccines, it is becoming time to safely emerge.

The question is, do we have new wings or are we unchanged caterpillars?

Early on during the coronavirus pandemic, I shared a quote from my hero, John Wooden – “Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things out” – and suggested this piece of wisdom seemed especially pertinent during these trying days and nights.

Fully a year later, I am curious if – and if so, how? – you have made things turn out for the best? Perhaps you became an expert baker or learned a new language or took up painting? Here are a few of my COVID-19 butterflies…

Visiting with loved ones and friends, while wearing facemasks and keeping a safe social distance, has made me appreciate hugs like never before.

Having a long-planned and greatly anticipated anniversary vacation to Italy cancelled gave me a greater appreciation for travelling than the trip itself could have. When we finally leave home for Rome, I believe my wife and I will savor it tenfold.

Although not quite a phobia, I truly do not like going to the grocery store and so discovering home delivery apps has been a godsend and something I will continue to use.

Despite taking no vacations during the pandemic, I did “travel” to The Mark Twain House & Museum in Hartford, Conn., via an online virtual guided tour. Similarly, I re-“visited” The Edgar Allen Poe House and Museum in Baltimore and The Ernest Hemingway Home and Museum in Key West for special presentations by expert storytellers. These “trips” required no air flights or hotels and were either free or nearly so and I plan to continue searching them out moving forward.

Similarly, I “attended” more than two dozen book talks given around the globe by award-winning authors – including George Saunders, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Anne Lamott and Nikole Hannah Jones – and even asked questions during the Q & A, while sitting on my couch!

I learned that my wife can put up with me 24/7 even after 38 years of marriage.

We have gotten into the habit of visiting with our daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter, and our son and his fiancé, almost daily via Zoom chats.

With Date Nights with my much-better half and Happy Hours with friends and most other social gatherings basically cancelled, it has been like having more hours in the day and even extra days in a month. Thus, things turned out for the best for me with more books read than my usual 52 annual goal – and also in writing a novel manuscript.

Returning to Coach Wooden, as I often do, I believe as the tragic tally of COVID-19 deaths has grown from heartbreaking to mind-numbing and beyond, the pandemic has made my favorite butterfly-beautiful Wooden-ism resonate more powerfully than ever: “Make each day your masterpiece.”

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Personalized Signed copies of WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and  “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

Gold Coast Inspired Earth Day

by Woody

My friend Derek doesn’t walk on water, of course, but he can paddle on it while standing up. And when he’s out and about on his paddleboard he does a miraculous thing: he turns ocean water that is polluted enough to whine about a little cleaner.

The 51st annual Earth Day is Thursday and this year’s theme is “Restore the Earth.” This, it seems to me, is exactly what Derek does in his own small way. He helps restore our harbor waters, and beyond, by plucking out small piles of soggy trash – from common plastic grocery bags, coffee cups and fast-food wrappers to random items like lost life jackets, lengths of rope and most anything else that will float.

In truth, I know quite a few paddlers and surfers and beachgoers who make a goal of picking up three pieces of litter each time they go to the beach. I bet you know such a person and may even be one yourself.

A recent haul of soggy trash by Derek…

In Greek mythology, Helen of Troy was said to be so beautiful her abduction caused the Trojan War and inspired the sobriquet “The Face That Launched A Thousand Ships.” Well, Ventura County’s Gold Coast is so beautiful as to have helped launch the modern environmental movement by inspiring the first “Earth Day” on April 22, 1970.

This is true. Of all the breathtaking landscapes and pristine beaches on Earth, our very own scenic coastline is the Helen of Troy of beauties. When she was abducted, so to speak, by a monumental oil spill a national call to arms rang out.

While Rachel Carson’s groundbreaking 1962 bestseller “Silent Spring” raised public awareness about environmentalism, it was the devastation caused by a blowout of Union Oil’s Platform A in the Santa Barbara Channel on Jan. 28, 1969 that pushed U.S. Senator Gaylord Nelson of Wisconsin to create Earth Day.

In his book, “The Beach Colony Called Land & Sky: A History of Solimar Beach,” the late William Hart, a local pioneering cardiologist-turned-historical-author, wrote: “In January 1969, one of the worst of many oil spills to afflict our planet took place when a Union Oil drilling platform leaked about 21,000 gallons of raw crude oil per day.

“The oil slick eventually covered about a 200-square-mile area extending from the Standard Oil pier at Carpinteria to Pitas Point. The riprap, sea wall and ocean-facing decks at Solimar were soiled with tar and oil. Many shore birds and other sea life were killed. In truth, there has been seepage of oil and tar in this area at least since the Chumash inhabited the Rincon, but this was an exceptionally large spill.”

Exceptional, indeed, with an estimated final tally of 3 million gallons. At the time it was the largest oil spill in United States waters and five decades later still ranks No. 6, more than five times larger than the seventh-worst disaster.

Capitalizing on intense national media coverage and public outcry, Sen. Nelson 15 months later founded Earth Day with 20 million Americans taking part in coast-to-coast rallies that proved instrumental in creating the Environmental Protection Agency as well as passage of the Clean Air Act, Clean Water Act and Endangered Species Act.

“Restore the Earth” can seem impossibly overwhelming, but I think Derek is onto something important: he celebrates each day as Earth Day by focusing on restoring his own little piece of paradise.

Alone, Derek – or you or me – can’t clean up mankind’s entire Colony of Land and Sea, but as Mother Teresa wisely noted: “If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.”

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Personalized Signed copies of WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and  “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

TLC From Gardening Readers

by Woody

Like an abundance of zucchini from a single plant, last week’s column about my lack of a green thumb resulted in a bushel of TLC – Tender Loving Comments – from gardener readers.

One reply was actually from a Gardner, first name Rick, who wrote: “I am inept with plants despite my last name. I had to marry a woman with a green thumb to salvage my family credentials.”

I believe that’s called “marrying up,” Rick. Alas, my much-better half is no better at making a campfire than myself so my Woodburn-ing family credentials remain unsalvageable.

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            More seriously, Marcella Klein Williams replied by sharing the wisdom of a philosopher: “I think we all grow a little straighter when somebody reads or sings to us.”

Truth be told, Marcella has made a career out of helping young people grow a little straighter – and taller and more confident – as an elementary school teacher, principal, administrator and now STEM Director at Oxnard College.

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            “I have a green thumb,” Lauren Siegel wrote proudly while making no such claims about her singing voice. “I confess I have never read to my plants. Now I’ll be singing to them and they will probably start to droop, lol!”

I am reminded of the grade-school experience of my elder brother who, week after week, was released from music class early. He proudly said it was because he sang so well, but the truth turned out to be he simply sang so awfully loud – and loudly awful – that he could have made a plant droop and was distracting the rest of the chorus.

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            Dorene Cowart was one of numerous readers who commented on my column about the famous Victory over Japan Day photograph of the sailor kissing a nurse in Times Square: “I was at Grace Hospital School of Nursing when that photograph appeared in the paper. Needless to say, we were ecstatic.

“There’s a song from WWII, ‘When the Lights Go On Again (All Over the World).’ Now I go around singing, ‘When the Masks Come Off (All Over the World).’ Soon, soon, soon, we’ll be back to normal.”

So, Dorene, which of the two songs do you think your plants prefer? Asking for a fern.

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Alex Jannone also shared a V-J Day memory: “Your column made it seem like it was my yesterday, being eight years old at the time. I was born in Bay Ridge, but raised in St. Albans. Over the years, I saw many casualties coming and going at the St. Albans Navel Hospital.

“That V-J Day weekend, there were very large family-oriented parades everywhere in New York and Long Island. My mom gave me two pot covers and my older sister joined us. Somehow, we got separated. I’m lost. All the streets looked the same. I’m crying like a baby. Strange people held on to me until somebody knew me and took me home. I lost my pot covers, but there was my mother and sister crying on the front stoop.”

Alex added a postscript to my earlier column reminiscing about paperboys that also mentioned how these days my newspaper often winds up under my car, dead-center and out of reach, as if the adult delivery person is playing a prank on me.

“What is this, contagious?” Alex asked. “For 45 years, I never, never got the paper stuck under and inside my front truck tire. A few days after your column, I had to get on my knees, in my pajamas.”

In other words, Alex, you were dressed for a work meeting on Zoom?

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Personalized Signed copies of WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and  “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” are available at WoodyWoodburn.com

Can A Poison Thumb Turn Green?

by Woody

In college, for a girl I had a crush on, I agreed to care for her cat and a houseplant over winter break. The CliffsNotes plot summary: I overwatered the plant, overfed the feline, and overestimated the girl’s feelings for our relationship.

Of the three, only the fat cat survived.

For a different girl I met in college, years later I planted a dwarf orange tree as a gift for her 15th wedding anniversary. I did everything the gardening expert at the nursery advised: from choosing an ideal location with optimal sunshine, to digging a hole of the prescribed circumference and depth, to using the right soil mixture and watering amply but with care.

Alas, for our 16th anniversary I did not give my wife a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice in bed because the tree had already died. Fortunately, our wedded family tree is still thriving after 38 years.

Some people – such as my great-grandfather, who developed his own registered “Woodburn Golden Dent” corn variety that won countless state gold medals and was popular well beyond the borders of his native Ohio – have green thumbs.

My thumb, on the other hand (on both hands, in fact) is funeral black. To trees, plants, lawns, roses and even full gardens, I am a human Dust Bowl. And so it was with great trepidation that I agreed to care for my son and his lovely fiancé’s small potted succulent named Spikey.

While my wife has developed a light-green thumb to compensate for my inabilities, I wanted to make amends for the departed orange tree and thus assumed the care of Spikey. How is it going, you might wonder?

Believe it or not, my future daughter-in-law tells me Spikey is thriving like never before! Further truth be told, I must share credit with a dear friend of mine. “Sus,” who has a bright emerald thumb, shared with me a few of her secrets.

First off, she told me I must occasionally take Spikey outside for “recess” in the fresh air. This sounded both reasonable and doable.

Secondly, less reasonable and much less doable, she advised me to sing to Spikey. Sus leans towards church hymns for her houseplants and specifically noted that her bonsai tree, “Little Harmony,” is partial to “I Come To The Garden Alone.”

Understand, Sus sings in a choir and has a voice so enchanted it could turn weeds into roses. My voice, I fear, would do the opposite. Thus, Sus agreed I could instead play radio music for Spikey under one condition – that I must at least read to him.

“You’re joking, right?” I said.

It turns out Spikey seems to enjoy hearing “The Runaway Bunny” and “Goodnight Moon” from my lips nearly as much as does my two-year-old granddaughter. When I confessed to Sus that I felt silly reading children’s books to a plant, however, she suggested trying a novel.

“You’re kidding, right?”

I think Spikey’s vocabulary is growing almost as steadily as he is.

It seems I have become a plant whisperer of sorts. As such, I have now been temporarily entrusted with six of Spikey’s relatives: Lundy, short for London, who needs to avoid direct sunlight and Lexa, who likes a little sunshine; Phillip and Mariposa, who each must have their support stakes routinely checked for straightness; and Verny and Junior, who should both be watered sparsely.

As for books, I was thinking they might all enjoy if I read aloud “Where The Red Fern Grows” – but certainly not “The Giving Tree” for it would surely give them nightmares.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @woodywoodburn. His SIGNED books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.

Personalized Signed copies of WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and  “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” are available at WoodyWoodburn.com