Monthly Archives: May 2017

Talent Show Reveals Bravery, Magic

by Woody

1StrawberriesCoverWooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upFor a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

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Judge Wowed by Middle School Talent Show

Imagine if you could create your own dream talent show by choosing a la carte from concerts and performances you have personally seen over the years.

Mine, off the top of my head without looking through saved ticket stubs, would include: James Taylor and Paul McCartney each singing and playing guitar; solo vocals by Stevie Nicks, Tom Petty, and Whitney Houston; band performances by The Who, The Pretenders, and Fleetwood Mac; comedy by George Carlin and Jerry Seinfeld; a set by the New Orleans Preservation Hall Jazz Band; some Cirque du Soleil dancers; and a couple street performers – a young man in Dublin, Ireland, on the violin, and a teenage boy in a New York City subway drumming on large plastic buckets.

In my dream talent show, James Taylor would be in the line-up.

James Taylor is in the line-up of my dream talent show.

Now that would make for two hours of out-of-this-world entertainment!

The ticket price, of course, would also be out of this world.

Last week, and free of charge, I was treated to a talent show magical in its own right. It was my good fortune to be a judge for Santa Paula’s Isbell Middle School Talent Show.

Along with fellow judges Kay Wilson Bolton, Sheryl Meisenheimer and Alfonso Gamino, I was instructed to score the 19 acts in four categories: Presentation, Skill, Originality and Costume. Each category was worth five points.

Judging was more difficult than I anticipated. For example, it seemed wise to score the first few acts conservatively to allow wiggle room above – but how conservatively?

Hence, if Leo Reichling – who did a solo dance that was a mix of ballet, Justin Bieber steps, and street moves – had been the opening performance, I would have felt I could give him only 4.9s across my scorecard. You know, just in case an eighth-grade singing-and-dancing Beyonce came later.

However, by the time Leo took the stage midway through the show, I felt confident giving him a perfect 20. He was that terrific.

Which is not to say there weren’t other wonderful acts. From a guitar solo to piano solos; from an a cappella solo to vocalists with accompaniment; from a handful of group dance numbers to a comedy skit, the talent was entertaining from the opening act to the closing curtain.

It seems a cliché to say this, but just by taking the stage each contestant showed great talent. After all, displaying courage is a talent in itself.

Giving an oral report in front of one’s middle school peers can make the palms sweat; performing on a stage is tenfold more intimidating. Which is why one of the most memorable acts of the night in my eyes, and heart, was one that did not score well.

It was a pianist and bucket drummer. The duo began flawlessly, but slowly the piano grew softer while the drummer picked up the beat and volume. It was all very good and seemed a purposeful decision to fade out the piano and bring the street percussions front and center.

Suddenly, however, the pianist looked up from the ivory keys with his face registering terror. He had lost his place in the arrangement. If only he had faked it, I doubt the audience would have been any the wiser.

Instead, the pianist bolted off his bench and raced offstage, embarrassed. He need not have been. As Woody Allen has been credited with observing: “Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

The boy had bravely shown up. I hope the lesson he takes away is that the worst thing that could have happened on stage did, and yet it was not the end of the world.

To the contrary. His performing partner did not show the slightest anger. The audience did not laugh or jeer at the slip up. Rather, the Isbell Middle School students applauded the effort.

Actually, I think that was my favorite part of the evening: the kids. Not just those who courageously stepped on stage, but also those who watched respectfully, rhythmically clapped along with singers and dancers, and applauded enthusiastically for every single performer.

Leo’s feet were fantastic, but all the kids were hands-down terrific.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden & Me Kickstarter Front PhotoCheck out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

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‘Wright’ Perspective on Air Travel

by Woody

1StrawberriesCoverWooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upFor a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

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Air Travel Depends on ‘Wright’ Perspective

At the end is where I shall begin today, with the beginning coming at the close of this column. There is a reason for this, as you will see.

Also, there is a reason for the chronicle of complaints to follow – a list almost as long as a TSA security line. Yes, this tale is about the headaches and frustrations of traveling by airplane.

While my recent flight from LAX to New York’s JFK International had no thrown punches or any passengers dragged off because of overbooking, in many ways it still typified why air travel can seem as pleasant as a kidney stone.

Air travel has changed a great deal since the 1903.

Air travel has changed a great deal since the 1903.

Working backwards, we start at Baggage Claim. After a long walk through the terminal and waiting another 15 minutes at the designated carousel, the bell rang and the lights flashed and the merry-go-round for suitcases finally began moving.

Around and around it slowly turned, but no luggage emerged.

Another ten minutes passed before our flight’s baggage finally began to appear – on a different carousel.

This carousel quickly stopped. Not-so-quickly is restarted. My suitcase eventually appeared, about in the middle of the pack, about 40 minutes after we passengers had arrived at Baggage Claim.

Departing the massive jet was like 100 boxing matches held inside 100 shower stalls. Instead of flying fists to duck, one needed to dodge carry-on luggage being yanked from the overhead storage bins.

A duffle bag far too large to qualify as carry-on, landed a punch to the back of my head. No apology was offered. Instead, the culpable woman tried to push her way through the Space Mountain-like line in the aisle ahead, announcing: “I have to get to a connecting flight!”

As if she were the only passenger in a rush. By the way, we were two rows from the back of the plane. Her rudeness was rightly met with scorn.

Like Usain Bolt at the blast of the starter’s pistol, the instant the captain announced we had stopped taxiing, 97 percent of the passengers bolted out of their seats. They instantly battled to retrieve their carry-on bags like NBA players boxing out for rebounds.

The landing at JFK was so smooth that had a cup of water been secured outside on the wing it would not have splashed. Inside the plane, however, it looked like a tornado had passed through with trash, blankets and food strewn everywhere – especially in first-class.

The man in front of me reclined his seat the entire flight, giving himself a few extra inches of extra comfort while rendering my video screen dark from the tilted angle.

A baby cried, and loudly, for half an hour.

A couple across the aisle from me complained to the flight attendant about this, that and the other. Their complaints grew ruder, and louder, the more wine they drank.

My seatmate also wore a tank top and had armpits like a pelt. I know this because he kept raising his arms to adjust the air-vent nozzle.

My seatmate unpacked a huge salad which he ate with the same gusto the Beast in “Beauty and the Beast” attacked a bowl of porridge. Lettuce shrapnel struck me three times.

After boarding the plane on time, our takeoff was delayed 35 minutes.

Now the beginning. Our captain greeted us over the P.A. system with an apology for the delayed departure and then shared this eloquent message:

I know air travel can be frustrating at times. I think it’s well to remember that the Wright Brothers made their first flight just 113 years ago. We’ve come an amazing distance, very quickly, since then.

That historic flight covered just 120 feet – the wingspan of this Airbus A330-300 is longer than that.

That first flight also lasted only 12 seconds and reached an altitude of about 20 feet – our altitude will be 36,000 feet and our scheduled flight time is 5 hours and 41 minutes.

So keep the Wright Brothers in mind and have a nice flight.

Thanks to that wise perspective, I indeed had a wonderful and enjoyable flight.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden & Me Kickstarter Front PhotoCheck out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

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Local Radio Host Walks His Talk

by Woody

1StrawberriesCoverWooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upFor a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

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Local Radio Host Walks, Walks, Walks

His Talk for Relay For Life

In the movie “Caddy Shack,” Carl Spackler, the groundskeeper played by Bill Murray, is caddying for Bishop Fred Pickering when the wind and rain turns torrential.

“What do you think, fella?” the Bishop asks.

“I’d keep playing,” replies Spackler. “I don’t think the heavy stuff’s gonna come down for quite awhile.”

This, in a nutshell, describes Tom Spence’s experience at the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life of Ventura at Buena High School last weekend.

Tom Spence is a superhero for local charities.

Tom Spence is a superhero for local charities.

As the winds forced most participants to seek shelter, and eventually pack up and leave early, Spence’s reaction was: I don’t think the heavy stuff’s here yet so I’ll just keep on walking.

Spence, a Ventura County radio personality for more than three decades and currently host of The KVTA Morning Show, has participated in numerous Relays For Life. This year he stepped up his game.

“I decided I’d walk the entire time,” says Spence, who made his goal public: Walk 53 miles – two marathons – during the 24 hours from the Relay’s opening ceremony at 10 a.m. Saturday to its closing celebration Sunday morning.

After arriving more than an hour late straight from work, Spence walked a solid 12 miles in the first four hours before taking a 30-minute break.

The next four hours, however, saw his pace slow down as the winds picked up.

“I thought I was sunk at Mile 22,” Spence confides. “The cold wind was breaking me down. It was awful. I felt like I had the flu. I knew I had no chance for 53 miles.”

His hopes gone with the wind, Spence sought refuge in a friend’s RV.

“I was a new person after the half-hour break,” Spence recalls. “I was rejuvenated.”

It was more than the rest that did him good – it was good company rallying to his side. Friends, neighbors and even about 40 of his loyal listeners braved the elements to keep him company.

“I was stunned by the response, by such kindness,” Spence says. “They really lifted my spirits.”

Misery loves company. As the winds grew even stronger, so did Spence.

“Suddenly, I had a spring in my step,” he says.

A middle-of-the-night cup of Cuban coffee from a friend gave Spence’s stride another needed jolt.

As dawn arrived, so did the rain. What started out as a village of 60 tents for the various Relay teams was now a ghost town. Drenched but undaunted, Spence did the math and smiled into the teeth of the storm: “I realized I might do it after all.”

Do it he did, finishing GPS-certified Mile 53 with 15 minutes to spare.

By walking his talk, Spence raised more than $2,000 for the American Cancer Society; honored his wife, Colleen, who is a cancer survivor; and also beat down his body into agony.

“Monday morning at work,” Spence, 58, says, “I parked my car and – this is the truth – I crawled into the station on my hands and knees. I was bloody sore. I’ve done a lot of stuff – mud runs, two marathons – and nothing compares to this. I was in pain from toes to hips.”

Mark Twain said, “Golf is a good walk spoiled.” One might expect Spence felt this year’s Relay For Life was a long walk spoiled, but you would be wrong.

“I think this was my most memorable Relay For Life because it had to be endured,” Spence says.

It was also memorable for a different reason, a better reason, about 100 reasons.

“The real highlight was the people,” Spence says, warmly. “I can’t name everybody’s name who helped me and walked with me. People who you count on are wonderful – but also people you didn’t imagine, which is really awesome.”

The outpouring was well deserved because Tom Spence is a community treasure who has never met a charity event he would not assist.

“My motivation for helping is to make up for what I didn’t do up to when I was 21,” he explains. “I was a little slow before I started getting involved.”

Now he is unstoppable.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden&Me_cover_PRCheck out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece” and my essay collection “Strawberries in Wintertime: Essays on Life, Love, and Laughter” …

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Readers Share Small Gratitudes

by Woody

1StrawberriesCover

Wooden-&-Me-cover-mock-upFor a Personalized Autographed copy of “STRAWBERRIES IN WINTERTIME” or “WOODEN & ME” mail a check for $25 to:

Woody Woodburn

400 Roosevelt Court

Ventura, CA 93003

* * *

Readers Share Their Own Small Gratitudes

A few weeks ago, I shared a list of small gratitudes – such as books, butterflies and beaches – I came up with while waiting in long line at the Post Office. Readers responded in a big way with their own musings . . .

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From Mitch Gold: “Greeting someone in the a.m. and getting a smile.”

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From Linda Valdez: “Walking in my neighborhood with the view of Wildwood Park; Hot showers after a day spent getting really dirty doing chores; Always having a book to read; Always having yarn to crochet; Having a loving dog and grand-dog; The joy of reading the newspaper on Saturday morning.”1thanks

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From Carol Ann Roth: “May I just add tacos to your list.” (Yes, Carol, you certainly may.)

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From Father Patrick Mullen: “May I suggest you add rocky road ice cream, and everything it stands for?” (My favorite, too – consider it added.)

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From Doris Cowart: “In my age group, one item you missed – waking up in the morning!”

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From Linda Johnson: “When people begin to complain when I am in a line, I complain back.

“I tell them I work Monday through Friday, about nine hours a day, without a lunch break or any break. I have to pay for my own medical insurance, and have no 401K. About four times a year I have to work 72 -hour weekends.

“My job forces me to spend long hours at our various county parks, libraries, and museums.

“In the summer, I often have to spend several day on the beach hunting for shells and rocks.

“In fall, I am forced on leaf-hunting expeditions. I need to be an expert in wildlife behavior and identification, bug catching, and lizard snatching.

“I am a home-schooling ‘Nana’ to my 4- and 6-year-old grandsons. I quit a well paying job with wonderful benefits to be home fulltime when my first grandson was 3 months old. They feed my soul and fill my heart.

“Money? Nice, but nothing makes me as happy, and tired, as spending the day with my grandkids.

“I usually get a smile from my formerly grumpy in-line-companion.”

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From Dick Birney: “Ventura YMCA, Lakers win or L.”

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From Lauren Siegel Estilow: “There are no bad days, there are only bad moments in a day. I try to be thankful for the small things – they’re everywhere, if you look.”

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From Karen Biedebach-Berry: “Glassy surf at Pierpont Beach, VHS class reunions – Class of ’82 still alive and strong – Monday Night Football anthem.

“My husband, Andy, added these two: first ice-cold beer after giving it up for Lent, Yosemite National Park any day of the year!”

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From Christy Cantrell, with a gorgeous photo accompanying her gratitude: “Hawk sighting in Camarillo.”

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From Sheila Smith: “Since (your column) started at the Post Office, the Jaime Escalante stamps and how far that stamp can take your message!”

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From a reader asking to be identified as “Dave from Newbury Park”, a not-so-small gratitude: “I’ve been battling cancer the past 1.5 years. It’s hard for me to not get depressed about my cancer, but we really do have many things to be grateful for.

“I’m 57 and there’s a 50-percent chance my cancer will return in the next year or two. For now, I’m trying to enjoy the small pleasures you wrote about.

“I’m even looking forward to my next long line at the post office – that would sure be better than not being here anymore!”

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From Ginger White: “Gratitude – to be in a country where we can audibly express displeasure, even if it is not a popular opinion, without too much risk of retribution; puppy or kitten breath; being able to wake in the night and hear the mockingbird’s mating songs, and not warfare; sunrise; friends who stand by me; being vulnerable and open, then falling in love at the young age of 63.”

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From Ethan Lubin, which anyone with a young daughter will want to modify: “Reading with my son.”

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From yours truly: My wonderful readers.

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Woody Woodburn writes a weekly column for The Ventura County Star and can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com.

Wooden&Me_cover_PRCheck out my memoir WOODEN & ME: Life Lessons from My Two-Decade Friendship with the Legendary Coach and Humanitarian to Help “Make Each Day Your Masterpiece”

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